My Constant Companion

Home was where I wanted to be. Away from all this madness. I couldn't shake what had just happened. How they had beaten Shannon like he was nothing, and thrown him around like a rag doll. How could someone who claimed he wanted him back in his life want this to happen to him? And how could my angel even walk, let alone riding this bike like it was any other day was beyond me.

I couldn't shake the images that bastard Jared had shown me even less. Two really stood out. Shannon covered in blood, smiling, and me in the closet as a kid. If these images were from Jared's mind, then he had been in my room when I was a child. That thought was scary as all hell. I remembered that day well. It wasn't something I wanted to think about.

I couldn't stop shivering. Shannon must have felt it because he yelled back to me.“I won't let him hurt you.” I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, but he winced. Oh no. He might have broken his ribs or something. I let go a little, “It's okay.” he spoke in my head. “Hold me tighter.”

“Can you hear me?” I asked him with my own mind, alarmed.

“Yes.” he said in my head.

“Oh, my god.” I said again in my mind, startled. This was unbelievable.

“Nikka, you need to hold me tighter or you might slip off.” he spoke that out loud.

I hadn't even noticed but I had let go more than I needed to. I put my arms quickly around him again, and breathing in the sweet scent of my angel, honey and outdoors, calmed me. But only a fraction because then I smelled blood.

“Pull over.” I yelled.

I felt violently ill again. Shannon was quick and we were on the side of the road, under an overpass, in no time. I hopped off and threw my helmet down. I went to my knees and began vomiting but there was nothing left inside me, so it came out as dry heaves. My breathing was heavy and my heart as pounding.

Shannon pulled me to my feet. “Nikka?” he said, brushing my wild hair from my face.

“What did he do to me?” I asked, panicked, looking up at his rugged face.

He looked around us, his eyes hard. “We need to go somewhere else.” I made no move to leave. “Please, Nikka.” he pleaded. “Somewhere safe.”

I got on the back of the bike. We drove on, not too fast and not towards my home. I wasn't sure where we were headed. Shannon was tense, I could feel it in his muscles. This night hadn't gone how either of us had expected it to. When we stopped ten minutes later we were in a wooded park. We got off the bike, Shannon took my hand and led me through the trees.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked nervously. He didn't answer, just kept dragging me along, both of us limping slightly. We stopped. I looked around at the trees that surrounded us and it clicked. “I've been here before,” I whispered as I remembered. “In my dream.” The dream in which I saw his wings for the first time. Or rather what they used to look like when he had them.

“Yeah.” Shannon said.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“Privacy.” he walked away from me a little bit and leaned against a tree. I could tell how much pain he was in although he was determined not to show it on his face. “Ask your questions.”

“Shannon, I need to see how injured you are.” I made to walk over but he held up his hand.

“I'm fine, Nikka.” he insisted. “I'm running on adrenaline.”

I sighed, wrapped my arms around myself and asked, “What did Jared do to me?” I was still feeling ill.

“He took you on a mind trip.”

“Come again?” I asked, confused, shuddering.

“He took you inside his mind. It has nasty effects if you do it the way he chose to.” That explained all the nausea. “What did he make you see?”

I walked closer to him, made him actually look at me, since he had been avoiding it one his eyes met mine I told him about what I had seen. And even though I was reluctant to mention the one about him bloody, I did, but didn't bring up the last image at all.

“When you were covered in blood...” I swallowed, “Was that when you-”

“Killed my mother? No.” he shook his head sadly. “That was something else.” He looked down. So why had he been covered in blood? Did I want to know? “I didn't kill my mother in cold blood. I did it because I had to.”

I swallowed hard and nervously asked, “Why did you have to?”

He sighed heavily, “She was crazy. Truly insane. I loved her more than life itself, but she had it coming. If not by my hands then by someone else. I'd rather it had been me. She... did some things.” He stopped talking. His mother had been crazy. And he had to kill her. Oh, god.

“How long ago did that happen?”

“Decades before you were born.” I grew silent and minutes passed while my mind raced. He killed her because she was crazy. That didn't seem like reason enough. Shannon pushed himself away from the tree, moved closer and took my hand, rubbing his thumb along my skin. “Nikka? Say something.”

“Do you miss her?”

I don't know why I asked that and I was surprised when he answered, “Yes. But it's been a long time.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No.”

“And your father hates you?”

“Yes.” I can imagine why.

“He and Jared are working together.” I guess.

“Something like that.”

“Who's Mary?” I whispered.

He wouldn't answer for a few minutes, he let my hand go and paced back and forth. The night was growing colder and I was ready to go home.“She was someone special. But I can't talk about her now.” The softness in his voice touched my heart. He must have loved her, whomever she was.

I knew not to push the subject further. The fact that he was talking at all was a miracle. A strong wind whipped through the trees, leaves fell down upon us. “You can speak in my head.” he looked at me but didn't speak. “Can all of you do that? And the mind trip thing?”

Shannon shook his head. “No. We're kind of special, Jared, me, my family. Although mind tripping is a bit more common, but dangerous. You can only fuck with someones mind so much before...” he paused, “But mind-speak, that's just something from our bloodline.” he touched my arm, “I never wanted to try it on you unless absolutely necessary.”

“It's so weird.”

“Yeah. It can be a little...” he made a face, “unsettling at first.”

“But wicked cool.” I admitted.

He chuckled, “I suppose so.”

“Is the mind tripping thing what you do when you were in my dreams?”

“A version of it yes. Remember when I told you a sleeping mind was more susceptible to enter than an awake one.” I nodded, “Now you can see why. Are you sure you're okay?” he asked.

I frowned. “Stop asking me that.” He grinned, looking more like himself.

“You're stubborn as fuck.”

“You're one to talk.” He was still grinning.

“The language you spoke earlier-”

“My native tongue.” he told me quickly. “I learned English a long time ago.”

I nodded my head. “Were you two talking about your mother?”

“Among other things.” he said bitterly, his smile fading.

“Do you think Jared was for real about you getting your wings back.”

“No.”

“Is it possible though.”

“Yes. At a cost. And from what I hear painful.”

More painful than getting them losing them, I wondered. “So others have tried it?”

“It's a rumour, but I can imagine how difficult it must be to grow wings again.”

“Would you try it, if you could?”

He didn't answer and we grew quiet, the insects chirping and the wind rustling the only sounds.

An image popped in my head. “How did Jared get your feather?” I asked while my mind, which I was surprised was working so well right now, was on it.

I had assumed Jared was the one who had left the feather behind on the morning he had been at my place. I knew it had been Shannon's, every time I touched it I get the same energy from it that I get when he touched me. But I couldn't figure out why his brother had left it behind or how he had had the feather in the first place.

Shannon laughed bitterly. “He was there when they took my wings.”

Of course. It didn't even surprise me. He had probably partook in the cruel act as well.

“He wanted to keep a souvenir.” Shannon added. I knew there wasn't much more I was going to get out of him about it. “I don't know how you're feeling about all of this, and if you ever want me to go, I will. I've only ever wanted to protect you. I never should have let you get involved in this.”

“But I wanted to.”

“Yeah, and if you would have gotten even more hurt I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.” he looked me in the eye again, “Tell what you're feeling.”

“I don't know.” I said, honestly. “I just don't.”

“Are you scared?” I looked at him and hesitantly nodded my head. “Good. Fear is good. Fear is smart.”
If fear was smart then I was Einstein. “Are you afraid of me?” he asked, his voice small.

“No. Never.” I whispered.

Yes I was afraid, but I wasn't afraid of him, despite everything I had found out tonight, knowing there was more just waiting around the corner. Shannon had loved a long, long life, there was bound to be plenty more skeletons in his closet.

“Never you, Shan.”

“You might be tomorrow.” I shook my head fiercely but I had been thinking something similar. What if I had different feelings tomorrow. Could I turn my back on him?

Shannon cautiously stepped closer and wrapped his strong arms around me and I embraced him. My Shannon. My sad, broken, hurting angel.

“I love you.” he said softly, suddenly. I looked up at him, surprised. I was speechless Did he just say he loved me? He looked down at me, only softness and warmth in his eyes now. “I've loved you for a long time, doll.” he pulled me to him tighter, not daring to let me go. I didn't know how to process this.

After a minute I whispered, “I was so worried about you. I thought... I thought.” my voice broke. I couldn't finish.

“I know, doll,.” Shannon said, his lips against my forehead, “I know. Let me get you home.”



We pulled into the garage of my apartment building a half hour later, both tired, aching and sore. Shannon parked next to my car. He got off the bike and I pulled the helmet from my head, my arms sagged at my sides. I was crying again. Shannon pulled me to him, kissed my cheeks, kissing the tears away, apologizing every time his lips met my skin.

“Lets just go inside.” I whispered, feeling as if all my energy was spent.

Shannon nodded and we made our way upstairs. My knee was killing me, and I limped when I walked but my injuries were nothing next to his. One of my neighbors gave us a strange look as we made it down the hallway to my apartment. I can only imagine what he was thinking.

Once inside we went straight to the bathroom. I stripped down and in this light I could see the state of us.

I had Shannon's blood on my clothes and some had bled through my shirt and had dried on my skin. My elbow was swelling as was my knee, both bruising as well. My face was dirty, my hair wild, my eye make up, what was left of it that is, was smeared. My pants too were torn and my shoes had droplets of blood staining them.

But Shannon of course was worse. His face, neck and arms, despite my cleanup at the bar, had dried blood on them. Bruises were already forming on his skin, and a few huge cuts, bumps, and gashes were visible as well. When he took of his shirt I saw that he had indeed broken several ribs on his left side and his shoulder had a large lump on it. But he assured me it would all healed soon. His lip was already well on it's way to closing up and his eye was already less swollen. Amazing. His jacket was ruined beyond repair, his pants had several large tears and his shirt was bloody and ripped.

We looked like we had been in a bar brawl, which, well, we had.

I hopped in the shower but Shannon didn't join me, opting to go in after me. A part of me was hurt by it, the other part of me knew he was just trying to give me some space, time. And After he finished and was dry I sat down on the edge of the tub with him, wearing one of his tee's that he had left over, it smelled like him.

He touched my arm cautiously. I leaned into his body, his bare skin was warm. I shut my eyes as I thought it all over, my mind reeling, but must have fell asleep because when they opened again we were on the floor and I was on Shannon's lap, my head resting on his good shoulder.

“Do you want to talk some more?” he asked softly.

I shook my head. “Tomorrow. Now, I just want to sleep.” I knew there was way more we needed to discuss, more questions to ask but I couldn't get my thoughts in working order right now, and I was dog tired now. “I've got work tomorrow. And you need to rest.” I felt beat and I could look at his face and tell he was more than tired, he felt defeated.

He looked at me, his eyes dark, studying my face. “Do you want me to stay?”

I looked into my tortured angels hazel eyes. So full of sincerity, and heartache, and love, and pain that my heart was breaking for him. I want to have him near me, to comfort him, to heal his wounds, especially tonight.

And I was scared to be alone. And I got the feeling so was he.

As an answer I stood, took his hand and we went to bed. But of course I couldn't sleep. Neither could he. “Sleep, doll.” Shannon whispered in the darkness as he lied next to me.

I turned until I was on my side, facing him. “How many people have you killed?” I knew I might regret having asked but I couldn't help it.

It took him a minute to answer. “Dozens.”

I swallowed hard. Dozens? It seemed like the answer I knew he'd give.

“It's not something I ever really talk about.” he said, explaining, “And it's not something I take lightly. I did what I had to do to survive. It may not be a good enough reason, and I'm not going to justify it with lies.” then he swiftly pulled me to him until my head was resting on his bare chest and stroked my hair. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

“That I might be too tired to process all of this.” He didn't respond. “And you're hurt, I shouldn't be ly-”

He cut me off. “You're like my medicine. You're healing me.” his strong arm tightened around me, “I don't feel that much pain, doll. Stop worrying. Rest your head on me” I made sure not to put my weight on him, but kept close.

After seeing what he went through how could I not worry. “Those men... the twins. How were they so strong?”

“Their angels. We're all strong.”

“But they-”

“They're much stronger than me, yeah, and very dangerous. That's why Jared keeps them around.”

“Does he ever do his own fighting?”

“Not in along time he hasn't.”

“You've been a lot of fights, haven't you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“With Jared?”

“Yes.” he said but with a hint of glee. He must have won most of those fights.

“I think Jared was in my room when I was a kid.” His body went rigid.

“Nikka, what do you mean?” he sounded alarmed, “Do you remember something?”

“No, but...”I told him about the last image his brother had shown me. It was an unsettling thought knowing Jared had been so near and I hadn't known it. “Had you know about that?”

“No.” his voice was low and dark and I knew by the way he tensed up he was ready to kill him. “It must have been before I came into your life. Or some time I hadn't been around.”

“But why had he been there in the first place? Why me?” I didn't get it.

“I'm not sure.”

“You said he doesn't like humans.”

“He doesn't.”

I thought of Ivy. How was I going to convince her to leave him alone? “Shannon why did you come to me.” I caressed his bare chest. I could feel the fresh scars, they were already healing, and the old ones. “Of all the places to be in the world, you chose to be with me. Years of my life you've been around. Why?” I wasn't anything special.

“I followed my heart, doll.” he said sincerely. “I don't know how else to explain it.” And I didn't know what to say about that.

“Why haven't you killed him?” I hadn't meant to say it out loud.

He muttered, “It isn't for lack of trying.” stroking my unruly hair.

“And because he's your brother.” I said because I knew that despite everything they had been though he still loved him.

He didn't say a word for another minute.“Shut your eyes, Nikka.” I felt tears fill my eyes again, we didn't speak again, he just continued stroking my hair slowly until I somehow found sleep. I had the feeling tomorrow was going to be another rough day.



I could hear her talking downstairs. Talking to whom, I didn't know, because I assumed we were alone in the house. I lied on the floor, my eyes towards the tiny stars on my ceiling. The afternoon sun was shinning in the window and I wanted to go outside and play.

Her voice got louder then soft again. She sounded both afraid and angry. Maybe she was on the phone. Yeah, that sounded right.

I went to my closet and grabbed my play shoes. I put them on and walked to the top of the stairs and stopped cold. She stood there, looking at me, a strange look on her face, her hands behind her back.

“Where do you think you're going?” she asked me.

“Outside to play.” I answered, my voice small.

“You've got no one to play with.” she said, her voice odd.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked. I felt scared suddenly.

“Why do you care? You don't care about me. They told me so.”

I frowned. “Who? Who told you that? I do. I do so love you.”

“No you don't.” Then she showed me what was in her right hand. “I will right the wrong.” she snarled, the butcher knife shining as the light hit the blade.

I backed up a step, my eyes wide, fear rising in my gut. What was she doing? She took one step up and I ran.

The bathroom was the nearest. I bolted inside and slammed the door shut, locking it. I could hear her yelling incoherent words as she ran to the door. She bagged on it loudly and I heard the knife scrap across the wood. I went to the tub and began removing the screen from the window. Tears in my eyes, I cried out for her to stop, for her to leave me alone. But she wouldn't listen.

“You little bitch!” she shouted. “I will kill you! I will right the wrong!”

She was trying to get the knob to turn. I got the screen off and looked down. Oh, god. There was nowhere to land. If I jumped to the ground below I would break a lot of bones. But if I stayed...

“Open the fucking door!” she bellowed as the knife came under the bottom of the door. Tears steamed down my face as I screamed. “Open-”

The knife disappeared.

“Who are you?” She yelled. “Leave! Leave you beast! Leave!... Aah! Stop!” I heard a loud thud then her shouting stopped.

I stared at the door for a long while and nothing happened. Then the knob jiggled again. I screamed and nearly launched myself out of that second story window.

I woke up screaming.