My Constant Companion

“Will you tell me about your dream?” Shannon asked as we pulled out of the garage.

“Why?” I frowned at him.

“Was it about me, or Jared?”

“No.”

“Your childhood?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“You aren't afraid of much. I knew it had to be something related to real life to have you upset like that.”

“So what if it was?”

“I just needed to know. And now I do.”

“I didn't say it had a damn thing to do with my childhood.”

“So you're telling me it was some random dream? It wouldn't have shook you up like that.”

I sighed and didn't speak for another minute or two. “I think when Jared went in my mind he unlocked something I hadn't remembered for a long time, not thought about actually.”

“I figured as much.”

“Does that mean he can get into my head better?”

“I don't think so.” I stared a head and Shannon touched my hand. “Try not to let it get to you.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He asked where I had been coming from and asked if I spoke to Ivy, and since there was no point in lying I told him I had. I left out seeing Micheal, or that dark haired guy who gave me the creeps. We both grew quiet while I gathered my thoughts. We drove and drove then for some reason I blurted out. “Are you're going back to your home? Leaving?”

He looked hard at me. “Now, what would give you that idea?”

“I just thought you might want to try and get your wings back. See your family.”

As I said it I realized how ridiculous it sounded after everything he had told me about his family. They hated him. But I thought maybe, just maybe, he would find the offer to get his wings back tempting enough for him to risk going back. I knew he missed them, missed being whole.

“I just never understood why you would want to stay with me. In this dull world. Why me?”

He looked hard at me.“Why not you?”

“I'm just a girl. A mortal girl.”

“You are more than just a mortal girl and you know it. I have live a long life, doll, a long life. I have seen many great and many terrible things, and this so-called dull world is alive, and vibrant, and brilliant. I want to be here, I have loved being here even before I was exiled. And I meant it when I said this is my home.”

He went silent before saying, “There are things I have never spoken about aloud. Things I've buried away for decades. It begins to eat away at you until you're nothing but a shell of what you once were.” he looked at me to see if I understood. I did. “Then a ray of light comes along. And that ray begins to burn brighter and brighter. Starlight in the blackness of your life.” he smiled. “You're my starlight, doll.”

My heart leaped in my chest. He thought I was his starlight. I smiled. “But I was a child, Shan.” I whispered softly, “How could I have impacted you so much?”

“You gave me purpose.” he said simply. “And that was enough.”

I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek. Shannon reached over and used his thumb to wipe it away. “You were so lonely. So fragile. I just wanted to help you.”

“So what you said before, about protecting me from your kind, the ones I can see even when their veiled, was that a lie?”

We pulled into a spot on top of a hill that over looked the city. It was a magnificent view, especially with the sun ahead of us in position to set. It was isolated up here, lots of privacy.

“No.” Shannon said turning the engine off. “It just wasn't my only reason for wanting to stay in your life. But it was important.”

“I still don't understand it.” I turned in my seat to face him better. “Why would they hurt me?”

“People of all kinds fear what they do not understand. It goes both ways. A lot of my kind can not understand humans. They see them as weak. But when someone like you sees us, I mean really sees us, unveiled, wings and all, well you can imagine what that might do to persons psyche. Imagine suddenly seeing actual angels, demons, things you thought were imaginary.”

“But I never saw them that way, never knew what they were.”

“Even so they knew you might eventually. They might slip up and let some part of themselves be revealed.”

“So some take action against humans like me before that happens.”

“Yes.”

“So even though I had no clue, they could have killed me if they thought I might expose them, start screaming about winged creatures.”

“Exactly. And you had so much pain in your life already. I just wanted to ease a bit of it.”

“How come I can see them?”

“You're special.”

“That's not an answer.”

“That's the only one I have.”

I said nothing for a minute. “Jared had said that hard times were coming. What did he mean by that?”

“Jared being dramatic.”Shannon said, pretending to dismiss it, but I knew he was thinking it over.

“Shannon I'm scared.” I said it before I could stop myself. He pulled me to him. “I just need you to be honest with me.”

He sighed. “For once I'm taking my brothers advice. He was right, Nikka, you deserve the truth.” Shannon cupped my face with both hands and kissed me slowly, deepening, intensifying the innocent kiss until we were both panting for air once it was done. “There is something I want to show you.” he said, “But you'll have to go into my mind to see it.”

I got nervous. “Into your mind?”

“Yes. Like in dreams, just you'll be awake.” I thought about the mind trip Jared took me on and shuttered. “It won't be like that.”he told me picking up on my feelings... or thoughts.

“Couldn't you just tell me?”

“Yes, but it wouldn't be the same. And I'm not the best story teller.” he looked steadily into my eyes. “You said you want the truth, so I'm going to give it to you, unfiltered, unaltered, raw and real.”

I had asked for it but was I ready for this? Only one way to find out.

“Are you ready?” he asked, determination and apprehension in his eyes. I nodded my head and he moved his finger up until they were hovering by my temples. “Close your eyes and try to relax.”

“Would it be better if I slept?” I asked.

He shook his head. “You can control it better this way. If we did it as a dream it might feel unpredictable like a nightmare and you'd wake up frightened. You'll be more aware of what's happening and pull yourself free if you need to.”

Oh god, what was he about to show me? I nodded and with a deep breath I shut my eyes. I felt him hesitate before he placed two of his fingers on either side of my head.
Instantly I was swept away.

I stood in a forest of deep green surrounded by many trees. The sun was barely peaking through the trees, leaving it a bit more shaded than I liked. I felt myself moving forward as if being pushed. I wound my way through the trees and saw angels. About fifteen of them. Shirtless, their wings out, some carrying weapons, like whips and swords, and they seemed to be moving in on something, or rather someone. Shannon.

He stood bare chested, magnificent wings spread out, ready to take flight, with fire in his hazel eyes as he watched the angels who were now forming a circle around him. I made my way closer until I stood a foot in front of him, but of course he couldn't see me. I didn't exist. I had nearly forgotten I wasn't really here, not physically at least.

His face and body were dirty, his jeans were covered in mud and grass stains and something dark that could have been blood. Yup it was blood. He had a gash on the back of his head and the blood had ran and dried on the back of his neck and ear. He had all those familiar cuts as well but they were new and bleeding. His wings were dirty as well. He held a large knife in his right hand and he looked worse for wear, he knew this was it, but he did not look defeated, never that, not my Shannon, if anything he looked defiant and dangerous.

The other angels didn't look all that great themselves, they bore bruises and cuts themselves, one of them even had a broken wing, it hung at an odd angle. I supposed the Dark Angel had given then a run for their money. I felt pride swell in my chest but my heart was pounding. He was surrounded, this wasn't good.

“Shannon,” a deep voice boomed behind me.

I turned around to see an older looking man emerging from the trees. He didn't look like he had been in battle and was the only one who didn't show his wings, but I knew he was an Angel, he had that air about him. And power surrounded him as well.

He had salt and pepper medium length hair, ruggedly handsome, his face was clean shaven and his dark green eyes were hard and fierce. The look on his face was one I had seen on Shannon's so many times. I could see where he had gotten his good looks from. The resemblance was uncanny, same nose, same mouth, nearly the same build and height.

“My son.” Shannon's father said in that same booming voice. “It's over.”

I stepped closer, protectively in front of Shannon who snarled. Then Jared appeared at his fathers side, a bit dirty, folded his wings onto his back and walked through the other angels to get closer to his brother. Their father followed until they were no less than ten feet away from my angel.

“It's over.” their father repeated. “Now, are you going to continue to make this more difficult than it had to be?”

“Yes.” Shannon said with defiance and malice. He wanted to kill him. There was no love in his eyes for either of his kin.

“It will do you no good. And you know it.”

Shannon said nothing but his hazel eyes went to his brothers blue ones. Jared showed no emotion on his face, his body still. Shannon cocked his head suddenly, sharply and I realized he and Jared were having a conversation with their minds and whatever he had said hadn't sat well with his older brother. His wings flapped and every angel tensed save for Jared and their father.

“Brother don't.” Jared spoke softly. “You should never have ran.”

“You never should have chased.” Shannon said, “Was it worth it to follow me all the way here?”

“Yes.” Their father said.

“Then you wasted an exceptional amount of time.”

“Time doesn't matter to us.”

“Right.”

“Adrian.” their father said with a curt little nod.

“You have been charged with five counts of murder and have been found guilt.” one of the Angels to my right said, Adrian, I suppose, looking at Shannon with contempt.

Five? What did he mean by five? Who were the other four?

“Not to mention the shame you brought down on the our family.” The elder angel said, “I never would have dreampt that my son, my son, would become this.” he spat out. “You are a Leto.” he added proudly.

“You didn't care what happened to either of them, Mother or Mary.” Shannon said fiercely, “or me for that matter, and I do not understand why you pretend otherwise. And I didn't kill Mary or any of the others you accused me of killing, and you know it.” There was that name again. Mary. Who was she? “I loved her.” he said softly.

Jared shook his head and said, “And you claimed to love mother and yet...”

“That was different.” he exclaimed. “Isn't that right father?” Their father gave Shannon a disgusted look but kept silent. Shannon went on. “You were going to kill her, weren't you. She betrayed you and that you could not ignore. She had to go. Don't deny it.”

“You're just as delusional as your poor pathetic mother.” their father said. “Sad, really. But you must pay the consequence for your actions.”

“You hated Mary. That's why her death didn't matter to you. And you hate me.”

“Despite everything I still love you, dear boy. You are my flesh and blood.”

“And you still hunt my down like an animal.”

“Because you ran!” he yelled, loosing his cool demeanor.

“You could have let me be!” Shannon bellowed back. “Let me go!”

“That was not an option.” daddy dearest said, regaining his composure.

“Because of your reputation, I suppose. People would start talking if you if you couldn't control your wife, or your son and since she isn't here, I guess I'll be made an example of.”

“Shannon, no one's conspiring against you.” Jared said in an exasperated tone, “You committed-”

“Be. Quiet.” Shannon growled without sparing a glance at his brother, then addressed his father once more, “Did you really need this to bring along this many men to catch me? I'm flattered. So what are you waiting for, let's get this over with.”

The other Angels were ready, weapons in hand, some leaning forward ready to pounce, eager.

The elder angel stepped forward. “Remember you brought this down upon yourself. Only because you are my son your life has been spared. But it shall be a half life, lived in this world and not ours.”

Shannon held his head high. “So be it.”

“You know what's to come?” Shannon said nothing. “And I must disown you. You are no longer a son of mine.”

“And you are no father to me.”

The two of them stared hard at one another. Then he turned his back on his son and said, “Take his wings.”

Someone lashed a whip across Shannon's back but he stood still. Several more lashed and then the knife in Shannon's hand was suddenly in the chest of one of angels closest to him. I backed away and Shannon was immediately ceased, but surprisingly he didn't fight back. He was pinned to the ground, face first, his arms held out to the side and two angels held onto his legs and another put his boot into his lower back.

The Angel he had stabbed was down but not out. He removed the long knife, his chest pouring out a large amount of blood and someone dragged him away from the action. I turned my eyes back to Shannon. Some of them kicked him, some managed a few punches and then more whip lashed which cut into his skin until his back bleed even more.

His wings were the only part of him that moved, flapping furiously, begging to take flight, hitting the other angels whose own wings had disappeared. I fell to the ground in front of him, fear flooded my heart. No, this wasn't happening, even though I knew what was to come had already happened and there was nothing I could do to change that, it still hurt.

Jared, whom I hadn't seen come forward, bent down next to where I was and almost tenderly stroked his brothers hair. “It had to be done.”

“Enjoy the show, baby brother.” Shannon managed to get out even though his face was half in the dirt and he was in pain. “I won't soon forget this.”

“I know you won't.” Jared said bitterly and stood, then walked over to where his father stood by a huge oak tree away from the his son but still close enough to see it all clearly. He, their father, gave a nod and the other angels nodded in turn.

Then they began pulling his wings out.

I never saw defeat in my Angels eyes. But there was pain, lots of pain there. He gritted his teeth together, holding in the screams that I was sure wanted to escape. “Stop!” I yelled to no avail, forgetting no one could hear me.

It was agonizing to watch and I could hardly imagine the pain he was feeling. And they took their time. Ripping his wings apart piece by tiny piece. I ran over to where Jared and his father stood and gave them a piece of my mind.

“You stupid fool! That's your son, your son! And your brother.” I yelled in frustration and heartbreak, “You could stop this madness. I know what he did, I know it was wrong but this... this is... sick.” I looked back at the angel who was going through a pain I could only imagine. I turned back to them. “It would have been better to just kill him, but then where would you all get your kicks.”

I looked back at Shannon again, his eyes were wide and half glazed over, I think he was blocking out the pain but he groaned and grunted. Half his wings were now gone. “Cowards. Too good to get your hands dirt, huh? At least fight your own battles.”

They couldn't hear a damn thing I had said of course but it needed to be said.

I ran back over to Shannon I got down on my knees and touched his cheek. “It's gonna be okay, my love. It will.” I whispered in his ear, tears filling my vision. Shannon shut his eyes finally, unable to take it anymore, his tears ran down into the dirt. I saw thick blood seeping out if his back and he screamed and cried out and writhed and I was alarmed when, after what felt like forever, he grew utterly silent and still.

And they continued to pull and yank and cut and pull. Some even seemed to be enjoying the pain they were causing. Sick bastards. It took so long to finish that it began to grow dark.

Finally, finally it was over.

Feathers, bones and other fleshy pieces of Shannon's wings were scattered around him. The other Angels finally released him but he didn't move. I think he might be unconscious. I stayed where I was, tears falling on him as I protectively kept my hands on his body. His back was bloody and his breathing was shallow. He could die, I thought, and they wouldn't even care.

The other Angels were now giving his a wide birth and Jared and their father stepped forward. Jared bent over and picked up several of the long feathers by his feet.

The elder Leto said, “You have been exiled from our world until a time we deem it fit for you to return.” he looked around him then said, “Come, we head home.”

He and Jared turned their backs on Shannon as he lied there, bleeding and nearly lifeless. “Don't hold your breath.” one of the other Angels said as he passed by. I wanted to punch him.

I watched as all the Angels, one by one, disappeared into thin air. It took me a moment to realized they were going through a huge circle like space. Their world. Jared, with one last long look at his brother, was the last through.

Soon they were all gone the circle was closed leaving only Shannon and I in the very growing darkness of the forest. I wanted to help but couldn't. So I sat with him for an infinite amount of time, pain in my chest as I wait and wait until he woke again and slowly tried to pull himself up. He grunted and gritted his teeth and finally managed to get to his feet only to fall back down again.

“Oh, God,” I whispered, desperate to do something, anything. He was determined though, he kept trying and trying and stumbled over to lean against a tree. His breathing was heavy and strained, his body weak with blood lost. I know Angels were strong but this was too much. He shut his eyes in a long blink. “Come on, baby, you can do it.” I murmured to him.

Almost as if he could hear me he gritted his teeth and with a yell he pushed himself away from the tree and began staggering as he walking away. But he didn't get far before he fell onto his back and cried out in agony. A chilling, blood curdling scream that shook the trees, bird took flight out of the trees. But he didn't give up he got back on his feet, dirt and blood on his back, fell down, got back up, over and over all the while blood pored out of the two deep gashes on his back.

I heard someone coming. I looked all around me, so afraid one of the angels had stayed behind to try and finish him off but instead I saw a thin man coming through the trees. Wearing black form head to toe, his long dark hair was being swept up by the wind. Shannon saw him too and slumped against a tree.

“Oh no.” The man said. “Shannon.” Shannon has slid down to the foot to the tree, “Stay with me. “I'll get you home.” he pulled the angels arm over his shoulder and hauled him up.

“I have no home.” Shannon murmured as they began moving.

“Shut up. Now is not the time for melodrama.” the man said and I caught a good look at his face. I knew his face, but...

I was suddenly gasping for air, my eyes shot open and found myself back in reality. It was a shock to see sunlight after such darkness and to see Shannon, not bloody and broken but my Shannon, whole. I coughed and felt lightheaded. I felt like crying.

“Take a deep breath.” he instructed me. “That's it.”

I grabbed him and wordlessly urged him to move closer. He did and I pulled my arms tightly around him and through his t-shirt I felt his scars. Tears filled my eyes.

“I assume you saw the whole thing.” he murmured into my hair.

“You didn't know what I would see?”

“Mostly, but I wasn't sure how much you saw. How far you went.”

“I saw it all, the whole damn thing.” It had only been minutes in the real world, but I had been there in that memory for hours and hours.

“Breath, doll, breath.” he instructed. I took in slow steady breaths, my lips against his neck, and my heart went back to its normal steady pace. “It can be a lot to handle. Are you alright?”

I pulled back to see him, my hands cupping his face. “That was, horrific.” He said nothing, his face smooth and free of anything. “How could they do that to you? Those bastards.”

“It was the price I had to pay for what I had done.” he said in a robotic dead voice.

“And they watched.” It made me sick. “I need to see more. Show me more.”

“No more tonight.” he said shaking his head, “It's getting late and you're drained.”

I was going to object but I could feel how tired my body felt. I was beat, so tired even though I hadn't done a thing. Plus he looked like he needed some rest himself. I rid my eyes of my tears. “Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.” he promised. "Now I'm taking you home."

We began driving home and I started to think over all I had seen. That was where Jared had gotten the feather although I'm not sure if it was for sympathetic reasons. That was why Shannon said had told him that he remembered all that was said and why he said his father hated him, he did, no doubt about it. But he was brave through it all, my Angel, through the pain and agony he survived. But as he had said he had paid the price for his crimes.

Crimes I didn't understand. Who was Mary? She had died apparently and he had loved her. A wife? Girlfriend? Sister? And who were the others he had been accused of murdering? I didn't have the energy to ask right now. And he might not answer anyway.

And just why would Jared think Shannon would ever want to go back home, to that? It was ridiculous to think he would subject himself to a place like that, even if he were allowed to. And how could Jared think Shannon could ever get his wings back? They were apart of his body, it was like having a limb ripped out. Unbearably painful.

“You should be dead.” I said to him. The sun had set and the street lights were now on.

“I'm too stubborn to die.” he said with a hint of a grin.

“Seriously. How did you survive that?”

“Angels are strong. And I was saved.”

“Yeah about that. That man,” I said lazily. “The one who came to see rescue you. Who is he?”

It took him a minute to answer. “I suppose you could call him my friend. Tomo is his name.”

“I saw him yesterday, and today by the shop. He isn't human. What is he?”

He turned his face to me. “A demon.”