Secretly Hidden Pain

She secretly wanted to slit her wrist and sometimes would when there was no one around at school in bathrooms at home in her own bathroom locked door hidden from the world if only she could find someone who could help her she just wanted to scream “HELP ME!” But no one would hear her anyways this was Amy Heart’s life. She slowly sat down on her tubs side sliding her black jackets sleeve up there it was her wrist warmer hiding all her pain she slowly slid her wrist warmer off and slid the needled hid in it out listening and looking around making sure no one would knock on her bathroom door any moment she decided and thought, “Ok Amy coast is clear.” Gently she slid the needle across her wrist the blood started to seep out of the crack in her skin she had made tears started to form in her eyes it hurt, but it was bitter sweet pain a way to escape things around her started to feel better and after a moment the blood made her nauseated and she dodged for the toilet dropping her needle to the floor her wrist warmer falling off her lap as she moved she got sick into the toilet it was food from lunch she flushed and just slid down the wall to the floor starting at her wrist and at the floor where her needle lay with her wrist warmer looking to her left sat the toilet she had just vomited in.

“Amy?” Crap it was her mother, “Are you ok?”

“Uh yeah mom I’m fine. What do you need?”

“Just letting you know dinners done.”
Amy sat there she didn’t want dinner she had just got sick and threw up lunch, but she couldn't refuse her mom would know something’s up, “Ok well I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Ok honey.” Amy listened as she heard her mother’s footsteps trail down the hall then down the stairs as they creaked; sitting there Amy didn’t want to move or get up, but she knew she had too her mom would be back soon if she didn’t come out. Amy slid across the bathroom floor on her hands and knees colleting her needled sliding it back into the wrist warmer standing up she laid the wrist warmer on the sink with the needle already inside it she looked up at herself just to cry she looked down fast she hated seeing herself she just looked down at her arm as she ran water over it to wash the blood down the sink then dried her wrist off with a towel sliding the wrist warmer back over her cuts then sliding her sleeve back down too.

Amy turned for her bathroom door opening it up to the hall stepping out the smell of dinner made her feel even sicker with herself Amy walked down the rectangular hall with all the pretty happy pictures of her, her mom and dad in them from when she was little and her mom took the whole family to get a professional pictures they all were hung on light baby blue walls she took a turn to the left to go down the stairs she listen to them creak as she now walked down them as her mom did minutes ago; when Amy took a right turn into the kitchen at the bottom her mom was just about to make her a plate, “Um mom is it ok if I don’t eat tonight?”

“Yes dear. May I ask why?” her mom asked ever so sweetly putting her plate back up.

“Oh I just promised Amber I’d come over and have dinner at her house why we studied for out history test tomorrow.” How was she coming up with these lies so easily now days she was a totally different person before high school she use to share everything with her mom she use to tell her everything now she was hiding behind walls and doors and lying she held a fake smile on the outside, but she was bleeding on the inside.

“Ok, but you know the rules be back by 7:30 p.m. it gets dark around that time. Ok sweetie?”

“Ok I’ll see you all later then.” Amy walked around her mom stopping to give her a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug then she walked out the kitchen door where was she going to go she had lied she wasn’t suppose to go to Ambers; the sunset was beautiful, pretty she hoped that one day it would soak her up she loved the feel of the heat on her skin she wanted so much to be sucked up by the sun.