I Can't Be Happy Without You Around

“How about this?” Jenn asked picking up a very revealing outfit.

“Jenn it’s a party,” I informed her. We were shopping for my outfit to wear on my 18th birthday. I was having a huge party.

“Yeah, but this is for the after party,” she said wriggling her eyebrows. I laughed.

“Lets sit I’m tired,” I mumbled walked over to a bench in the store. She slowly followed. She loved shopping.

“So have you heard anything from your dad?” she asked comfortingly. I shook my head.

“He’s going to get you something for your birthday,” Jenn said.

“I haven’t seen him in two years I doubt he even cares anymore,’ I said standing up. I would much rather walk around this whole store fifty more times than have this conversation.

“Ok I get the hint sorry,” she said standing up to. I shrugged not really knowing what else to do. “Come on we still have to find you a sexy birthday outfit.”

I dropped Jenn off at her house and began driving, but I had no idea where. I drove around for what seemed like hours until I finally came to a stop. I couldn’t explain why I drove here.

I stepped out of the car and walked over to the huge gate. I opened it quietly as a hug gust of wind came. I shivered. I always hated being here, it was so sad. I looked out at all the graves knowing exactly which one I wanted to see.

I walked over sitting down on the floor next to a familiar grave. I traced my fingers along the letters that read ‘Alex Sanders’ It creeped me out that it was the same name as me. I sat starring at it for a long time before I finally spoke.

“Hey mom,” I whispered. I felt weird talking to a grave, but there were just something’s I wanted to say. “I’m sorry about what happened, I wish I had gotten a chance to meet you,” I said. “I love you though, from what dad says your were pretty great.”

I began thinking about the past.

** 7 years ago**

“Daddy why are we here?” I asked holding my dad’s hand as we walked through the graveyard.

“Because sweetie were here to see mommy,” he answered directing me over to the grave. In his other hand were lily’s my moms favorite flower.

He crouched down placing the flowers on the grave. He starred at it for a long time. I sat there confused at everything.

“How come I never got to meet her?” I asked. Dad looked over my way and I gasped seeing his face was wet. I placed my hand on his face kissing him on the cheek. “Why are you sad?”

“I miss mommy,” he answered pulling me into a hug. “So much.”

“Me too,” I answered looking at him as he pulled away.

“She would have loved you,” he said placing his hand on my shoulder. I nodded.

“What was she like?” I asked innocently.

“Sweet, loving, cool, amazing, wonderful, beautiful” he paused looking at me. “Just like you.”

“Daddy,” I said giving him another hug.

“I love you both so much.”

**present time**

I remembered that day and before I knew it AI was sobbing.

“Why did you have to leave?” I asked suddenly. “Why, why did you have to go, you ruined dads life, and I tired mom I did, but I couldn’t be you, I couldn’t replace you,” I sobbed and yelled all at the same time.

“I know he comes to see you a lot, and I never do, I’m just not a good daughter, I never have been, you shouldn’t have died not for me.” I ran up not being able to take this anymore. I ran as fast as I could out of the graveyard yanking the car door opened and jumping in.

I started it as fast I could and quickly pulled out driving away. I took a breath once I pulled up to Zacky and my house.

The most loneliest day of my life.

I sighed the only thing that was keeping me from just driving away right then and there and never coming back was Zacky. I slowly got out of the car and walked over to the door. I knocked since I had forgotten my key.

I watched the door opened, and the second I saw him I flung myself into his arms.

“Baby what’s wrong?” he asked pulling away and seeing my tear stricken face.

“Nothing as long as I’m with you.”