My Little Star

“Shit!”

I hissed loudly as I ripped the medication patch off the skin on my belly, holding my shirt up with my teeth as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. As soon as the word left my lips I slapped a hand over my mouth, standing still as a statue as I waited for any sound or indication that I had woken anyone up. When I didn’t hear anything I sighed in relief, my fingers gently tracing the square patch of raw skin right next to my belly button.

Perhaps I should explain myself. You see, I had ADHD, asthma, insomnia, anger management problems, a very short attention span, and a very long list of things I was allergic to. I had learned to live with the insomnia and asthma, and normally I would just completely steer clear of all the things I was allergic to but when it came to my ADHD and my anger, things were a little different. I was getting pretty good at pushing my anger away and avoiding doing anything I’d regret, but sometimes just the littlest things would get me so annoyed and I would ignore it, and pretend to be a happy person but eventually it would all catch up to me and I would just explode. Also, my doctor had me on a medication patch for my ADHD. It basically just looked like a square band aid, only it was laced with medicine and hurt like a bitch to get off.

Normally I wouldn’t even bother to wear it because it made me tired and boring; it took away my personality. But since today was my first day at a new school I figured it would be a good idea to wear it, just for today.

Paul and I came inside about a half hour ago, and he had to literally drag me inside, because I refused to tear my eyes away from the sky, despite the fact that my lips were turning blue due to the dropping temperature. We when got inside all the boys were still out cold, and Paul looked like he was just as tired as they were, so I told him that they could all just stay over. Embry did say that they all lived a reasonable distance away, so they could just stop home and then we could all go to school together.

A knock interrupted my thoughts and I jumped, releasing my shirt from between my teeth and pulling it back down before turning away from the mirror and opening the door.

I blinked at Paul as he stood there, shirtless and barefoot with a major bed head and exhausted eyes. Not that I minded the shirtless part. My eyes roamed his body shamelessly, taking in every flawless detail of his chest. I noticed that he had two tattoos; one on his right shoulder, some type of tribal symbol that I noticed on all of the boys and one on the left side of his chest, right over his heart was a name in bold black letters. Hunter. I made a mental note to ask him about that later.

When I was done eye raping Paul, I tore my eyes away from his muscles and focused on his distraught face. He scratched at the back of his neck with one hand, while the other rubbed over his face roughly. “I heard you yell . . .” He started and I immediately felt bad for waking him up. “Is everything okay?”

I panicked. I didn’t want him to know what I was doing in there, because then I’d have to explain my various problems to him and he would think I was a freak. And for some reason, I felt like I needed him to like me, or at least not be freaked out by me. “Uhm . . . You know . . . I just . . . got a paper cut. Yup, I got a paper cut.” I nodded confidently at the end, trying to make it seem like what I just said was actually the truth.

His hand dropped from his neck he stared at me like he thought I should be in a mental hospital. I probably did.

“You got a paper cut?” He asked slowly, as if trying to understand, but at the same time blatantly telling me that he didn’t believe me one bit.

I nodded convincingly, completely aware that I did not have any evidence of said paper cut, and therefore if he asked me to see it I would be screwed.

“You got a paper cut. In the bathroom.” Shit. Why did I say paper cut? By now I was aware that he knew I was bullshitting him, but I would not give up.

“You know . . . toilet paper can be a killer nowadays . . .” I didn’t even know what I was saying.

Paul gave me an incredulous look, before letting out a soft chuckle and shaking his head. “If I wasn’t about to pass out, I would continue interrogating you until you told me the truth, but I am; so I won’t.”

I grinned cheekily at him, happy about my victory. “Then go to bed sleeping beauty.”

He glared at me playfully and messed my hair up before turning and making his way back to the staircase. Before he went downstairs, he turned and gave me a crooked smile that had my knees wobbling.

I stood in the doorway for another minute, staring at the place Paul was just standing, before going back into the bathroom, brushing my teeth, washing off my makeup, and then making my way into my bedroom.

That night, the insomnia hit me full force. I knew it would be one of those nights that I didn’t get any sleep before I even got into bed. I just had that feeling. So, I walked over to my dresser, stripped off my clothes and pulled on a pair of baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt that was too big before draping a blanket over my shoulders and grabbing my iPod. I walked over to my window and pushed it open, letting the cool air hit my face as I climbed out, shutting it behind me and making myself comfortable on the small grey roof that was right above the back porch. It was a perfect spot, right at the perfect angle so that the trees weren’t in the way of the stars. I don’t know how long I sat there, just listening to music and looking at the sky, but after a while the sky went from black to dark blue, and clouds began gathering.

After a few more minutes I decided it was time to go inside. I yanked open my window and climbed in, stretching once my feet hit the soft carpet. Glancing at the clock, I decided I would lie down for a little while considering I still had a few hours before I had to start getting ready for the day.

I dozed in and out countless times, but I was never fully asleep, so when my door opened and the ceiling light flipped on I kept my eyes closed, begging my body to give me even seconds of decent sleep. But of course, as soon as that thought processed in my head, I felt a large heavy weight drop down on my stomach.

My eyes shot open and I grunted, due to the lack of oxygen, and glared at the heavy boy on top of me. I was surprised to see that he actually had a shirt on. “Seth!” I groaned, turning my head to the side and trying to squirm away from him, my hair covering my face in the process.

He chuckled and when I looked up to glare at him his eyes widened and he blinked a few times, staring at me.

I squirmed uncomfortably under his stare, suddenly becoming self-conscious. “What?”

He lifted his hand up and traced his finger under his eyes and immediately I knew why he was staring at me like that. Last night I washed my make up off and since I didn’t have a chance to put any on before he came in and jumpped on me, he could perfectly see the dark purple blotches that resided beneath my eyes.

“Um . . . Yeah,” I mumbled, scratching my head nervously.

Seth’s face turned a shade of pink and he gave me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. I just . . . don’t understand.”

Well I guess there was no way I couldn’t tell him now. “I have insomnia.” I shrugged, playing it off as if it didn’t bother me.

He frowned, still sitting on top of me. “Well, isn’t there something you can do, to make you sleep I mean?”

I shook my head. “I’ve tried everything. I even looked up sleeping methods on Google. Nothing helps. Not even sleeping pills. It’s like my body just doesn’t want to sleep. Ever.”

Seth’s eyebrows scrunched up, not liking what he was hearing.

“But you have to promise not to tell anyone.” I warned him, reaching my arm up and sticking my pinky out to him.

He stared at it for a second before laughing and wrapping his pinky around mine. “I promise. But anyway, you might wanna hurry and get up; I just came up here to warn you.”

“Warn me about what?” I asked cautiously as I took my hand back and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well the other guys went to go get changed and stuff. They said that they would wake you up when they got back. Jared said something about water guns.”

“Oh HELL no. You tell those boys if they come anywhere near me with a water gun I will shove if four feet up their ass.” Seth laughed at my reaction and I rolled my eyes at him. “Now get off of me you cow!” I yelled, pushing him with all my strength until he rolled off of me and landed on the floor with a thud.

He glared at me playfully before standing and sticking his chin up, wiping the imaginary dust off his jeans and turning to make his way to the door.

I laughed, throwing my feet over the side of my bed and just before Seth closed the door I yelled “Hey Seth, I think you left you dignity on the carpet!”

He stuck his arm back in the door and flipped me the bird before shutting it all the way. I laughed despite everything and shook my head, standing up and stretching before beginning my day.

My morning routine consisted of doing my hair, covering up the bags under my eyes with loads of makeup, completely avoiding the small box of medicine patches in the bathroom drawer, dressing in a pair of orange wash skinny jeans, a black tank top, and a baggy orange t-shirt that fell over one of my shoulders and ended at my belly button, reading “Question Authority” In bold black letters. After I shoved my phone and iPod in my jean pockets, I grabbed the leather jacket from my closet that Ryan got me for my last birthday and made my way into the hallway. I walked to my mom’s room, which was across the hall next and to the guest room, pushing the door open gently.

“Mom?” I whispered, seeing a lump under the blankets on the bed after I walked in.

She stirred and after a few seconds, turned her head to face me. When she saw me she smiled sleepily and sat up a bit, patting the spot next to her for me to sit.

I shrugged and did as I was told, crossing the room and sitting on the bed next to her. “Hey momma. When did you get home?”

She glanced around the room until her eyes landed on the clock on the nightstand before she looked back at me, looking like she was still half asleep. “Like . . . two hours ago.”

My eyes widened and I blinked. “Someone had fun, huh?” I smiled coyly, raising my eyebrows up and down suggestively.

She blushed and pushed my shoulder gently, rolling her eyes at me. “It wasn’t like that you turd.” She mumbled.

I laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s the teenager in this relationship?” I teased and she stuck her tongue out at me, rolling her eyes again.

“I’m serious! I went to the store and ran into my friend, Billy. We haven’t talked in years, so he invited me over so we could catch up. He has a son about your age, and he wants the two of you to meet, so we’re going over their tonight to have dinner with them. Be home by four.”

I groaned “Mom, you’re not trying to set me up again are you? Because we both know how well that went last time.” We both cringed at the memory. I promised myself I would never associate myself with someone like him ever again.

“I know honey, and I’m sorry about that but this isn’t like that. Billy just thought that the two of you would get along nicely. You could end up being great friends. Just try, for me okay?” She begged. I knew she really wanted this so I sighed in defeat, rolling my eyes as I nodded, giving in.

She squealed and hugged me. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” I muttered, feeling more and more like the mom as the conversation progressed.

As if she read my mind, my mom gave me a stern look. “Okay. Now it’s my turn to play mom. What’s up with all the shirtless body builders in my living room?”

I rolled my eyes. “They’re just friends momma, we were watching movies and they all fell asleep so I told them they could stay.”

“Alright,” She answered skeptically. “Now go to school.”

I kissed her cheek and gave her a sarcastic smile before leaving the room and making my way down stairs.

I heard the boys before I saw them. Their laughing was coming from the general direction of the kitchen so that’s exactly where I went.

I stood in the doorway and scanned the room. The boys were scattered in various places around the kitchen, either at the table or leaning against the counter, all of them fully clothed and with a backpack nearby. “So my mom thinks you guys are body builders,” I smirked, and because most of them didn’t see me in the first place, their heads snapped in my direction with a mixture of surprise and amusement.

“Good morning to you too, shorty.” Jake teased, nudging his arm with mine as I pouted at him.

“I am not short. I am travel size.”

In response I got several snickers and a booming laugh that I would recognize anywhere. I looked up and my eyes locked with Paul’s. It was weird, the feeling I got when I looked into his eyes; it was just like the first time I looked at them. His eyes were like nothing I’d ever seen. They were brown on the outside, the color of chocolate, but toward the center they were a deep gold color, with tiny green specks that you could only see if you were looking close enough.

My tummy felt tingly and when I tore my eyes away, the whole room was empty, apart from Paul and me. I looked around, confused, and when I looked back he was only a foot away from me. “Where’d they go?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.

Paul laughed and raised an eye brow at me. “Didn’t you hear Jake?” When my only response was and open stare, he chuckled and rolled his eyes. “ Never mind, we have to hurry so we can get there early enough for you to meet Quil, Kim and Leah.”

He seemed to think over is words before he shook his head with a smirk. “On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t hurry; Leah’s a bitch.”

I gave him an amused smile, not wanting to push the subject, because even though his tone was playful, something on his face told me he really didn’t like this girl.

We made our way to the front door and I grabbed my bag from the hallway before we went outside. I guess Paul moved his car earlier, because when we got outside, it was sitting in the front of my house with Seth, Jared and Embry all mushed in the back seat.

Jake was leaning against the driver’s side door and when he saw us, he pushed off the car and looked over at Paul. “Sorry man, the Rabbit’s not working, and Jared’s mom took his car for the day.”

Paul sighed, pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Jake, who gave me an apologetic smile before opening the door and slipping behind the wheel.

The look he gave me confused me and for a second I just stared at him through his window until it finally clicked. There were six of us and only five seats in the car.

Well this was awkward.

I wasn’t sure what to do, and when I looked over at Paul he was looking mildly embarrassed, with his hands shoved into his pocket and a shy smile on his face that I didn’t think I would ever see. Paul was a confident person, and to see him all shy like this was throwing me off.

“Well, uhm, you could sit on my lap-I mean, only if you’re okay with it.” He stammered adorably, looking like he was angry with himself for being so nervous.

I gave him a shy smile as I felt my face heat up. I mean, I didn’t really have much of a choice. I couldn’t very well walk, and I wasn’t about to go and wake my mother up so she could drive me. That didn’t make any since. No, I was going to go with my friends. I was going to sit on Paul’s lap, despite how awkward it might turn out to be.

I followed Paul awkwardly to the other side of the car, and when I passed Seth’s window he threw me a sly smirk and a wink, causing my face to heat up even more. I waited for Paul to get in first and once he was settled I slipped in after him, having no choice but to press my back against his chest because there was so little room.

I closed the door and when Paul rested his hands loosely on my hips I had to remind myself to breath. He was only putting them there for lack of anywhere else to put them, I told myself, ignoring the pounding of my heart.

The ride was silent for the first minute. No one was talking, the radio was off; nothing but silence. It was excruciating. I was positive that I could literally feel the awkward atmosphere.

“Did you guys know that male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality out of any other mammal?” I had no idea where that came from, but I had to say something and I was glad I did.

I turned slightly in Paul’s lap so I could see as the boys in the back seat either laughed at me, or looked at me like I had an alien on my shoulder. Paul’s laugh shook my whole body and I could help the smile that made its way onto my face.

“You really are something, shorty.” Jake looked at me with a smile before turning his attention back to the road.

Assuming that was a compliment, I ignored the nickname that he seemed to like so much and laughed, shaking my head as Jake pulled into the school’s parking lot. Once the car was parked, Seth, Embry and Jared were all scrambling to get out of the uncomfortably close proximity of each other.

Paul laughed again and I opened our door, hopping off of him and onto the sidewalk. He got out too and closed the door behind him, standing next to me and sending me a crooked smile.

I smiled back, more than happy that things didn’t have to be awkward between us anymore. Paul held his arm out to me playfully and I laughed linking my arm with his and following him and the rest of the boys out of the parking lot.

But, as I glanced around I couldn’t help but notice that there were more people staring at me now then there were yesterday, because now, instead of just being the new girl, I was the new girl that made some extremely attractive new friends in less than a day.