Take My Hand And Never Be Afraid Again

Frank's P.O.V

I turn the key in the ignition and the sound of the engine fades leaving me in silence. I hate silence. I hate being alone in my head and with my thoughts. The school made me go to a counsellor after my parents died, his name was ‘Mr Tony’. He was a fucking dickhead. He told me that I ‘run away from my problems’ and that I should ‘face my demons’. So I just stopped going and he gave up on me in the end. He died last year actually, there was a drug raid down Sheppards road and things got a bit messy, guns were being fired in all directions and Mr Tony was an innocent man walking his dog when he was shot. But that’s how things work in New Jersey, the innocent die and the dickheads live.

The weekend was pretty boring, I had some drug business with Brendon that went smoothly. Jamia wouldn’t let me see her because apparently she looked ‘hideous’ with her broken nose. I honestly wouldn’t care what she looked like I just needed an excuse to leave my empty apartment. It was good seeing Gerard and Elena again, I forgot how much fun we used to have together, our friendship used to be so easy. The only thing in my life that was easy. I glanced out the wind screen and sighed when I saw the school. Another fucking day wasted in this hell hole. I don’t even see the point in going, it’s not like I have a future- Brendon would make sure of that. I looked out the passenger seat window and saw all the students walking to school, I had tinted windows so they couldn’t see me but a few girls were watching my car.

Yeah keep walking.

I saw Elena and smiled, she was wearing a ‘fuck the police’ t-shirt, which I’m sure she’d be made to take off. She was talking excitedly to a girl with bright red hair who was wearing combat boots, ripped tights, high-wasted shorts, a tucked in Misfits t-shirt and a denim military styled jacket. Whoever she was, she had great taste in clothes. Shit that sounded extremely gay. Wait- was that fanny? Oh shit that’s Fanny! Wow, she looks completely different. Elena points at my car then Fanny says something and they both laugh. What are they laughing at? The rest of the students cross the road to school but Elena tells Fanny something and they carry on walking towards the car park.

Elena gives me a thumbs up, motioning her head towards Fanny. Of course Elena knows I’m in the car- Elena knows everything. I give her the a-ok sign and she smirks at me. Fanny carries on talking completely oblivious to Elena and I’s exchange. Elena grabs Fanny’s hand and pulls her over to my car, I can hear them talking now.

“Elena- Frank’s not even in the car”.

“Yes he is!”Replies Elena and I open my door, Fanny opens her eyes with surprise and blushes.

“Good-evening ladies” I say with a smirk. Fanny stares at the ground, she’s subtly trying not to catch my eye. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “How are we this morning?” I ask, Elena shrugs at me then motions her head towards Fanny again. She wants me to say something.

"You look beautiful today Fanny” I say truthfully. She does look extremely beautiful and I feel like a bastard thinking it. I have Jamia. She looks up and catches my eye then gives me a small smile.

“Thanks, you look beautiful too Frank” She replies.

“Yeah I think it’s this new bra I’m wearing, it really emphasizes my best assets” I say, she laughs at me. Her eyes sparkle when she laughs and makes her look-if possible-even more pretty. Stop it Frank!

“It really does” she agrees

“So what’s going on in Fanny’s world?” I ask not breaking my gaze from her face then realising it probably makes her uncomfortable, so I look at Elena, who is standing watching us with an amused smirk on her face. I go back to looking at Fanny.

“Actually- you can’t call me that anymore” she says crossing her arms over her chest.

“Why? That’s your name isn’t it... Oh right of course, Elena got to you”. Elena’s dad owns half of Freaking New Jersey and has this centre where you can change your birth certificate name, drivers license and passport. Elena’s real name is actually Marie but I had to swear on Mr Pinkie’s (Her dog’s) grave that I wouldn’t tell anybody (we were like 10-sue me). I wonder if she told Fanny?

“Elena told me that lots of girls in the year do it”

“Yeah lots of girls do it, I’m pretty sure a girl called Marie did it”. Elena shook her head at me then shot me the death glare, which is actually scarier than you may think.

“Who’s that? Another girlfriend” Fanny says jokingly but I can hear the hurt in her voice and it nearly kills me.

“No... She was a teacher... But anyway what’s your new name?” I ask, she bites down on her snake bite for a few seconds before replying.

“Rosie, Rose for short” I smile at her, that name really suits her, plus goes with the whole ‘red hair’ thingy.

“I like it. Well Rose, Elena, shall we walk up to hell now darlings” I say getting out of my car and locking the door behind me. I place my keys in my pocket and stand between them. As we walked every time my arm brushed Rose’s I felt tingles shoot through my whole body, and I wondered if she could feel them too.

..........

(school bell rings)
“Yeahah!! end of school” Says Jason as he shoves his books in his bag at the desk in front of me.

“Don’t piss your pants Jason” I reply with a smirk, he turns to face me with eager eyes.

“Come back to mine oi and we can get high” the teacher looks at him “...on life!” The teacher looks away shaking his head and I laugh at him.

“Sorry bro I can’t, busy.”I look at my iPhone and see 17 messages from Jamia. She didn’t come to school today because of her nose and now feels the need to text me every few seconds saying how much she misses me. But I’m pretty sure she’s just scared I’ll cheat on her.

“With what?” he asks

“Business with Brendon” I reply curtly, he makes an O shape with his mouth and nods at me. I was lying of course but it works every time. Everybody in New Jersey knows who ‘Brendon’ is. Nobody knows what he looks like except for me and a few other trusted employees. He’s somebody you don’t mess with and he even scares the police because of the many people working for him. I’ve only ever actually seen him a few times, he only comes to the really big million dollar drug deals but other than that he gives me a text or a call if I’m really lucky. He’s like the big bully in the playground and I’m his most trusted side-kick. I get the job done and he knows he can rely on me. I’m in charge of people twice my size and age but everybody respects me because I’m Brendon’s favourite. They’re even scared of me because if one of them offended me, I’d only have to say one word to Brendon and they’d be dead the next morning. I’m practically Royal in the streets.

“Some other time then aye?” say Jason casually but I can hear the hope in his voice, he’s a jock which makes him one of the most popular guys in the school, but he’s nothing on me. Everybody want’s to get in good with me, if only they know how shit scared of Brendon I was.

“Yeah, seeya man” I say and walk out of the classroom into the halls, I better go and see Jamia now, I feel bad for not seeing her on the weekend. She told me not to come but I should have anyway. I see Fanny’s- oops I mean Rosie’s red hair down the corridor, she turns around and smiles at me. I smile back and nod at her to wait for me; she nods and waits beside the lockers.

“Hey Frank” I turn and see Chloe smiling slyly at me, she traces a finger up my arm and bites her lip seductively. Chloe is Jamia’s best friend and is constantly hitting on me whenever Jamias not around. It was kind of funny at first but then quickly turned creepy.

“Yeah hey Chloe” I reply turning towards Rosie again but she’s already gone.

“Wanna come back to mine?” She whispers in my ear and I push her away.

“Actually I’m going to see Jamia now, bye” I walk quickly down the corridors and out of the school gates. I see Elena out the front with headphones in her ears as I walk to my car. I reach my car and unlock the door

“Elena?” I yell even though I know she won’t hear me, she turns around and gives me a small wave before walking over to me.

“Hey Frank” She still has headphones in her ears.

“How can you hear me?” She laughs and holds up the end of her headphones, it’s not plugged into her iPod or anything she’s just wearing them.

“New accessory?” I ask

“No, people think I’m listening to music so they don’t bother talking to me”

I laugh at her “That’s so evil”

“I think you mean genius” she replies. I missed Elena, I miss her funny sarcastic humour (one that we both share) I missed the crazy shit we did together and how much fun we had. I missed how we could talk for hours about anything. I missed how comfortable I felt around her and how easy our friendship was.

“You wanna hang out Elena?” I ask, she widens her eyes in surprise.

“The king of the school want’s to hang out with a low life like me?” She replies, I would hardly call Elena a low-life, everybody knows who she is. Jamia’s more popular purely because she mingles with the right crowd and follows every fashion trend. Elena’s popular because she doesn’t.

“Come on- it’ll be like old times” I pout looking at her with puppy dog eyes. She laughs

“Fine, lets go back to my house, you haven’t been over in ages” she said, I smile and walk around the car to get in the front seat, she gets in the passenger seat.

“So ...how’s things?” she asks as I drive out of the car park and onto the road.

"Good you?”

“Cut the crap Frank, you’re miserable and you know it. So tell me-whats the problem?” I sigh and tap the steering wheel as I wait for the lights to turn red.

“I duno, schools just shit and Jamias been real annoying lately. I wish things were just easy like they used to be... you know?”

“You make things hard for yourself Frank” she replies sitting her feet up on the dashboard.

“I guess I do”

“So why don’t you take control of your life and steer it in the right direction!” she replied mimicking this fat policeman who gave us a lecture after Mikey broke into a house and stole some food when we were hungry. (We later found out that the house he broke into was actually his grandma’s and she didn’t place charges. Though she hasn’t brought him Christmas or birthday presents since)

“But in all seriousness Frank, I think you should marry Rose” I almost crash the car when she says this.

“Where the hell did that come from?”

“A beautiful place called heaven”

“Elena are you on crack?”

“No! I just believe in true love and it’s obvious you guys have it”

“What do you mean by that?” I demand as we pull into her driveway.

“Well... it’s like in Cinderella. Rose is forced to live with her evil step sister and mother, which is Tasha and Jamia, and you’re her prince charming and I’m her fairy godmother. I give her a makeover and she goes to the ball, or in this case school... and then the rest is yet to happen! Isn’t it exciting!”

“So you’re telling me what happens next is, Rose is gonna leave her shoe at my house and then I’ll go all around New Jersey looking for the owner of the shoe and it won’t fit anybody else even though I already know it’s Rosie’s shoe.”

“Isn’t it beautiful!” She exclaims with happiness brimming in her eyes.

“No Elena it’s not, because it’s not gonna happen. That’s just a fairytale, this is New Jersey and New Jersey doesn’t have happy endings”.

“Frank? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“Do you get scared sometimes?”

“Of what?” even though I know exactly what she’s talking about.

“Of life. That you’re never gonna be happy” Her eyes were open and fearful and her makeup was smudged. Elena never let her guard down, but in those few precious moments that she does I feel the need to protect her, from everything. I never want anything to hurt her. She looks so vulnerable and yet in her eyes there it is, every time I see it my heart breaks, her eyes are filled with trust for me, that I’ll make everything better. Its something I never want to see leave her eyes.

I don’t know what made me do it, if it was that look in her eyes, or knowing I had the same look in mine, but whatever it was; I leaned in and I kissed her.