Fear

Another great show finished! This has got to be one of the best venues we’ve ever played at! So many people showed up and the whole crowd got really involved during our set. They were screaming their heads off like they went completely nuts! Even the parents forced to accompany their kids seemed to have some fun. We are definitely coming back here during the next tour.

Even afterwards the fans were so sweet to us. We finally got through taking all pics and signing whatever they wanted just 10 minutes ago. So about an hour and a half has passed since the end of the show and we’re just now saying goodbye to the last of concert goers. We just waved off the last of the little group and are now relaxing in the cool night air. It felt so much better out here than in that sweatbox of a club after we got through with it.

Jayy and I are now just hanging out behind the building while he celebrates a great show with yet another cigarette. I rarely smoke with him but I enjoy his company all the same. It’s always best to wind down with someone who’s coming off the same high you are and nobody’s higher than Jayy...with the exception of right now...at least until he gets on the bus.

As he continued smoking his little cancer stick, we talked about pretty much anything we could think of. It doesn’t really matter what it’s about, we can always find something to express our opinions on. Currently it just happened to be about my height.

“You’re so short compared me,” he laughed out, expertly taking a drag between laughs.

I rolled my eyes and retorted right back, “Everyone’s short compared to you.”

He nearly rolled his eyes but then gave it some actual thought. “Yeah, I’ll give you that one but when you stand next to me I feel like I should use your head as an arm rest.”

Just to make a point, he pulled me in front of him and rested his smoking arm on my head as he took another inhalation. I stepped back to where I was parallel between him and the wall as I playfully slapped away his arm. I leant against it and gave an unhappy mewl as I tried to untangle the knots he had just created. He just laughed and seeing those smiling eyes completely erased any displeasure I had towards him.

“Try that again and you’ll be the one staring up.”

His eyebrow arched and I just now got my unintended joke. “And why would that be?”

I smirked back at him as I replied, “’Cause I may be shorter than you but I do have a clear shot to someplace that’ll bring you straight to your knees.”

Just to make sure he got the message, I gave a little motion to somewhere down south and he quickly got it. I think I even saw him pale a little bit as he swallowed a nervous gulp.

That demeanor quickly changed when my little smirk faltered into a good-natured grin. He just let out a little chuckle and teasingly tussled my hair again. I swatted his hand away once more and stuck out my tongue. Jayy only shook his head and continued smiling down at me.

“Put up your right hand.”

I tilted my head in confusion at the odd request. That kinda seemed to come out of nowhere. I think he might have smoked a good bit of weed when I wasn’t looking. It really wouldn’t surprise me to be honest. All he did though was give a little eye roll and sigh as he flicked his smoked butt to the ground.

“Just do it.”

Humoring him, I stepped closer towards him and did as requested, feeling just a bit like an idiot. Soon his left hand joined mine. A tiny blush came to my cheeks as I felt our skin touch. It was like a warm little jolt was sent through every nerve ending in my body. My skin felt like it was heating up again just as it was when we were playing on stage.

“Look-your hand is so freaking small compared mine. I even have enough room left with my fingers to curl them over the top of yours.”

I snapped my attention back to him as he prattled on and on about the size difference. I just let him go on until he finally ran out of air. “Done?” I asked sounding just slightly annoyed. Not too much though but it always hurts me a little bit too deeply when he teases me. I don’t know why, it just does and right now it’s starting to get to me again.

He picked up as my mood became less amused and he backed off with the commentary...mostly.

“I’m not saying it’s bad Dahvie, just that it’s a little funny. Personally I think it’s really cute and suits you perfectly.”

My blush came back as a dark pink when his words sunk in. I looked back up at him, searching for any sign of this being just another joke. When I found none, I smiled brightly at him which he returned with his own softer one. I was getting ready to pull my hand away but he quickly interlaced our fingers together.

“See? ‘Cause your hands are smaller, they fit perfectly between mine like...they were made for each other...” he trailed off.

I couldn’t help but grin even more. He might tease me but he always knows just how to fix it up afterwards. He’s got a way with words, what more can I say?

I looked fondly back down to our interwoven hands as my smile softened with a more reflected tone to it. They really did look like they fit perfectly together. All of a sudden I felt the tips of his fingers trace over the back of my hand in a gentle caress.

“Mm...” he mused, “Your hands are really soft.”

Okay, that was a bit random. I scratched the back of my head awkwardly with my free hand and gave him this you’re-really-high-aren’t-you? smile. “Umm...thanks?”

He stared at me with this growing hungry look in his eyes and honestly, it’s starting to creep me out. He brought his free hand up and caressed my cheek softly. I could feel another small blush rising with every stroke of his thumb against my skin.

“Everything about you is soft,” he continued on sounding very distracted.

Feeling just a bit embarrassed, I tried to step back but with his fingers still laced tightly in mine, I could only go a few inches. His eyes now dropped down to my lips as his tongue slid out to wet his. Watching the wet muscle glide over those perfect lips held my attention for quite awhile until he stepped further towards me. I backed up instinctively but jumped when my back hit the wall. A little bit of alarm was developing in the pit of my stomach but I pushed it aside for now.

His eyes traveled back up to meet mine and I knew I must have had the most questioning face mixed with a bit of fear. His eyes softened just a tad but I saw something else growing behind that. They seemed to darken as he disappeared further inside his mind. I withdrew my fingers from his only to be caught again by the wrist.

Okay, now the fear came back but this time a good deal stronger.

“Where are you going Dahvie? I just want to have a little fun.”

My eyes widened and I asked shakily, “J-Jayy?”

His lips parted slightly as he searched my face for something. I don’t care what it is that he’s looking for but I’m getting out now! I don’t know what gotten into him tonight but I’m not sticking around to find out! I’ll come back when he’s normal again.

I think he must have read my body language because within moments of me making up my mind, both my wrists were trapped against the wall and he was closer than ever before.

“Jayy?!?” I nearly yelled. What is he doing?

I now showed my very obvious terror as his eyes darkened further with a new sadistic tone. I could feel my heart rate picking up to a very fast pace as I struggled with my own body to try to push him off. My mind says to get the fuck out of here but my body won’t listen. It didn’t even feel like I was paralyzed by shock or fear. What the hell is happening here?!? The best I could manage was only to push myself further against the wall but that only encouraged him to move closer.

“Dahvie,” he began softly, almost in a caring voice, “You look so scared...Are you?”

I nodded my head weakly as I stared up at him with my lip quivering. His only action was to grip my wrists tighter. His voice became harder as he asked;

“Well, are you?”

I could feel tears forming in my eyes but I couldn’t find the voice to speak. To force my words he pressed my wrists even further into the wall, almost enough to hurt. A tiny whimper echoed in my throat as my eyes started to well up. Once again but in a much more commanding tone he asked “Are you?”

My body trembled beneath his as I spoke in a loud, shaky voice “Y-yes!”

I drew my bottom lip into my mouth as his face slowly leaned in. His grip had relaxed but he still didn’t let go. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt his lips ghost against my ear. His voice came back once more in that soft, nearly sweet tone.

“What are you so afraid of?”

I swallowed a nervous gulp as my body shivered beneath his but it didn’t seem to just be from terror. His hands tightened just slightly around my wrists and a small fearful gasp escaped me. Seeing no way out of this, I replied back to him in a quiet, intimidated voice.

“Y-you…”

I felt a small smirk against my ear before he chuckled softly. As he pulled back to face me again, I could clearly see that sadistic look in his eyes as I stood terrified beneath him. In a teasing voice he asked, “And why are you afraid of me? I haven’t done anything to you...yet.”

With that last sentence, a small pleasurable jolt I know all too well went straight to my groin. How fucked up am I that I’m getting turned on by this?!? Tears began stinging my eyes and threatening to fall soon, both from his actions and my own self-hatred. Completely petrified, all I could reply to him was, “I-I don’t know…” His grip clenched further. In pure terror and panic I said much more loudly, “I-I really don’t!”

His smirk widened, showing off his perfect teeth shining in the moonlight. He looked almost like a demon with those long canines and dark red contacts. I shook noticeably as he chuckled at my obvious distress. When he began leaning in towards my ear again, I flinched to the side and tightly shut my eyes. I was so afraid of him right now I couldn’t bear to look. I have no idea how far he was going to take this.

He drew my hands away from the wall and held them just above my head. He moved them around so he could comfortably hold them in one iron-tight grip while the other was free to do as he wished.

Still with that teasing voice he spoke against my ear, “We should take care of that fear, don’t you think?”

I shook my head rapidly as the tears finally spilled out. When one hit his cheek, he pulled back. His thumb brushed away the fallen drop on my face but another soon replaced it. With a hint of sadness in his voice, he told me, “Dahvie...don't look so scared...I’m not going to hurt you.” Then what was he doing?

Betraying his previous actions, he gently kissed away my tears and moved on to my lips. I tried so hard not to respond but I finally gave in. He pulled back almost immediately afterwards and loosened his grip just a bit so my hands could breathe. I could taste the saltiness from what was left of my tears on his lips.

His hand left my cheek and trailed down my waist where he cupped the curve gently but firmly. I was paralyzed when I felt his skin through the cloth but finally relaxed when his thumb traced small circles where ever it could reach.

He began moving his mouth up my jaw line to the side of my neck, kissing ever so softly as he went. My breathing became shaky as his gentle caresses increased. He seemed so bipolar tonight that I’m completely at a loss. One minute we’re laughing, next he’s got me pinned against the wall, and now he treating me like I’m the love of his life. He’s just completely fucking with my emotions and I don’t know what to do! I want to start crying again because I know this doesn’t mean anything to him.

My thoughts were interrupted as his mouth hit that special spot on my neck that makes me go completely weak in knees. I let out a small whimpering moan despite myself as a tremor worked up my spine. Jayy quickly caught it and attached himself there, sucking and biting the skin like no tomorrow. A louder cry escaped as my hips thrust against his. I could clearly feel his bulge against the front of his jeans.

Once I touched it, I tried everything I could think of not to react but still my body was mixing this fear and frustration into a kind of strange arousal. As I felt myself growing, his teeth nipped harder at my skin, once more earning another loud whimper and push of my hips. He let out his own moan against my neck when my matching bulge hit his.

His free hand left my hip and began tracing lightly down to my newly tightened pants. As he toyed with the button I let out a loud gasp because I just now realized what he was planning. He made quick work of the snap button and drew down the fly almost immediately. My breathing sped up in anticipation of what he was going to do.

His fingers delicately rubbed my tented boxers until he grew tired of waiting in just a matter of seconds. Before I could even register the change in temperature, he had my jeans and underwear past my thighs and his hand replacing them. I instinctively arched into the touch, which he took as an encouragement to continue.

I’ve wanted this for so long with him, to feel his skin on mine, but why was he doing all this? He still has yet to give me any kind of reason, only terrifying me to point of a near panic attack and then completely switching gears and touching me in such an intimate way. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Does he think it’s fun to scare the shit out of me until he can do whatever he wanted? I would have let him do it anyway...

His hand began moving and I let out a gasping moan. It felt so much better with him than I’ve ever had with anyone else. Though my body undoubtedly enjoyed this, my mind was still screaming that he’s only using or teasing me. He can’t be that cruel...could he?

Another cry filled the night air as his hand sped up. I still couldn’t shake my thoughts so I forced myself to ask him even though I was afraid of the answer. “J-Jayy...Why?”

I didn’t get an answer except for a sharp bite causing a moan to erupt loudly from deep within my throat. I’m not going to just let this go so I tried again, this time sounding more sure and determined.

“Jayy?”

Once again no verbal response, unless you count an impatient/irritated groan muffled into the side of my neck. He simply just tightened his grip, sped up further, and sucked harder.

A moan caught itself in my throat as my knees struggled to hold me up. It was getting so hard to stand right now. Usually it’s a battle with just my neck being bitten but combined with his hand, now it seemed like an uphill struggle. Jayy noticed and moved one leg between mine and the other on the opposite side to help stop my shaking. Despite all this, I still want my answer. All he’s doing is avoiding the whole subject but I won’t give up.

I opened my mouth to question him more but only small gasps escaped. My mind was slipping into a heavy fog as he worked harder against me. Unlike how he acted before, it now just seemed like he wanted to please me in any way possible. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t working but I still don’t want my heart getting broken when he says it’s just a one time fling. I need to stop this now before I get hurt...more than I already am.

I flexed my wrists to try and push him off but his hand only tightened and held them above me in a secure grip. He bit harder against my neck, breaking the skin and sucking up all the leaking blood. My hips rock against him as I cried out in pleasure. When his tongue deftly licked over the wound, I nearly burst right then. Something about that sweet pain just drives me completely nuts and he knows how to do it just right.

But I need to get out while I still can. I tried once more to free my hands but to no avail. If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be so far gone I’d let him do anything, no matter how much pain it causes me later.

I let out a tiny whimper of his name but he ignored it and just gave a long teasing pump. A wave of pleasure rode up my body making me twitch and arch against his chest. When Jayy felt it, his lips curled into a pleased smirk and did it once more. With this new stroke, I whimpered feeling so close to the edge but I was determined not to fall. I can already feel myself slowly giving in to just letting him have his way with me...but I still have some part of my mind that is thinking rationally...for now at least.

I desperately searched to find enough brain power to form words but every cell seemed to be gradually overrun with pleasure. I was swimming in a sea of ecstasy trying to find just one island of self-control. I’m only an inch away from losing it and I think he can tell. His hand sped up even more as his hips brushed just slightly against mine in his own thrusts. I’m trying to hang on with everything I have but I’m just so close...It’s now or never...

“J-Jayy...p-please, don’t...s-stop.” He paused his lips and his hand began slowing down, “...Please don’t stop,” I begged.

I finally just gave in to him. I’ll probably regret this tomorrow but I just want this moment with him. He let out a happy little moaning sigh against my neck as he resumed his pace, perhaps going a bit faster. As a small reward for my submission, he gave another skilled lick to my still bleeding wound. I let out a choked cry and finally let myself enjoy everything he’s offering. I moaned unashamedly as my hips thrust further into his hand.

Seeing now that I wasn’t going to run, he released his hold on my wrists and drew me in further against him. Even though I could easily push him aside now, I just couldn’t let myself. I just wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him in even closer. His free hand now began snaking its way up the front of my shirt until he reached my chest. I let out pleased sighs as he traced little uneven patterns over my painted skin.

His other hand was now speeding up even faster, almost at an unnatural pace. I was only seconds away from my release and I thought nothing could get any better than how it was right now. Oh, how happily I mistaken.

Just a second before I climaxed, his teeth sank deeper into my neck while his hand gripped hard around my member for a final teasingly stroke. To top it all off, his free hand clamped tightly over my right nipple and twisted in a deliciously painful squeeze. With a scream of his name piercing the night, I came hard and fast over his pumping hand, spraying both of our shirts.

My body shuddered violently underneath his as he continued pumping me through my orgasm. His hand left my chest and shoved its way down his pants. He didn’t stop to unbutton them, only forced the hem down far enough so he could free himself from their tight confinement. I watched as he stroked himself hard and fast, not caring enough to tease his already leaking erection. I could feel his teeth clench further into my flesh and I knew he was close.

I removed one of my hands from around his neck and replaced the one working his swollen member. I felt him gasp against my neck then whimper out a tiny desperate moan. He pulled his lips away from my skin and laid his head on my shoulder as he held my waist tightly. I heard his breathing pick up and I knew just one more pump would do it for him.

I gave his very generously sized cock one final tight squeeze as I drew my hand hard and fast up his twitching length. His body writhed against me as he cried out my name and released his seed over my hand to join the mess on both of our shirts. I continued stroking him until I was sure his orgasmic haze had passed, then reluctantly withdrew my hand. He was still panting hard as he leaned on me but I knew what would happen next. Once he calmed down, he would leave and we’ll probably never speak of this again. Accepting my fate, I pulled my pants back up and waited patiently for him to move.

When he finally regained control of his breathing, his head still rested on my shoulder as he redressed himself. I expected him to move off now that he was finished but instead he just laid his hands gently on my waist again and moved his mouth up to lap at the tiny amount of blood that still dripped. I let out a soft little moan and felt that same pleased smile again. Once my wound had been “cleaned” yet again, he worked his way back to my lips. Like before, I was reluctant to kiss back but I ultimately gave in and pulled him in close to me.

After going at it for a few minutes, he pulled back to smile warmly at me.

“Why’d you hesitate?” he asked softly.

My eyes averted to the ground and I leant back against the wall, awaiting his inevitable departure. “...Because you’re going to leave.”

He tilted my chin up to look at him but I only saw a caring, loving expression. My own eyes cast down again and I could feel in them the sadness and regret that I had let this happen even though I knew it’d hurt me in the end. Why do I torture myself like this?

He pecked my lips in a soft caress and whispered out, “I’m not leaving...not without you, at least.”

My eyes shot up at him as I desperately searched for any sign that he was lying. This was too good to be true. How could he like me like that? I heard him release a happy you’re-completely-hopeless sigh before capturing my lips for another tender kiss. This time I didn’t hold back. Every feeling I ever had for him was completely expressed through just a meeting of our lips. When he let out a soft, joyful moan, I knew he understood.

We pulled back a final time and smiled like there was nothing else in the world. He re-laced my fingers with his and nearly skipped as he led us towards the bus. Sounding utterly pleased with life, he asked me “Sleep in my bunk tonight?”

I could only smile wider as I replied “Only if you think we’ll be doing some actual sleeping.”