Sharpen Your Knives and Prepare for War

I find it funny, in a sad sort of way.
My therapist (or doctor, whichever you prefer) is always trying to get me to open up.
I keep myself locked though.
And today in a literal sense.

I failed three classes this semester.
To be honest, I don't give two fucks about my education.
I know basic math, I think I have a pretty good vocabulary, and I can spell.

My mother, however, doesn't agree.
She was pissed.

This morning we had an argument.
She asked me what the consequence should be.
I told her I shouldn't have one because she has no idea why I didn't do half my school work.
She said 'Enlighten me, Muranda, on why you didn't do you're homework?'
I told her no, but in my mind I wasn't so nice about it.
She told me she was going to cancel my trip to Florida.
I said no.
She said yes.
I punched the wall, hard, it cracked.

I ignored her for hours.
I locked myself in my room with my computer, a bag of chips, and my cat.
I put a chair in front of the door.
She couldn't get in when she tried.
She asked why I locker her out.
I turned my music up louder.
She asked again.
Louder.
She storms away.
Louder.

She just gave me dinner, joking around smiling, like nothing was wrong.
I smiled back, I wasn't as convincing.
Everything is wrong.

She probably hates me.
I'm feeling a lot of hate towards her lately.
I just want to scream that to her.
Tell her how much I hate her right now.
But I think she might hit me.
So I don't.
I take my frustration out in other ways.