Alexithymia

Kim was nervous as fuck. She didn't know why. It wasn't like she hadn't seen John before this. In fact he had come in and out of the apartment quite a few times after taking the spare key above the door. Kim would always or pretend to be asleep until he left.
But this time was different. Now their lawyers were involved. Kim never bit her nails but out of sheer nerves she chewed the skin on the end of her thumb. Her nervous pacing stopped when she heard a door open. Luckily it was just her lawyer Patrick.
"okay so Jonathan's lawyer"
Kim stopped him, "it's just John" feeling her self blush a little. 
Patrick quickly made a note on his paper and continued speaking. 
"He's  here and John isn't far off, we need to sort some things out"
Kim shifted in her seat, her heart rising into her throat. Moments like this, where it was physically real always made her feel like she'd just been hit by a speeding train.
"I don't really want anything Patrick, he can have his money, whatever is his from the apartment, an hell if he wants the apartment he can take it! Just get this over with okay?" Kim forced the corners of her mouth to turn up and put on a brave face. She didn't want to fight with John, he could take what he wanted. She didn't care about his money or anything, she just wanted him to be hers again. But that wasn't going to happen. And the dozens of divorce papers spread out across the table only enforced this. 

John pulled up at the building. His stomach was turning in knots. He'd already thrown up twice this morning and he hadn't slept a wink last night. His lawyer had been calling him all last night telling him to be prepared for a fight and that they were going to fight for what John deserved but he knew better. Kim wasn't the kind of person to put in a fight like that. Yes she was very very strong willed when she wanted to be, John had been on the wrong side of that a few times, but looking at her now, he didn't think she even had the energy to argue. He'd been to the apartment to get his stuff, he knew she was faking being asleep. Whenever she was actually asleep her forehead would relax but when she was trying to get to sleep, her forehead creased up. 
She was thinner than he remember and had dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired . Tired of the back and forth, tired of the fights, and tired of him. He loved her, god he loved her but he just couldn't put out his hate towards her for what she did. 
As John climbed out of the car he saw a familiar car parked a few spots over. As he got closer he saw that it was Nicks. He tapped on a window and Nick jolted in surprise.
"Oh hey John" Nick said awkwardly as he got out of the car.
"what are you doing here Nick?" John asked shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I....umm"
"You drove her here" John answered for him and Nick could only nod in return. 
"I had to John, otherwise she wouldn't make it" Nick sighed, becoming frustrated with him. 
"she can survive on her own! I thought you were with me?" John glared
"Shes so broken John! She's absolutely fucked and she needs someone there for her! God can you not see that?" Nick snapped, getting tired of Johns antics, "stop being so self absorbed and she what she's going through! Kim is a complete mess, like you were after..."
"Shut up nick," John seethed, cutting him off, "can't you see me? I'm fucking breaking apart every single god damn day! She's not the only one, it was her fault she fucked up!" John choked
Nick could hear the crack in his voice and even though John had sunglasses on he could tell what was behind them, he knew he pushed it too far.
"You're right man, I'm sorry I just....want someone there for her" Nick shrugged 
John coughed and sniffed, "forget about it, just stay away from my ex-wife" 
The words even stung Nicks chest, their relationship was never supposed to head this way. 
"John..."
"Pick your side Nick, there isn't room for both of us" John glared as he turned and walked into the building where the dreading meeting and his soon to be ex-wife were waiting. 

They grew tired of sitting in the booth and had enough drinks to get up on the dance floor and attempt to bust a move without shame. The boys had their eyes set on prizes for the night, as did John.
They little blonde girl danced like no one was watching her. It made the corners of his lips turn up and even showed a bit of teeth.
"Ah Cornelius is smiling!" she giggled and pointed at him, her eyes glazed over by the countless colorful drinks she had consumed. His matched hers as he let the smile take over his features.
"It's hard not to when you dance like that" he chucked bringing the two of them closer together.
"dance ugly or go home" she giggled in his ear and fell into him. 
A bartender came around with a tray of shots. Without even looking what they were, the two downed them in a second and regained their posture.
His arms wrapped around her body with her back pressed to his stomach and her hands ran through his hair. 
After a song of Kim grinding her back into him, he spun her around so the two were inches apart.
Kim liked John, god did she like him. She was desperate to know how his lips felt, how his hands worked and dying to taste him.
He felt the same. His body was craving the foreign object moving against him. A girl so different it brought JohnO back from the dead.      
He scared her more than anything though. She was afraid of everything about him. And Kim was never one to make the move and take a chance without a guiding hand.
John was though. 
With the amount of alcohol pulsing through both of them he took the chance.
He pulled the girl right up against his body and crashes his lips into hers. 
Kim didn't hesitate for a second, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulling his face closer. Their tongues battled for dominance and the movement around them stopped. The two were just completely focused on each other.  

He didn't want to take his sunglasses off incase someone noticed the water behind them and the tiredness underneath. Adam met him out the front of the meeting room. Kim and her lawyer were sitting on the other side of that door. John suddenly felt like throwing up again.
"Now John, I've got your proposal and just let me do the talking okay?" Adam asked and John just nodded 
"We can't do too much since the papers still aren't signed by the bitch" Adam continued and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. John sent him a glare, not exactly knowing why. 
Adam ignored it and continued, "doing this now will speed up things later" 
He patted John on the back and placed a handle on the door knob, turning it around. 

Kim woke up with a pounding head and her stomach felt queazy. But she wasn't stupid, she remembered exactly what happened last night...well most of it.
Johns lips and body moving against hers on the dance floor and the rest of the night spent wrapped up in each other in the booth sharing kisses in between their tongues tangled in each others mouth.  
"Fuck" Kim sighed and rubbed her face. 
She looked around and made sure she was in her room and that there was no one next to her. Thank god. She and John hadn't gone any further last night. 
She remembered the kiss. Man that was one kiss full of built up sexual tension. Her hands were tangled in his hair and his strong arms made sure the two would not part. 
She felt a smile appear on her face.
"Thinking about you and John getting down last night?" she heard a voice say. 
Kim snapped upright and saw Kennedy standing in the door way.
"Kenny what are you doing here?" she rubbed her eyes. 
"I stayed at my parents last night after bringing you home, thought I should come past and check on you" he replied, sitting on the end of her bed.
"so me and John last night?"
"Yep, all night long" Kennedy laughed,  "it was about time" 
Kim shook her head and fell back into the pillows. There was no way her and John would go back to normal after this. 
"I'm gonna head back to my place, swing by later if you like" Kennedy said and placed a kiss on the top of her hair and left with a smirk in her direction. 

 John bounced into the kitchen. Although his head was pounding he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. 
"someone's cheery this morning" Halvo said from his spot on the kitchen bench, nursing a cup of coffee. 
"Who me?" John asked
"Could have something to do with a certain blonde?" Jared piped up
It was no secret John had been pining for Kim. He was head over heals for her. More than any other girl before. Everyone could see how much happiness she brought him. He was no longer the broken John, plagued with troubles and heartache, he was JohnO.