Status: completed ◕‿◕
Every Man I Fall For
Nearly Every Man
Dear Arabella,
It’s been a while. Do you remember me? I often wonder if you ever think back to then. I know I do. Everything seemed so much easier then, nothing hurt as much. At least not with us. I think, though, that maybe it was because our hearts weren’t as involved as we thought they were.
I used to think about that letter you gave me all the time. Do you remember it? I wonder if you would still write it nowadays; not necessarily to me, but to anyone. If you would still do that at the end. I think it hurt me a lot, but it taught me a lot, too. I think I got so stuck on that because back then my mind was so immature, even if I thought I was so grown up. Even though you were giving me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech, I still internalized all of that, and even if I was never desperately in love with you, I still thought it was because I wasn’t good enough. I know now that everything you said was truth. There was no point in us anymore, there never really was.
It’s crazy how much perspective five years will give you.
Anyway, I hope you’re doing OK. We were friends before everything anyway, and we always had fun, you know? I hope the years have brought you love, and wisdom. I hope you’re becoming a vet, like you always wanted. You shouldn’t let your dad hold you back, either. He just cares so much he doesn’t realise he’s smothering you.
I don’t know if you care anymore, but I’m doing great. I’m studying architecture now, a dream I guess I never knew I had but one that I’m relishing every second of. My four-year anniversary with my partner has just passed, and we’ve moved in together. T likes to joke that when you’re with me, you have to take the normal amount of time that things should progress, double it and add some. Honestly I just prefer to be cautious, wait until it’s all just right. I think you would remember that.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for everything you gave me. I hope I gave you something then as well, something that’s made you stronger or happier or smarter than you thought you could be. You helped me grow up, just in time, and for that I will always be grateful. I hope you’re done with the quiet boys, us dreamers. I hope you have someone with much more conviction now. Dreamers never hang around for long, and you’ve always been a very steady person. You deserve that much.
Maybe I’ll see you around some day: either way, we both have letters to hold us together now. I have yours and you have mine. We can move on now, or at least I can, even if you (hopefully) already have.
All my love, a little too late.
Oliver.
It’s been a while. Do you remember me? I often wonder if you ever think back to then. I know I do. Everything seemed so much easier then, nothing hurt as much. At least not with us. I think, though, that maybe it was because our hearts weren’t as involved as we thought they were.
I used to think about that letter you gave me all the time. Do you remember it? I wonder if you would still write it nowadays; not necessarily to me, but to anyone. If you would still do that at the end. I think it hurt me a lot, but it taught me a lot, too. I think I got so stuck on that because back then my mind was so immature, even if I thought I was so grown up. Even though you were giving me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech, I still internalized all of that, and even if I was never desperately in love with you, I still thought it was because I wasn’t good enough. I know now that everything you said was truth. There was no point in us anymore, there never really was.
It’s crazy how much perspective five years will give you.
Anyway, I hope you’re doing OK. We were friends before everything anyway, and we always had fun, you know? I hope the years have brought you love, and wisdom. I hope you’re becoming a vet, like you always wanted. You shouldn’t let your dad hold you back, either. He just cares so much he doesn’t realise he’s smothering you.
I don’t know if you care anymore, but I’m doing great. I’m studying architecture now, a dream I guess I never knew I had but one that I’m relishing every second of. My four-year anniversary with my partner has just passed, and we’ve moved in together. T likes to joke that when you’re with me, you have to take the normal amount of time that things should progress, double it and add some. Honestly I just prefer to be cautious, wait until it’s all just right. I think you would remember that.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for everything you gave me. I hope I gave you something then as well, something that’s made you stronger or happier or smarter than you thought you could be. You helped me grow up, just in time, and for that I will always be grateful. I hope you’re done with the quiet boys, us dreamers. I hope you have someone with much more conviction now. Dreamers never hang around for long, and you’ve always been a very steady person. You deserve that much.
Maybe I’ll see you around some day: either way, we both have letters to hold us together now. I have yours and you have mine. We can move on now, or at least I can, even if you (hopefully) already have.
All my love, a little too late.
Oliver.