The True Lies of the Once Fabulous Killjoys

Mikey got to his feet abruptly and stalked out of the studio, letting the studio door slam shut. The sound echoed loudly in the silent room, but no one moved to go after him. Outside in the autumn air he leant against the brick wall, dragging his hands down his cheeks.

Lauren has a son. She is a mother. She’s slept with someone else. Why hadn’t she told any of us before this?

The questions and the realisations kept running through his head; he just couldn’t believe what was happening. The last time he’d seen Lauren – well, things hadn’t ended well there, but that wasn’t the point – she was a carefree twenty year old who would never lie to any of them. Just how much could a person change?

“Mikey?” He turned to see Lauren standing beside him. “Can we talk, please?”

“How old is he?” he bit out coldly, not affording her any eye contact.

“Ben? He’s almost four.”

He did the math in his head and turned to her sharply. “Is he mine?”

Lauren looked at him with wounded eyes. “Do you really think that little of me to believe that I wouldn’t tell you if you had a son? You’re an asshole; I would never do that to you.”

“Yeah, well, there’ve been a lot of things I never thought you would do that you did,” Mikey said. He pushed off the wall and brushed past Lauren, continuing down the street and never looking back.

Back inside the studio the four remaining men stared, open-mouthed, at Lauren’s small son. There was an obvious resemblance between the two; he had her big, bright brown eyes, her small nose, and the same smile. Benjamin was curious like his mother, too; he studied the room with the fascination that only a child could possess. They watched as he moved around the studio.

“Do you play music?” Benjamin asked timidly. “Mummy said you do.”

“Uh, yeah,” Frank answered.

“I like music,” the boy affirmed. “I like MCR. Mummy likes MCR, too. You like MCR?”

The men exchanged glances before bursting into laughter. The poor boy didn’t know what was going on and looked at them with deep confusion.

“We... we are MCR,” Frank said through giggles.

The small boy smiled up at them nervously. “Can I see the drums?”

Excited by the fact that the boy obviously liked his instrument best, Bob grabbed Benjamin’s shoulder enthusiastically and lead him over to the storage room where they had stowed their instruments. Lauren flounced into the room a few minutes later, her cheeks flushed with remanets of her anger.

“Gee, your brother is impossible!” she huffed angrily, throwing herself down onto an overstuffed couch.

“What did he do?”

“He – ”

“Look, Mummy! I’m playing drums!” Benjamin exclaimed from behind Bob’s drum kit; he was not so much drumming as stabbing at the drum head.

Lauren smiled loving at her son, saying encouragingly, “Mummy’s little drummer boy! You keep on practicing and you’ll be as good as Uncle Bob.”

Mikey entered the studio again as Lauren watched the way her son was so engulfed with the drums. When the door banged shut her gaze collided instantly with his. Their intense eye contact held but went no further.

“Lauren?” Gerard prompted, still waiting to hear what his brother had done to agitate her.

Mikey turned away from her at the sound of Gerard’s voice, he heading over to where he’d left his jacket. She followed him with her eyes, not breaking the concentrated stare as she responded to Gerard. “I suddenly don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

For the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening Lauren was basically unreachable by any form of communication; her eyes were permanently fixed on Mikey and his every move. While the men did try talking to her, waving their hands in front of her face, clicking their fingers, throwing cushions and the like, the best they had managed to get out of her was a quick sentence describing what ice cream Benjamin liked – ‘Every flavour, all melted together, but not mixed into one colour’ – and it was frustrating the hell out of them. Mikey, though, seemed oblivious to where her attentions lied.

Lauren had taken Benjamin to bed a few hours ago – they were staying in her old bedroom – but hadn’t quite taken that final step into bed herself. The house was quiet as she padded down the carpeted stairs and through the living room to the kitchen just after eleven o’clock. She had the intention of just getting a glass of water and heading back up to bed, but the glass turned into a mug, the water into coffee, and her bed into a stool by the granite island. While in the kitchen she pondered her cocktail of emotions.

It felt right to be back with her old Killjoy friends; with them she felt safe and protected, and she knew that it was the only place that she could bring Benjamin and not have to worry about anyone finding them. For once she felt happy to be outside of her little cottage in Elmore, Idaho, a place that had a low crime rate and was never part of the Zones. Another feeling was gnawing at her, though, and that was knowing that everything between her and Mikey felt so wrong.

They’d made a lot of mistakes the last time they were together, but she refused to take sole responsibility for every one of them, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. That last night, though, it had changed everything, between them and in her life. There were some things that she would have never done if the outcome had have been different that night, not that she regretted everything that had happened in the five years she’d been away, but she would have gone about her life a lot differently to achieve the things she wasn’t ashamed of.

The sound of shuffling feet behind her broke Lauren from her reverie. Glancing up at the clock she almost dropped her mug when she saw it was past four o’clock. Forgetting the time, she whipped her head around to see the intruder, prepared to throw whatever was at her disposal if need be. She let out the breath she’d been holding when she saw it was only Mikey. It was Mikey; she tensed up immediately, beginning to wish it had been some psychotic intruder.

Mikey looked about as thrilled to see her as she was to see him. With just one second of being probed by his death stare Lauren went from nervous to annoyed in less time than it took to blink.

“Would you prefer me to drink my coffee outside where I won’t upset the aesthetics of the room?” she asked sarcastically.

After pressing his hand to the side of the kettle sitting on the kitchen counter he turned and cocked an eyebrow at her. “You mean from that empty cup in your hands? The one that hasn’t been filled with coffee since however long it takes for a stainless steel kettle to go stone cold? This being said by a person who refuses to drink her coffee unless it’s boiling hot?”

She was stunned that he remembered that little fact about her but hoped it didn’t show on her face. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, now would I Mikey? I know when I’m not wanted.”

“Then why are you even here at all?” Mikey threw his arms up in the air to emphasise that he meant the house and not the kitchen.

“Because my friends asked me to come!” she replied. “Bob wants me here, Gerard wants me here, Ray wants me here, and Frank wants me here, the only person who doesn’t is you, and I’m sorry, Mikey, but that’s not my problem. Just ignore that I’m here and the week will be over before you know it.”

Mikey went straight to ignoring her and began to prepare himself a cup of coffee. He moved about the kitchen slowly, prolonging the unavoidable eye contact he’d have to make with her when he sat down at the island. Soon enough the time came and he was sat across from her, a steaming blue mug encased in his hands; he was happy enough to ignore her, but his pride wouldn’t let her think he was avoiding her if he went to have his coffee in the living room.

“You’re coming to the show tonight, aren’t you?” Mikey asked after a while. To Lauren’s surprise, his tone was actually bordering on nice.

“Uh, yeah, that was kind of the whole point of this visit...” Lauren looked at him and thought about how he must be feeling about her being around. She knew how important the album launch was, and wanted him to play his best. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you want me to stand on Ray’s side of the stage tonight, where you can’t see me? I’ll be as invisible as I can.”

“Y– ” Mikey paused, his hard eyes scanning her face slowing turning soft. “No, stand right in the centre. I want to see your reaction to us live.”

His statement astounded her, and before she had a chance to ask why he was already gone from the room.

“This album launch is going to be very interesting...” she murmured to herself. She made another coffee so she could ponder this new revelation.