My Constant Companion

“Angels?” I repeated, “Angels?”

He chuckled humourlessly, and stared down at me. “Told you, the truth is stranger than fiction.”

“But... an angel, Shannon?” I couldn't believe it.

“Yes, Nikka. An angel.” he huffed out.

Angel? He was an angel? How could he be an angel?

A tear fell from his eye. I brought my hand up to wipe it away, but he turned away from me before I could. His back was to me again. “When you say angel, you mean...?” I paused. “Wings? Halo? Heaven?”

“Something like that.” he whispered. Then he looked over his shoulder at me. The storm outside was picking up. “I'm not from this world. Another species entirely.” Clearly.

“I though angels were supposed to be... I dunno, good and wholesome.” I blushed as I thought about how naughty Shannon tended to be.

He scoffed. “I am good, doll.” he grunted seductively. I knew what he meant by good.

“Yeah. Um, sure.”

I stared at his scarred up back, a thousand thought racing through my brain. Lightning struck and the sky brightened, then the lights blinked off for a second. With one more hard look at me, he turned his attention back to the window. The lights flickered again then went out completely. I swallowed hard and stared at Shannon, the moon giving the only light in the now dark apartment, the streetlights had gone out as well. I cautiously got closer to him, until our arms touched as we stood side by side, the rain the only sound we could hear. I stared outside.

“Why didn't you tell me this before?”

“It wasn't important.”

I scoffed, “Yes it was. It's who you are Shannon. How could it not be important?” my eyes went up to his face.

He just stared out of the window as the lightening continued to dance across the sky, the rain plastered the window in sheets, thunder rolled. “Would you had trusted me, or better yet, believed me if I had told you from day one?”

I thought that over for a second, but had no answer. If he had told me this before I would have thought he was crazy, or that I was going crazy. “Maybe not.” he snorted. “So, I'm not crazy?” I muttered.

“I had already told you that.” he said coolly. “You don't believe a damn thing I say, do you?”

“You could have told me what you are, then I wouldn't have been thinking I was having some sort of mental breakdown all this time.”

He walked behind me, his arm brushing mine again as he turned. “You would haven't have believed. I needed to earn your trust first.” he sighed, but I didn't turn around, I just looked at the rain hitting the window. “Plus, this isn't something you tell just anyone.” he whispered.

I took a deep breath then turned around and walked over to where he stood, by my closet door. He folded his arms over his chest, looking all tough and muscular, with a pissed off scowl on his beautiful face. “Would you start from the beginning, please?” he said nothing. “Shannon, please, help me understand.” he ignored me. “Angels are real?”

“Didn't your grandmother always tell you they were?” he said as he uncrossed his arms to touch my face once I was close enough.

Yes she had. “How did you know that?”

“Does it matter?”

“Why do you keep saying that? Yes of course it all matters.” I exclaimed loudly. The thunder boomed overhead. “Why are you avoiding my question?”

“I'm not.”

“Bullshit. Tell me something, Shannon. Anything.”

“Fine. Well for starters, I told you I was real all along.” he gave me half smile.

“And you're in my head.” I blurted out as the thought occurred to me.

“And just what makes you say that?” Shannon asked quietly as he peered down at me. His hand now on my collarbone.

“The dreams.” Something was hitting the window. Hail?

He leaned in closer to me. “I may have had a hand in a few of those, but the rest were all you, doll face. You have a very filthy mind.”

“Really?” I asked skeptically. “And which dreams were yours then?”

“The ones you enjoyed most.” he said seductively. His fingertips trailed along my collarbone and down my chest and back up again. My cheeks flush.

I swallowed hard. “So you can get in my head?” Is that how he knew what my grandma had said about angels? Among other things.

“When you're asleep, yes. But I'm not as strong as I used to be when it comes to minds. My ability is a bit stunted as of late.” his fingertips tickled my skin as they moved up my neck and face. His eyes were narrowed.

“That's not comforting.” The sound against the window continued. It had to be hail.

“I didn't say it was.”

“Is that why no one besides me can see you? Because of the mind thing?” It made sense now... sort of.

“Others can see me, if I want to be seen. I told you so already.” He had. “There are many things in this world that human eyes choose not to see.”

“So, I can only see you if you want me too?” That sounded creepy.

“I'm yours, doll. You'll see me for always.” he said it in a way that sent delicious shivers down my spine.

“Meaning?”

He grinned. “I belong to you now.”

I furrowed my brow at him. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” he chuckled. This was a lot to wrap ones head around. He was real, but wasn't human. And I wasn't crazy. At least I hoped I wasn't. “You're not crazy.” I snapped my eyes up to his. Did he just read my mind? “I can read your face doll. You're emotions.” he said as an answer, “All of your feelings dance across your face, I know that look in your eyes. I know you think you're still losing it.” his hand cupped my face. “You're not.”

“And you're an angel.” I said for the umpteenth time tonight.

He gave a frustrated sigh. “Yes, doll. And you're a bit slow tonight, I see. Me Shannon, me angel.” he said in a caveman voice. I ignored that.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You can sometimes be seen, but only if you want to be and you can control my dreams and can sometimes get in my mind while I'm awake.”

“Yup.”

“Are you in my mind now?”

“No. It takes a lot of energy. That's why I really only try it while you're sleep.”

“Because sleeping minds are more susceptible.”

Shannon nodded. “Yes. Exactly.”

“And you sometimes have wings.” I thought of the scars on his back.

“Had.”

“What happened to them?” I asked it all in barely audible whisper.

“They're gone. That's all you need to know.” he said dismissively. “Would you like to sit?” he asked as he pulled me to his still bare chest, and wrap an arm around me.

I shook my head and asked instead, “How old are you?”

I felt him shrug. “Not sure. Time doesn't mean the same for me, as it does for you.”

“Give me a rough estimate.”

“Old enough.” The hail stopped hitting the window, but the rain was still coming down in buckets.

“Okay, you're old... very old.”

“You make that sound bad.” he chuckled, making his chest rumble.

His other hand was now in my hair. “You said you had been punished for what you had become. What did you mean? What had you become?” I suddenly felt cold. Shannon must have felt me shiver, cause his arm tightened around my body.

“Something a little less angelic.” he said darkly, then sighed. “I betrayed someone, for my own personal gain. I was hunted and dealt with.” he said it in a detached sort of way.

“Hunted? I thought angels were supposed to be forgiving and caring and loving and...” I trailed off.

He laughed darkly, “The stories have got it all wrong. They can be vicious sons of bitches.”

“So they took your wings? How?”

“Nikka, the details aren't important. They're gone now.” his voice was growing angrier. I tried to pull back to see his face but he held me tighter. “Please, doll. Just let me hold you.”

I said nothing as I shut my eyes and wrapped my own arms tighter around his waist and felt the scars on his back. They had tortured him. And somehow removed his wings. It must have been painful. No wonder he didn't want to talk about it. He sighed as my fingers brushed the large scars where his wings once were.

“What did they look like?”

He laughed a little, but it sounded watery. Was he crying? “I guess you could say they were beautiful. Big, strong, I could have wrap them around both of our bodies.”

“Were they white?”

“Gray.”

I opened my eyes. “Gray?” Odd.

“Mm-hmm.”

“And you could fly?” I asked, trying to picture it.

“Yes.” he paused, “It was one of the most exhilarating feeling I've ever known.” his voice was sweet. “I miss it.” he added grimly.

“And now you're grounded. Stuck here.”

“Not stuck.”

“How so?”

“I like it here. I want to be here.” I felt something wet fall in my hair. I slowly lifted my head up and saw his face in the darkness, his eyes were the brightest spot.

“Why?”

“I have my reasons.” he whispered as his hand began rubbing my back. “Besides, I can't go back, even if I wanted to.”

“To heaven?”

“It's more like another world, another place, another time. Well not time, time doesn't exist for us.” the thunder boomed suddenly and I jumped. Shan's arms were still wrapped protectively around my body. “Don't ask me about God. I'm as clueless as you are.”

“Uh-huh.” I breathed. “But how can you...?” I trailed off, not able to form the words I wanted to speak. Lightning struck and the sky brightened for a second. He pulled me back and his arms fell away, before walking out of the room. “Shannon?” What had I said?

“I'll be right back.” he called back to me from the darkness. I heard him moving around in the kitchen. I sat down on the bed, bringing my knees to my chest. He was back a minute later, a lit candle in one hand and a box of matches in the other. “I thought you might like a little light, doll.” he said as he sat the candle on the dresser and moved to light the other two candles in my room.

The smell of the match he struck filled my nose, mixing with his scent, which now smelled like the rain. The storm was still going strong outside and I had a thousand different questions brewing in my mind. He picked his shirt up from off the floor and joined me on the bed but I stopped him as he was about to put it back on. I placed my fingers on the cuts on his chest before I climbed behind him and studied his back.

Shannon kept silent as I touched each one, leaving the wing scars for last. I counted them, they amounted to thirty five. Thirty five scars that his own kind had inflicted upon him. My lips touched the wing scar in his left, and kissed from the top to the bottom, then repeated the kissed on the right one. Shannon let out a low moan and grabbed my hands and in his, bringing them to his chest.

“That feels good.” I thought I heard him say. So I did it again, even more slowly this time.

I felt tears in my eyes. “I'm so sorry.” I breathed.

“Don't be, my darling.” he kissed my hands. “Don't be.”

We sat like that for a while, my arms around his chest, my face to his back, my hot tears sliding down his scarred skin. He sighed, then in a quick motion pulled me around until I was straddling him from the front. He pulled my arms around his neck and held me close.

“You make my existence worth while, you know.”

“What?” I questioned as he wiped my tears away.

“You heard me.” he smiled.

I ignored that. What could I have that would make his existence worth while? “Tell me more. I want to know more about the angels. How many are there? If there are angels, then are demons real too? What about vampires? What does your world look like?” I said it all very fast as the questions popped into my mind. He laughed at me. I pulled out of his arms, and stood, walking over to the dresser. “I'm serious Shannon.”

“I know you are, doll. But the night is growing late and you really need to get some rest.”

“I can't rest now. C'mon Shan. Tell me something else. Are their demons?" I really wanted to know the answer.

“You're not going to give up are you?” I shook my head and he got up from the bed and stood in front of me. “It'll only frighten you.”

“I'm not frightened.” I murmured.

Shannon smiled wickedly. “Not yet.” Then before I knew it, he had swept me off of my feet and threw me back onto the bed. He climbed on top of me and his lips found mine. Electricity coursed through my body, one of his hand gripped my thigh roughly. My head swam, as his lips parted mine. I pushed him back, but it did little good. I thought I heard him laugh at my weak effort. He lifted off of me a fraction and peered down at me in the darkness. The candles had somehow all blown out. “What good would it do for you to know more of my past, Nikka?”

“A world of good, Shan.” I said, breathlessly. “A world of good.” his hand was still on my thigh, he had brought it up to his waist, ready to wrap it around his muscular body. His lower half was pressed against my own. I was feeling warm and good all over, and it took all of my control not to pull his lips back to mine, or buck my hips up to his. “Why did you kiss me like that? It's not very angel like.”

“Because I wanted to, doll. Plus, I'm a little less angelic now.”

He smirked and brought his lips back to mine, his five o'clock shadow scratched my face. This time I wrapped one arm around his neck, holding him to me, the other was on his back. His lips tasted sweet, heavenly. I moaned softly, and I heard him grunt as his hips rocked against mine. His other hand was up my shirt, massaging my breast. I sucked and bit his lower lip before my mind told me to stop.

“No.” I breathed. “Stop.” What was I thinking? Shannon obeyed and stopped moving, but didn't move either of his hands away from their positions. “You're not human.”

“And, doll?”

“I dunno.” I slowly peeled my arms off of him. I felt dizzy, as his scent filled the air. The rain outside was dying down.

“We have a bond. A shared link. Can't you feel it?” he said, stroking the bare flesh of my thigh. I could feel something, a lot of things actually, but a shared link wasn't one of them. His lips brushed my neck, making me moan. “I knew you felt it.” he purred out. His breath tickled, so did his facial hair.

What would it hurt if I gave in to Shannon? Sure he wasn't human, and even though I had found out a great deal about him in the past hour then I had all month, there were still more questions to be answered. But they could all wait, right? Tonight, while the lights were out and the storm ragged on, inside there was only him and I. Only his skin against mine. And it all felt too good to pass up.