Breaking Hearts and Breaking Bones Has Never Been So Romantic

The waves that had once brought me comfort and relaxation now served as nothing but a nuisance filled distraction as I tried to clear my mind of everything that had happened within the past week and a half. I sighed miserably and rolled over on the hammock, turning my gaze to the beige colored sand beneath me.
 
"Angie, sweetheart." I heard my mom's voice calling for me. "Angela?"
 
"Over here, mom." I replied, not bothering to raise my head.
 
A strong breeze blew through the area, causing me to swing slightly in its wake. The air caressed my bare skin and I closed my eyes in an attempt to ignore the fact that I wanted it to be Gabe's hands caressing my skin instead.
 
A few seconds later my mom's bare feet came into my view. "Sweetheart, it's your brother." She said gently.
 
"I don't want to talk to him." I mumbled.
 
"Angela, he's worried about you." My mom said. "Talk to him."
 
"No."
 
"Talk to him, Angela." She demanded in her motherly tone that I had always been afraid of.
 
Reluctantly, I reached out and took the cordless phone from her. Sighing heavily, I rolled over and held the phone to my ear. Although I didn't say anything, my brother knew that I was there.
 
“Angie?” Alex asked hesitantly.
 
“Hey brother.” I whispered softly.
 
"How are you?" He questioned. "I've been worried about you."
 
"I don't know." I muttered quietly. "I'm past the part where I sit and cry around, feeling sorry for myself. Right now I'm just," I paused momentarily as I looked out across the ocean, "trying to figure out where to go from here."
 
"Well … you're going to keep the baby right?" Alex asked. "I mean, you wouldn't even consider getting an abortion would you?"
 
I remained silent at my brother's question, unsure as to how to answer it. My silence, however, seemed to be loud enough and Alex let out a small gasp.
 
"Angela May Suarez," he whispered, "are you really considering it?"
 
"I can't raise a child by myself, Alex." I mumbled.
 
"You won't be by yourself, I'll be here, and Victoria, and Ryland." Alex assured me. "And Nate I suppose. He may be hesitant when it comes to kids, but I'm sure he'll be willing to help out and baby sit from time to time. Please, Angie, don't get an abortion."
 
Hearing the desperation in my older brother's voice was enough to bring tears of heartache and confusion to my eyes. All my life my brother has been the strong one, the one looking out for me. He was the one acting tough in the stressful situations, the one who took charge when I didn't have a single clue as to how to go about things. Hearing the weakness in his voice during a time where I felt more lost than ever before made me feel as if there were no painless way out of this.
 
If I were to carry through with the pregnancy and raise our child on my own, I would more than likely be struggling to make ends meet. My income was modest enough to support myself and the occasional splurge here and there, but it was no where near enough to support a child, another human being who had all the same needs that I did.
 
If I were to carry through with the pregnancy and say, give our child up for adoption, I would spend the rest of my life wondering if they had taken after me or taken after Gabe. Would they have his temper and witty attitude? Or would they have my sweet tooth and soft spot for animals?
 
If I were to carry through with an abortion …
 
"I'm not deciding anything yet." I finally said. "I'm still trying to make sense of things."
 
"I know," Alex muttered, "but still … " he trailed off, mumbling a few incoherent words under his breath.
 
"Anyway," I sighed. "What have you been up to?"
 
"You mean besides worrying about my baby sister?" He asked in a mildly sarcastic tone.
 
"Yes, besides that."
 
"Nothing." Alex replied. "Just … hanging out I guess."
 
"Oh." Before I could stop myself, I asked, "what's Gabe been doing?"
 
"Gabe?" Alex repeated. "Umm … nothing really." He said slowly.
 
Taking my brother's tone into consideration, I came to the conclusion that there was something more to his reply. "What'd he do?" I questioned.
 
"He didn't do anything." Alex muttered. "Don't worry about him."
 
A nerve twitched in my gut and somehow I knew what it was that my brother wasn't telling me.
 
"Gabe's been with other girls, hasn't he?"
 
"Angie, I didn't what you to find this stuff out." Alex said sadly.
 
"No, its better that I know." I said. "I mean, if I come back its better to know what had gone on while I was away, right?"
 
"If … you come back?" My brother repeated. "What do you mean 'if'?"
 
"Exactly what it sounds like, Alex. If I come back. I may just decide to stay down here in Florida."
 
"But … you can't, Angie." Alex protested. "You need to be in New York … with us."
 
"I don't know, brother." I sighed. "Like I said, I'm still figuring things out."
 
"Angela – "

"You know what, I gotta go Alex." I lied. "Mom wants me to help her with a few things."
 
"I – "
 
"I'll call you later, Alex." I said, cutting him off. "Love you, bye."
 
Without waiting for a response, I turned off the phone, ending the call. Staring at the piece of technology in my hand, I didn't realize that my mom was standing close by, watching me.
 
"You can't stay here forever, Angela." She said softly, catching my attention. "I mean, you're welcome to, but your brother needs you. You guys have never lived in different towns, let alone different states. He wouldn't know what to do without having you within driving distance."
 
"Gabe's been sleeping around." I mumbled. "Even before we met he never did that sort of thing."
 
"Maybe it's a way to cope with how much he's hurting." My mom suggested.
 
"He's the one who said we're over." I mumbled. "He's the one not answering his phone. He's the one being immature about this whole thing."
 
"By pointing out how immature he's being, you're only proving you're just as immature."
 
"Whatever." I mumbled.
 
"Maybe you should try calling him again, you never know, maybe he just wasn’t ready to talk to you yet."
 
"Well he can be the one to call whenever he's ready to talk." I snapped.
 
"Angela, don't be stubborn." My mom said softly. "That's the very same trait that had cost your father and mine's marriage."
 
Without waiting to see if her remark had elicited a response, my mom stood up and slowly made her way into the house. Sighing heavily, I looked back down at the phone still clasped tightly in my hand and contemplated my next move.