One More Weekend

I awoke the next morning, my heading feeling like it was about to burst open. I got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. I opened the cabinet over the stove -- knowing that was where Smith kept the aspirin. Getting two pills, I grabbed a bottle of water, cracked it open and downed the pills.

I heard someone coming down the stares, and I remembered the mistake I made last night. I was such an idiot. I knew I should have turned away instead engaging into a conversation with Lauren.

I saw in my peripheral that it was Logan. He didn't say anything, so I stayed silent as I drank my water. Not being able to stand the silence in the room, I walked out into the living room and sank down into the couch, tilting my head back as I waited for the medicine to kick in.

I know I should have said something, or at least didn't do what I did last night. I hated having this guilty conscious. I sat up straight, an idea popping into my head. It was going to be a long shot, but I couldn't hold back any longer.

Setting the water bottle on the coffee table, I went into the kitchen and looked at Logan, who was mindlessly stirring his coffee and staring out the window. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him up to face me.

I pressed my lips against his, my hands framing his face. I pulled away a few moments later, looking him in the eye. In all seriousness, I said, "I've messed up. A lot. Right now, I don't want to be friends with you anymore. I want to be more, that is if you're willing."

He stared at me, tears glistening his eyes. I gulped before saying, "I don't want to force you, just think about it. I'll understand either way. I am so sorry about last night, and every other time I've upset you. I just ... freak out a lot, and my mind makes me do stupid shit. I hope you can forgive me." I kissed him again, so tenderly. After a few moments, I pulled away and smiled at him weakly before walking back into the living room and curling up on the couch.

I heard him sit down at the table, so he was mulling over my words. I felt the tears fall down my face as I remembered every bad thing I've ever done to the things I've done that disappointed my parents.

I think what made the tears really come down was I didn't have my little brother here. I could always depend on him to cheer me up, no matter how much I wanted to do something drastic.

As I looked out the front window, I got lost in my thoughts, and during that time, lyrics started forming in my head. I just hope that I don't do something so seriously stupid that I feel the need to use them.