The Kind of Hoax That Leaves a Lump in Your Throat

The sofa was uncomfortable, but I couldn’t sleep upstairs.

I had a king size bed and it was too big for one person. It was even too big for two. I sometimes question why I bought the thing. Because of my weird sleeping habits I have to lie on my side, and when josh was with me, he kept me in place.

But when I was on my own, it was just like before. I would toss and turn to I ended up on my back and then I would wake up and not be able to sleep again for the rest of the night. It took a few weeks to for it to really kick in, but when it did I was too scared to fall asleep. That’s why I moved onto the sofa. It was smaller and I was able to stay on my side, but it was so uncomfortable I couldn’t sleep.

Half way through the boy’s tour, josh flew me out and I spent a few days with him. Josh could tell something was up form the second he looked at me. I felt bad because I missed him and I just wanted to be with him, but he was too worried about me to do anything. He had so much to think about with this tour going on; I didn’t want the added worry of me on top.

I spent most of the first two days asleep with him in his bunk, which was a complete waste of time, but I guess it couldn’t be helped. It just made me angry though. Like I was dependent on him, like I couldn’t fully function without him.

Josh was out living his dream, doing what he loved most in the world and I could tell he was worrying about me. But I didn’t want that. I wanted him to know that he could leave me and I would be fine. I didn’t want him to have the constant worry.

And it wasn’t just the fact my sleeping was pretty much fucked. I missed him like crazy. We had pretty much 3 quarters of relationship apart, and when my friends and I all went out, I felt like the lonely single one again.

But soon it wouldn’t matter. Josh would be home the day after tomorrow and everything would go back to normal. Well I hoped anyway.

I slowly opened my eyes, and squinted in the dark to check the time.

03:57 am.

I really didn’t want to get up. Like really didn’t want to.

Thankfully it was a Sunday so I didn’t have work and could just lay around all day. Zahra was going out, as well as coral so I had the day to moap around by myself.

I shut my eyes, even though I knew it was in vain and tired to settle myself. The doctor told me that even if you’re not asleep, like fully asleep, even if you just rest and not get frustrated and try to fall asleep it will help and I won’t feel as tied. Because when I can’t sleep I get frustrated and try and sleep, but I guess I try to hard and it doesn’t work. I just needed to relax.

I heard the front door unlock and open quietly, but the tired me dismissed it. The tired me also dismissed the sound of the door shutting, a bag being put on the floor and the sound of someone going up the stairs.

In the back of my mind I was worried. Everyone who should be here was. Coral was in here room. Zahra and no doubt Oakley were in hers. But I was too exhausted to really do anything about.

Then they were coming back down the stairs and the door to the room I was in opened slightly. Whoever it was sighed lightly and then came into the room, shutting the door quietly.

The next thing I knew, they had pulled the blanket away lightly and had crawled onto the sofa next to me. Their arms snaked around my waist and their chin rested on the top of my head.

That should have woken me up right? Well it wasn’t so much what the person was doing; it was the way they smelt that woke me up. I could recognise that smell anywhere. I knew exactly who it was.

“Josh” I mumbled and his arms tightened around me.

“Im here baby, its ok” he whispered and then pressed his lips to my forehead. My heart was now hammering so heard I thought I was going to be sick. My josh was back with me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I got an earlier flight so I could be with you”

I couldn’t help the smile that took over my face. I started to move so I was now looking at him. It was dark still, but there was some light so I could make him out. My heart gave a squeeze at how beautiful he was. You don’t really realise how much you miss someone until they’re in front of you again.

“I love you” I whispered, and my breath caught when he smiled back. He truly was the most beautiful think I have ever seen.

“I love you, too” he said earnestly before kissing my nose, and then moved down to kiss me properly. “And even though I want to talk to you more than anything, and no offence here, but you look a state and need some sleep”

He stood up and lifted me with him. He carried me to my room where we laid there and I feel asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.