Sick

My whole body was shaking. As Sam took care of Ramona, I went to my office. I paced the length of the closet-sized room, shaking out my hands.

I swallowed the spittle that gathered at the back of my throat and took deep breaths to try to stifle my fear.

Sam came in, closing the door behind her. She came up to me, I turned my back to her, and she hugged me from behind. I was surprised to feel disgust toward her.

“Are you okay? I went to see if she awake and saw her on top of you and-” she broke off. I didn’t know if she was upset that my life was in danger or that some other girl was on top of me.

She pulled back and pulled me around to face her. Her eyes sought mine for something that she wouldn’t find.

“I can’t lose you. I’m going to tell Victor about us,” she explained, and ran her hands down my chest over the fabric of my shirt, then up and under my shirt to touch the flesh of my chest with her cold fingers.

I pulled back, taking her hands out from under my shirt.

“Don’t tell him. I’m sorry Sam, I just need some time,” I told her and perched on the edge of my desk.

“Are you breaking up with me? Just because of what happened in there with Ramona?”

Ramona had said, in a voice not belonging to her, that she was going to fix me. I hadn’t wanted her to kill me, like those other men, I guess that’s why I didn’t fight back against her. I had felt the heat of fire in my lungs, in my head, and under my skin. And now I felt nothing towards Samantha, I was completely indifferent.

“Sam, fall in love with Victor again, or go find someone else. I can’t do this anymore. If you tell him, you’ll ruin your reputation, your relationship, and have us both fired, so-”

“I wont tell him,” she stated, turned on her heel and strode from the room. I ran my hands through my hair and walked back the way I had come.

I walked into Ramona’s room, found her sitting on her bed, and turned off the two cameras in her room. Her food tray looked as if it hadn’t been touched.

I fought back my fear as I turned to her.

“Eat something and I’ll take you outside.” Today was supposed to be a beautiful day, not too hot or muggy.

She looked up at my, her face emotionless. I stared back, accepting the silent challenge. She looked away first, stood up, slipped past me and plucked the wrapped, moist muffin from the tray. I sat on the chair at the desk, keeping my distance.

“Are you afraid?” She asked, not looking at me.

“What did you do to me?” I asked, instead of answering her question.

She knew I was afraid of her now. She didn’t answer me for a long time, and even her response didn’t answer the question. She finished her food and, while staring me down, licked her lips. I watched her tongue pick up the crumbs on her lips and then disappear inside her mouth. I looked down at the floor, feeling her gaze on me.

“Take me outside and we’ll talk there. I want us to be alone.”

A rational person would have told her to go to Hell. I got her shoes and we walked outside, the sun smiling down at us even though neither one of us were smiling.