Restless Heart Syndrome

Today was a pretty good day, Alli and I went school shopping. I was surprised with what I

picked out though. It seems that little ol' saint Clare went all "Emo" on everyone. Well

that's the way Alli said it, but she was all in for my new wardrobe.

"If you ever need anything just ask", My best friend Alli said as she smiled sweetly. "Of

course", I said smiling back. I leaned over to give her a quick hug, before I exited her

car. I waved as she took off down the road. I inhaled a deep breath before slowly making my

way towards my the front door of my house.

It looks "Normal", Like the average christian home. 'If only anyone knew', I sighed to

myself. As I took out my key to unlock the door, my stomach felt as if it flipped.

'Something isn't right'. I opened the door to be grabbed and pushed to the nearest wall. I

jumped, as I heard the door slam shut. "Where the hell have you been, bitch?!" Before I

could reply to his harsh words, He punched me in the stomach. "Answer me, Clare-Bear" He

said with a vicious smirk. The smell of vodka invaded my senses, It was making me nauseous.

"..Daddy I-", His rough hand covered my mouth. "You look so much like your mother". He

uncovered my mouth and started outlining my face, "From your face..", "To your hair..". He

looked down slightly and that hideous smirk grazed his face again, as his eyes wandered

lower. I suddenly wished I hadn't worn a tank top today. "Well someone is out growing their

child's body, huh?" I shivered, Feeling his finger outline my lips. "You have her lips to

Clare-bear, you know that?" I only nodded, not knowing what else to do.

He roughly smashed his lips on to mine. 'What the hell is happening to me!' My conscious

screamed at me. He never took things this far. Ever. Before I could control my actions, I

bit him Hard. He screamed, As I saw him wipe blood from his lips.

I ran up to my room, slamming the door locking it. I moved all my furniture over to the

door, to block his entrance. About a minute later, he was beating on my door with such

force that I could feel the sounds vibrations. I ran into my closet, and pressed my knees

into my chest. I wiped my face, it was still burning. No matter how long my tears fell.

I sighed in relief as the banging ans shouting from beyond the door died down. I walked

into my bathroom, and faced the mirror. Slowly taking off my shirt, I eyed the bruise

forming on my stomach. I looked terrible. Grabbing my first aid kit from underneath my

cab-nit, I dabbed some peroxide on a cotton ball and rubbed around it. After, I placed a cold

cloth on it. In hopes to reduce the swelling.

I looked into the mirror again, and surprised on the expression I see in the reflection. It

isn't sadness, or Depression. Its anger, and solitude. I'm mad. Mad at my father for doing

this to me, Mad at my mother for leaving him, and Mad at my Boyfriend who cant even tell!

Most of all though, I'm mad at myself for letter everyone walk over me. I'm done with that.

It's A damn shame it took my father molesting me, for that notion to get through my head.

I didn't think twice, when my fist crashed into the mirror. It broke, shattering into what

seemed like a thousand pieces. I watched as blood slowly dripped down my fist, I didn't feel

any pain but relief. I looked to see my pajamas's were already on the towel stand. I turned

the water to hot and snaked out my clothes.

'I must forget his touch' I thought as I shuttered. The heat of the water felt good on my

skin, I looked down to see the water draining a slight pinkish color. After about half an

hour, I got out. I'm not exactly tired, but I don't want to stay up and be late for school.

"Ah.." I sighed to myself, as I Wrapped myself under the blankets.

"I deserve a good night right?" I said to no one in particular. My eyes found themselves

heavy, then before I knew it all with dark.