The True Lies of the Once Fabulous Killjoys

Her heart was pounding her chest as she raced out to her red mustang. Mikey hadn’t said much on the phone, just where he was and not to tell the others, but the tone of his voice and harshness of his breath conveyed urgency. As bad as things were between them right now, she did not want any harm to come to him. She had to get to him as quickly as possible.

The streets were quiet at this hour of the morning. Along the freeway there were few vehicles, most probably either returning home after a nightshift or heading out to begin store operations. The red mustang was most definitely travelling faster than the allotted speed limit.

The place that Lauren was travelling to stirred many memories in her, most of them bad. It was the old airport that had set the scene for the horror blaze that had eliminated so many Killjoys that fateful night six years ago. So much of the airport was lost in the fire that no one had ever bothered to reopen it, and no Killjoy wanted a place with such bad memories resurrected, but still people ventured out there with illegal intentions. Lauren was not naive, she knew what went on at the parties out there – drinking, drugs, sex, and violence. But just how many of those activities had Mikey participated in, she wondered.

Her stomach felt like it was halfway up her throat as the remnants of the airport came into view; the memories came flooding back.

In her mind she was picturing the moment that Korse and his Draculoids had entered the Killjoy Ball. She was transported back to that moment, the sound of gunshot echoing loudly in her ears, the screams just as deafening. She felt once again the harsh way that she had been yanked from Bob’s arms, relived each powerful slap that Korse had delivered to her.

Lauren slammed on the breaks, the car screeching to a halt. She couldn’t go any further; the flashbacks crashing into her felt so real that it was overwhelming. After taking a few calming breaths and wiping away her tears, Lauren reached for her phone and dialled Mikey’s number.

“He–”

“Look, Mikey, I can’t go in there. I’m outside the gates, just walk out to the car, okay?” Lauren spat out quickly before Mikey had finished answering the phone.

“Okay.”

Nervousness was becoming her as the minutes ticked by after she’d disconnected the call. Mikey had never been the most punctual of people, but he usually managed to get from inside to outside in under five minutes. From the car Lauren could hear the thumping of stereo speakers and drunken laughter, none of which appeased her worrying.

It had been exactly eight minutes since her rushed exchange when a stumbling figure became visible in the distance. Lauren squinted to make out the features and let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding when she noticed it was Mikey coming toward her.

He struggled with the door, not quite getting it open. Lauren had to push it open for him so he could fall into the seat that had seen better days. To her surprise, and his, he was able to fasten his seatbelt rather quickly, and in a matter of seconds Lauren had shifted into reverse and returned to the deserted freeway.

The drive was immediately silent, with Mikey appearing to be transfixed by the dashboard, while Lauren’s senses were heightened in her companion’s presence. The car was fast being consumed by the stench of alcohol, the sound of heavy breathing, and each time Lauren glanced to Mikey she felt like she should yell at him for allowing her to see him in this state.

The silence soon became too suffocating for her, and she let out what she had been thinking.

“What is wrong with you?” she yelled. “What the hell possessed you to come out – to here of all places – and get completely trashed? And why pick me as the person who had to come get you? You hate me! Is this some kind of punishment for the mistakes I made? I have a son, Mikey; I should be with him now instead of becoming your taxi service. Why am I here?”

“Are you done?” Mikey asked when it seemed that Lauren had finished her rant. She sent him a scathing look, but nodded to indicate she had. “I’m not drunk – I don’t drink anymore –”

“– How stupid do you think I am? I can smell the alcohol on you!”

“I got into a fight,” Mikey surrendered, looking straight ahead with a firmly set jaw. He then lifted his shirt to reveal severe cuts and bruising across his abdomen that trailed around his sides and up and below where the fabric still covered his skin. “This is why I’m like this. I wasn’t drinking.”

“A-a fight?” Lauren questioned, her shock evident in her tone, even though the evidence was right beside her that he was telling the truth. “You don’t fight... even back in the war you hated to fight unless you had to... what happened?”

“Some guys were saying things that I didn’t agree with; they wouldn’t listen to reason, so I punched one of them... turns out that six people can punch one person harder than what one person can punch six.”

“Six people? You’re an idiot. What were you even fighting about?”

“You,” he replied easily. The confusion and question was evident in her eyes so he answered before she had to ask. “Some ex-Killjoys were at the show tonight, a few of them recognised you in the crowd. Apparently one of them had been up to Idaho and seen you there in some town – like you’d ever go to Idaho. They started saying that you were an alcoholic and drug addict, and... a whore, all this shit that isn’t true. So I punched the guy, and it went from there.”

Lauren took in what he said, her face paling instantly. Visions of Mikey being beaten repeatedly trying to defend her came to mind. It made her heart ache that she had inadvertently managed to hurt him again. He was in pain for no reason other than being too good a person.

“How do you know that all that stuff wasn’t true?” she asked inaudibly.

“You’re as perfect as they come, Kill, that’s how I know.”

Feeling guilty, Lauren said. “You shouldn’t have so much faith in me, Mikey, I’ve made my mistakes, I’ve got my regrets... most from the past five years... I’m nowhere near perfect. Just look at what my past has done to you.”

Mikey was silent for a moment; his eyes, instead of being fixed on the road ahead, were now taking in every square inch of Lauren’s face. Just look at what my past has done to you. Her words circulated around his mind, soon followed by the ones that he had said himself, the ones that that Killjoy had uttered to him at the party; whore, alcoholic, drug addict.

He was afraid to ask, but he knew he had to. “Kill, what are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that there is a reason why you guys only know my mobile number, that there’s a reason why Ben’s father isn’t in the picture, that there’s a reason why I don’t drink any more, and that there is a reason why you guys know so little about my life since I left.”

With a lump forming in his throat from what Lauren had just revealed, Mikey remained silent. He was beginning to wish that he had swallowed his pride further and called Ray or Bob instead because at that moment he didn’t think he could handle any more conversation with his one time lover.

The silence continued until they reached a twenty-four hour Wallmart a few miles out from the house. Lauren pulled into a parking spot and made for the entrance, leaving a very confused Mikey with nothing to do but follow.

In the store she reached for a shopping cart and headed for aisle one with it wheeling ahead of her. Mikey still felt like he couldn’t ask any more questions of her, but he had no choice when Lauren began walking leisurely like it was a Sunday morning instead of 3 am on a Thursday.

“What are we doing here?”

“I’m a single mum, Mikey; a twenty-four hour shop is our idea of heaven, especially at a time when you have no kids with you.” The look she received her told her to explain further. “You can just bundle up your child when they’re asleep and take them to the store. Do you have any idea how much easier grocery shopping is when you haven’t got little hands grabbing at the shelves and judgemental eyes staring at you because your child is yelling at the top of their lungs?”

“Have you ever not been a single mum?” Mikey found himself asking, instantly regretting it the second the words were out of his mouth.

Lauren looked at him solemnly, her eyes full of emotions – hurt, sadness, anger. “No, I haven’t. Ben’s never met his dad.”

“I’m sorry,” Mikey responded, and he was. He was sorry that Ben didn’t have a father in his life, and he was sorry that Lauren was experiencing parenthood on her own.

The rest of the shopping trip was conducted in silence, as was the subsequent drive back to the house. It was only after Lauren had carted her grocery bags in to the house and Mikey was on his way up the stairs that the silence was broken.

“Let me fix up those scratches for you,” Lauren called to Mikey quietly from the doorframe.

He scanned her face, curious as to why she wanted to help him after the events of that night. The softness of her eyes was too hard to resist, so he retreated back down the stairs to sit on the sofa that she pointed to before she headed for the kitchen, to get the medical kit he assumed. When she returned to him she sat down on her knees and positioned herself between his legs. Instantly as he looked down at the top of her head that was between his parted thighs the memories of five years ago came flooding back to him...

It was her last night, the following day she would be leaving for New York to attend medical school like she had always dreamed. In the weeks leading up to it Mikey had tried to suspend reality, to pretend that she wasn’t leaving and live each day like any other, but it became too difficult; he knew he had to tell her of the feelings he’d been hiding for more than a year. He’d been subtle about them – hoping she’d get the hint so he didn’t have to say it out loud – by being more affectionate toward her than usual. When she left for work he’d give her a longer hug or kiss her cheek, the same occurred when he’d leave for band practice, and when either of them got home it would be the same principle. He’d mention casually how much he’d missed her, and would go to the trouble of cooking a nice meal for her when he knew the other guys would be out late and it would be just the two of them. It seemed to him that she was completely oblivious to it all, that was until that last night.

It was late, just after eleven o’clock when she came into the living room. The others had gone to bed some time ago, making the house completely quiet apart from the sound of Bob’s snoring coming from the downstairs bedroom he shared with Ray – they weren’t together at this point. He watched her with curious eyes as she approached him; her eyes were sultry and told him that she was seeing him differently tonight. He had gulped hard when she sank down to her knees before him, parting his thighs and shuffling in closer to him. Their eyes collided in a smouldering gaze as her hands went to his crotch and worked the button open and slid the zipper down. He hardened instantly when she removed him from the confines of his underwear, and the next thing he knew she took him in her mouth.

Mikey blinked away the memory hurriedly until his mind was back in the present. His eyes met with Lauren’s just like they had back then, but this time that sultry look wasn’t there. She looked away quickly and refocussed herself on his wounds. Had she remembered, too?

It was only a matter of seconds before another memory came to his mind; the night she’d attended to his burn during the war. Her hands were as soft on his skin now as they were back then, and just as she had been then, she was angry with him now, too. The thought occurred to him then that no matter what they were going through she would always take the time to care for him, even when he didn’t deserve it. Being a doctor was the perfect profession for her, but had she even become that with the pressures that motherhood had so obviously put upon her? He needed to know.

“Did you ever get your degree?” he asked into the silence.

Her eyes met his again and he knew immediately that she hadn’t. “No. It’s a bit hard when you have a son to care for on your own. Since he was born he’s always been my first priority.”

“Tell me about your life, Lauren,” he asked after a momentary silence. “The last five years – I want to know it all, starting right from the moment you got out of my bed.”

The look she sent him showed that she was reluctant, he was sure she’d dismiss his request, but the next word she said told him that he would know everything. He couldn’t believe she’d said it, but she had.

“Okay.”