In for a Ride

Once I knew Bam was asleep, I carefully slid off the bed. I went to the door and opened it quietly. I glanced back to make sure Bam didn’t wake up. I then closed the door quietly. I walked downstairs to the pirate bar. I smiled a little when I found Ryan in there.

“Ryan, what is wrong with Bam?” I asked as I sat down on a stool beside him.

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“I was joking around and he freaked out.” I stated.

“I don’t know. Might have to do with Jen.” Ryan shrugged. I knew Ryan wasn’t telling me something.

“I am pretty sure it doesn’t.” I stared at Ryan.

“Kaylee, I don’t know.” Ryan sighed as he ran his finger through his hair.

“You know something.” I whispered.

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Like what exactly?”

“I don’t know!” I groaned as I threw my hands up in the air.

“I know as much as you do.” Ryan smiled a little.

I sighed and got up. I went back upstairs. I grabbed my skateboard before going outside. I began skating around. I knew Ryan wasn’t telling me something. Why was Bam freaking out for? I was starting to wonder if it was a good idea that I was staying here or not. I knew Dico liked me. I liked him too. I loved his humor. He was quote adorable. He was older than me though which caused problems. I knew Ryan wouldn’t like that. I jumped off my skateboard and sat down on the blacktop. I groaned loudly. I was starting to wonder if running away was a good idea. I began thinking about the past few days. I realized that it seemed worse here than it was at my aunt’s house. I would rather stay here though. I began going through the pros and cons of running away. It wouldn’t be easy, but I would be willing to try. I began forming a plan in my head. I smiled when I realized what I was planning on doing. It wouldn’t be soon, but soon enough.

My phone went off and I took it out of my pocket. It was a text from Johnny Knoxville. He was asking me how I was doing. I texted back and told him that I was doing good. Of course that was a lie. I doubt he would call Ryan and ask him though. Unless Ryan had asked him to ask me. I doubt he did that though.

I stood up and put my phone back in my pocket. I went over to my skateboard and picked it up. I walked back to the house. I didn’t even care to find anyone or talk to them. I went straight to my room. I closed the door quietly. I kicked my shoes off after I leaned my skateboard against the wall. I took my phone out of my pocket and threw it on the bed. I then flopped down on my bed. I had my face buried into the pillow. I groaned loudly when I thought about tomorrow. I had school which sucked. I was always bullied and had very few friends. My friends usually backstabbed me. I knew it was going to be the same here. They will think I am a freak. Everything I do will piss someone off. The popular kids will end up bullying me for no reason. Unless their reason is I’m different from them. I didn’t plan on telling anyone that Ryan was my brother. Or that I lived in Castle Bam. I doubt anyone would believe me. And if they did, they would defiantly want to be friends with me just so they can meet the guys. I realized that it would be a lose-lose situation.

I groaned and rolled over on my back. I stared at the ceiling for a while. I decided to take a nap. If I slept, then the faster this day would be over with. It would mean the faster tomorrow came also and I was dreading it. At the moment, I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. I was really hoping that this week would fly by.

I rolled over on my side and stared blankly at the wall. I began thinking of mom as I slowly fell asleep.

X

I woke up shaking. I had a nightmare. It was more like flashbacks. Flashbacks from growing up. From my mom’s abusive boyfriends to me being bullied. It was playing over and over in my head. I was guessing that I hadn’t screamed or the guys would be in my room. I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. I laid my head on my knees and began to cry. Why did mom have to die? Why couldn’t she still be here? Life didn’t seem fair to me. Everything bad had to happen to me. Why did life seem to hate me? I missed my mom so much. I never knew my dad, and never wanted to. I blamed him for anything bad most of the time. I knew it wasn’t mine or my mom’s fault. It was everyone else’s. We didn’t deserve it. I cried for about ten more minutes. I used the back of my hand to wipe the tears away. I didn’t want any of the guys to find out about me crying. They would just think I was a cry baby. I laid back down. A few more tears fell down my face and onto the pillow. I closed my eyes and wished to never wake up. If only that wish would come true. Wishes never did come true though. Not for me at least. I tried to think of anything that wouldn’t cause flashbacks. I just wanted to sleep. I laid there thinking about nothing as I slowly started to fall back to sleep. Hopefully this time, I would sleep for awhile without waking up from a real nightmare.