Kiss and Control

Gordon paced up and down the waiting room awaiting news on Nenya, having just got off the phone to Feanor Arvenian. Feanor had come out of rehab last week and had gone home to France. Gordon wondered what sort of affect this would have on the man who undoubtedly still be in a fragile state of mind. He looked down at Bill who was curled up on a chair asleep; the poor boy was worn out from crying. Where was Elladan or Tom when you needed them? Bill certainly needed one of them to be here? The pair had gone AWOL; Simone had told Gordon that the boys hadn’t come home after running from the school. Gordon prayed that Elladan hadn’t caught up with Tom and done something stupid.

Finally the doctor came out and said that Nenya was stable and that they could sit with him for awhile. Gordon bent down and gently shook Bill.

“Bill...come on we can see Nen.”

Bill’s eyes fluttered open. “What?” His eyes scrunched up as the words register with him then he looked horrified at the thought of seeing the pretty boy dead.

“It’s okay, the doctor says he’s sleeping and in a stable condition.” Gordon smiled and stroked his stepson’s tear stained cheek.

Bill sat up straight then stood up. “He’s not dead?”

“No he’s not dead Bill, thank the lord.” Gordon sighed with relief.

Bill flung himself into Gordon’s arms and cried hard but with tears of joy. “Is Elladan here?” He sobbed.

“No he’s not; I don’t not where he’s got too.” Gordon placed a strong arm around his youngest stepson’s shoulders and followed the doctor to see Nenya.

“He’s heavily drugged, has a broken arm and has a hairline fracture to his skull but he going to be just fine. He was very lucky that the driver wasn’t going any faster or things may have been very different.” The doctor informed them as he walked them to Nenya’s room. “A nurse has been assigned to look after him personally during the night and another during the day. The night nurse will be in shortly, her name is Maggie.”

“Thank you doctor.” Gordon shook his hand.

Bill ran over to sit in the chair next to the bed and took Nenya’s pale limp hand in his. He held the hand to his cheek for a short time then kissed it several times before putting it back to his cheek. “Please wake up Nen...I love you so much.” He whispered. “You’re my best friend.”

Gordon smiled at Bill’s affection toward Nenya, he sighed thinking how much hard work the two Arvenien brothers were and how they had turned all their lives upside down. He was surprised he hadn’t gone grey already. Gordon realised now that Bill and Tom were angels compared to those two and considered himself and Simone lucky that the twins had turned out quite well adjusted; although Tom was behaving a bit reckless of late.

Bill took out his phone from his pocket and called Elladan but it he wasn’t picking up so he sent Elladan a text to tell him that Nenya was fine but asleep and to please contact him as soon as possible, as he was worried. Gordon and Bill stayed at the hospital until 3am before going home, Nenya hadn’t woken during that time. On the drive home, they noticed a dark figure huddled up on a bench a couple of roads from their home, it was Elladan. Gordon stopped the car and Bill got out and walked up to him.

“Elladan?” Bill croaked. Elladan was sobbing his heart out. Bill knelt down in his white skinnys, not caring how dirty they got and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the top of his bowed head. “Don’t cry.” He whispered in a broken voice.

Elladan lifted his head up. “Nen?” He whispered hoarsely. “What am I to do without Nen?” He sniffed.

“Nen’s alive and fast asleep in hospital.” Bill whispered back.

“Really?” Elladan wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.

“Yes really.” Bill replied in tears. “Come home please?”

Elladan nodded and let Bill pull him up, and lead him over to the car. They both got into the back and Gordon drove off home. Simone opened the door as soon the car pull into the drive. Gordon and the two teen climbed out.

“How’s Nen?” Simone rushed up to Gordon.

“He’s going to be fine.” Gordon replied with a yawn, he was exhausted. “Is Tom back?”

“Yes, he’s in to bed now but was pretty shaken up when he turned up about an hour ago.”

“Thank god for that.” Gordon sighed putting his arm around his wife.

“You two should go straight to bed.” Simone said to both Bill and Elladan once they were inside. “I’ll bring you up some hot chocolate.”

“Thanks mom.” Bill smiled thankfully then steered his husband up the stairs.

The next morning, which was Saturday, Gordon decided to go to the hospital with Simone, Bill and Elladan; Tom refused to go as he felt too guilty and ashamed. He blamed himself for the accident. When they arrived, Feanor was already there sitting with Nenya who was still asleep. Feanor stood up and shook all their hands.

Elladan gave his father daggered looks.

“I’ve decided that I am going to take Nenya back home to France for awhile.” Feanor announced as they all took a seat in the waiting area just outside.

“You have no right after what you did to him!” Elladan hissed.

“I know but I was ill back then but now I’m better.” Feanor replied defensively.

“I’m going to sit with my brother!” Elladan stood up and went into the room, Feanor followed him.

“Why didn’t you come and visit me with Nenya while I was in rehab?”

“Because I hate you!” Elladan replied with venom.

Elladan’s words hurt Feanor immensely causing him to wince.

“You have every reason to hate me but I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I want to make amends.”

“It’s too late!” Elladan spat.

“Please, give me a chance...we used to be so close.”

“Yeah...used to be but where were you when we needed you the most? Oh yeah...in a bottle!” Pain reflected in the teen goth’s eyes.

“I’m sorry...I was too wrapped up in my own grief.” Feanor apologised.

“Well we were grieving too but you didn’t care. We wanted our mum back and we needed you to comfort us! Nenya and I used to cry ourselves too sleep every night. Nenya still does cry a lot over her.” The tears flowed freely from Elladan’s eyes as he spoke.

“I’m s.....”

“Don’t keep saying you’re sorry because it means nothing!” Elladan shouted cutting him off wiping the tears from his face with his sleeve.

Feanor ran his hands through his hair then pinched the bridge of his nose. He just couldn’t reach Elladan and was at a loss at how too.

“Do you want a coffee?” Feanor asked his son.

Elladan shrugged in response; Feanor left the room and went in search of the coffee shop.

“So where are you staying?” Gordon asked when Feanor returned with a couple of coffees.

“The bed and breakfast in Green Lane.” Feanor replied.

“Ah yes, I know the one.”

“I’ll just give this coffee to Elladan then we can have a chat about me collecting some of Nenya’s belongings.”

Gordon nodded with deep sadness. He didn't to lose Nenya.

Nenya finally woke up at six o’clock that day after everyone had gone home. He was very distressed but the nurse named Maggie was sat with him and managed to calm him down. Maggie was in her early fifties and very motherly. Nenya grew attached to her immediately and didn’t want to leave the hospital as he felt safe with her. She found him on the roof of the hospital one night crying and looking for the stars. He told her that his mum was up there somewhere, in the brightest star because Elladan told him so. The nurse scolded him gently, saying he was in no fit state to go wondering about especially as he had an injury to the head. Maggie had pulled the young teen onto her lap and rocked him to sleep after she had managed to coax him back down to his room. One day, Maggie had even gone to the shop to buy him a large pack of lollies to comfort him after he told her that they helped him to cope with his problems and the bad thoughts he frequently got.

“Nenya...you have a visitor.” Maggie said coming back into the room Wednesday morning before she was due to go off her shift. Nenya had now been in hospital five days.

Nenya looked up from his fashion magazine he was reading, he was sucking on one of his lollies and sitting crossed legged. “Dad!” He exclaimed excitedly.

Feanor walked over quickly and hugged his youngest son. “Hey son, how are you feeling today?”

“Much better.”The pretty teen smiled then crawled into his father’s lap when he sat on the bed.

Feanor decided in was a good time to ask Nenya if he would like to come back to France with him as he was looking so much better. Nenya readily agreed, he wanted to put as much space as he could between him and Tom and his cruel words, so it was agreed that he would leave hospital on Friday and travel to France on Saturday in time for Christmas, which was on Monday. When Elladan arrived for a visit that day, Nenya promptly informed him of his plans to go live in France with their father and naturally Elladan was devastated.

Elladan returned home in a foul mood and snapped at everyone continuously for the rest of the day, especially Bill. On Thursday, Elladan wouldn’t even get out of bed; he just lay there in a depressed state. Bill didn’t know what to do so he went to see Tom for some advice but Tom was just as bad. The dread-head was sitting inside the walk-in closet with one of Nenya’s scarves in his hand and was crying into it; he was very cut up about the news of Nenya leaving. Bill sighed heavily and left his twin alone with his sorrow and went downstairs. Gordon was sitting with the television on but he was clearly not watching it, his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Even Simone was very down, she was not singing as she cleaned in the kitchen like she usually did. She was getting the house ready for the Christmas Eve small but select party she was holding. Not that she felt like it now but it was too late because the invitations had already gone out and been accepted. Bill didn’t feel like partying either and was beginning to fear that his first Christmas with his husband was going to be nothing but a miserable one. Bill decided to go to the hospital by bus and visit Nenya.

“Tom...Georg’s here to see you?” Simone said opening the door to Tom’s room after lunch. Tom was laying face down on his bed with his face buried in his pillow.

Georg walked in to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of Tom’s bed while Simone went back down stairs.

“Hey dude...you’ve not been answering my calls or texts so I thought I’d come see how you’re doing?”

Tom rolled over to look at his friend; his eyes were puffy and red. “Sorry, not in a good place right now.” He croaked.

Georg still looked a bit battered after Elladan's kicking.

"How are you...you know...after..."

"Well I have felt better." Georg admitted.

Tom laid back down and stared at the ceiling.

“Dude...you need to pull yourself together.” Georg sighed.

“I can’t...I love him and now he’s moving to France.” Tom’s voice was hoarse.

“That sucks big time but I not sure what you can do short of making a huge gesture to prove how much you’re sorry and how much he means to you!” Georg replied earnestly.

That got Tom thinking, there had to be something he could do to prove to Nenya how much he loved him and how sorry he was. Then it hit him. Tom jumped up off his bed and grabbed his guitar off its stand, he stuck into its case.

“Sorry Georg but I got some shit to do in town!” Tom tore out of his bedroom and out of the front door, leaving a very bemused and confused Georg behind.

“Why does he have to play his music so damn loud?” Gordon complained that evening as he tried to read his newspaper. “The whole house is vibrating!”

“I don’t know.” Simone replied feeling a little agitated herself. She couldn’t hear the programme she was watching on the television.

The music carried on blaring out, shaking the whole house.

“That’s it...I’m going to tell him to turn it off!” Gordon threw down his newspaper, stood up abruptly and swiftly left the living room.

Gordon took the stairs two at a time and barged straight into the bedroom that Elladan shared with Bill.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!” Gordon roared.

Bill was cowering in the corner with blood pouring from his mouth and Elladan standing over him with his fist raised. Gordon promptly walked in and turned off the music as Elladan stepped away from Bill.

“SIMONE! GET UP HERE NOW!” Gordon yelled furiously red in the face.

Gordon seized hold of Elladan and pulled him roughly from the room by the arm. Simone appeared on the landing.

“He’s been hurting Bill...go see to him while I deal with Elladan!” Gordon was livid.

Bill came running out. “What are you going to do to him?”

“Stay with your mother, Bill!” Gordon dragged a protesting and cursing Elladan down the stairs by the arm.

“Gordon stop” Bill ran down after them in tears, followed by Simone.

Gordon shoved Elladan into the kitchen.

“What are you doing Gordon?” Simone asked looking worried. Her husband was shaking with pure anger.

“What I should’ve done a long time ago!” Gordon replied and shut the door, closing her out.

Simone opened the door, she saw her husband remove his belt with one hand as he held firmly on to Elladan who was struggling to get free.

“KEEP STILL!!” He yelled at Elladan. “Shut the door Simone!”

“Gordon, please don’t?” Simone pleaded.

“Mom...stop him!” Bill’s eyes were wide with horror as he looked over her head.

“OUT!” Gordon roared and Simone closed it.

Gordon pushed Elladan across the table and held him firmly there; he struck the teen goth with the belt across his backside several times before letting him go. Elladan had screamed out with each stroke.

“Now go into the sitting room where I can keep an eye on you!”

Elladan fled from the kitchen in tears but he bolted out of the front door in to the darkness and cold.

Bill ran after him but he had gone by the time Bill had reached the street.

“What have you done?” Simone asked on the brink of tears.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked bewildered as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

Bill came back inside in floods of tears. “I HATE YOU!” He yelled at his stepfather before bolting up the stairs to the bedroom.

Tom looked from Gordon to Simone waiting for an explanation.

“He had it coming!” Gordon stated then went into the living room.

“What coming and who?” Tom asked his mother.

Simone’s hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. “H...he’s given Elladan a hiding.” She stammered, totally in shock.

“Holy fuck!” Tom exclaimed. He went up to find Bill.

Elladan ran and ran in the darkness not really caring where he was heading. The teen goth ran for a good twenty minutes without stopping, trying to out run his pain and hurt. He knew he deserved it all but his life was falling apart and he had no control over it; and that was something he did not like. Elladan stopped when he was out of breath and shivered; it had begun to snow. Elladan wrapped his arms around himself as he was only in his shirt sleeves. He then wiped furiously at the tears that steamed down from his eyes and looked about. He saw a sign with the word hospital with an arrow pointing ahead. Elladan walked in that direction. He bit his lip and swallowed a sob when thoughts of his brother came to mind; he didn’t want him to go to France. Elladan suddenly had the desperate need to be with his brother. He would go and see Nenya, even though it was very late.

Elladan walked into the busy A&E section unnoticed and made his way through and over to the staircase that lead to the wards. He purposely chose this route as so not be discovered and risk being turned away. Ten minutes later he was in the corridor where his brother’s room was situated; he hid behind a vending machine. He saw Maggie come out of the room so when the coast was clear, Elladan sneaked in. Nenya was asleep in bed; Elladan wiped the tears from his face again then removed his boots. He shivered again and hugged himself, he need to get warm. He gently pulled the blanket up and slid in behind his brother. Elladan snaked his arms around Nenya’s waist then pressed his head against the back of his brother’s head. He sobbed quietly into his thick hair.

“Ell?” Nenya whispered, suddenly waking up. He turned round carefully without hurting his arm, to face his brother.

“I fucked up big time and ran away.” Elladan sniffed. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Don’t cry...I’m glad you came.” Nenya whispered stroking his brother’s cheek with his good hand.

They stayed silent for a short while then Nenya spoke again. “Come to France?”

“I can’t...I don’t want to be with father...please don’t go?” Elladan sniffed.

Nenya bit his lip and thought for a bit. “We could go to London...you like London?”

“That would be nice.” Elladan replied hoarsely, trying to stop himself crying but failing miserably.

“Then that’s what we’ll do ...we’ll run away.” Nenya whispered. “Early tomorrow before father comes for me.”

“Sounds good.” Elladan sniffed.

“We’ll spend Christmas in London...just you and me.” Nenya smiled.

Elladan nodded as he tried to stifle another sob.

“I love you Ell.”

“Love you too baby bro.” The elder Arvenien sniffed.

The two teens fell asleep almost immediately. Maggie came back in; she smiled to herself when she saw Elladan curled up to Nenya. “Poor boys.” She whispered to herself then went over to the sleeping brothers and tucked them in before leaving again.