Sharpen Your Knives and Prepare for War

Am I dead?
Is this reality?
Is this life?

I hope this isn't life.
Life sucks.
Life caused me all this fucking pain.

I wish I could live in my dreams.

My dreams are were I'm happy.
Were I know and get along with the people I long to in real life.

Life is horrible.

I don't know how anyone can say they're truly "happy".
How can you be happy?
In a world like this?
So full of hate?
So full of despair?

I think those people just learned to block the pain.
They've masked it.
They've masked it because they don't have as much pain.
But still enough to make them hurt.

I wish I could mask it.
I've tried.
I've failed.

I give up.