Catch Up With Fate

I was a headless chicken, pretty much. Pacing the backstage room, check. Waving my hands and arms like a mad woman, check. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe, like I was never going to remember the lyrics, like I’d do or say something really embarrassing on stage: check, check and check.

To sum it up: I felt like I was going to die. From nerves, but you know what I mean. Originally I’d told Viktor to stay far away from me just before the show. He’d honestly wanted to haul Niklas and Elina and whoever else was there to sweep in and say hello! Now I was seriously regretting that. I wanted a hug. Scratch that, I needed a hug. I was maybe probably being dramatic, but that’s how I felt. There were a lot of people out there and it’d been a long time since I’d stood on a stage like this!

The next best thing was to try to call him, if he would even hear or answer I had no idea. He may have already been in the crowd with the others. I'd asked the guy who seemed to be in charge, Daniel, how they went about VIP’s/celebrities at their club. He had told me that there was some sort of lounge area where they could see the show relatively undisturbed. I gave him credit for the fact that he didn’t bat an eyelid when I had him put a group under the name Stålberg. Not a very common name in Chicago, I guessed, and any sort of Blackhawks sounding names were iffy either way.

“Is something wrong? Did anything happen?”

Relief flooded me when he did pick up. The noise was there, but it wasn’t that bad and I knew his voice well, so it was easier to pick out.

“Tell me something in Swedish,” I blurted and somewhere in the room one of the guys snorted, which I chose to ignore.

“Uhm, okay?” Viktor said slowly and then proceeded to tell me (again) that we were going to do well and that I was really good at what I was doing, so not to worry and that he was looking forward to tomorrow. The mention of tomorrow didn’t necessarily make me calmer. Sometime after breakfast he had declared that we were going on a date the next day. I only got the gist of it (like always), but it was more the sound of the language and his voice that had the calming effect.

“Tack,” (thanks) I said sheepishly, realizing I was definitely a basket case for doing something like that.

“Inga problem. Du ska gör bra,“ (No problem. You’ll do great,) he answered, still in Swedish.

“See you after the show,” I told him and we hung up.

“I knew it,” Adam grinned at me smugly. “You two so got something going.”

“I know a lot of people that speak Swedish,” I gave as a defence, but everyone knew it anyway.

“None of which make you smile like that, Lady Sunshine,” Hayden grinned. Seemed like that nickname was going to stick.

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes and put my phone away.

The band before us finished playing a little later and after a few minutes of rearranging the stage (just slightly, with three bands playing they had set up a drum kit that everybody was to use), we were on.

When it was time to go out, I blindly grabbed someone’s hand to squeeze, getting Hayden’s, who squeezed back and gave me a wink. Ready or not, here we come.

For most of our set Dillon did the talking, which I was really thankful for. It took me at least a song and a half to stop feeling like throwing up, but then I started having fun and even bantered with him a bit, which made the audience laugh, so I guess that was good. Dillon’s and my voice came together very nicely when harmonizing with each other, which was really great. Some of the songs he sang lead and I harmonized, the rest I was the lead singer and he harmonized. If needed Jared and Hayden could also sing backup vocals.

We had done all the songs we had on the list and I was feeling awesome for finishing it without a major flub up, when Hayden nudged me and gave me a look. It felt a little bit like that scene in Dirty Dancing where Baby nods to Johnny that she’d do the jump lift thingy. It was the same confirmation I gave with nodding that moment. Dillon picked up on it immediately and did a little intro about how I was new in the band and was going to send us off with the song that had convinced them to pick me as the new female singer. I took a deep breath and stepped in front of the microphone stand.

We hadn’t practiced this song together, but they seemed to know the right chords anyway. I started out unaccompanied, but after a few lines Hayden swept in with that guitar pattern and things just went, or should I say exploded, from there. With all that backup it was more fun to do the song and the crowd loved it, but that didn’t make it easier or less painful to sing it. I gave it my all, even on the risk of ruining my voice for the rest of the night. You know how some singers bend their knees a little when they sing really strong notes (Christina Aguilera does it sometimes)? It wasn’t only the singing that almost brought me to my knees.

.

“Oh my God, you fucking rocked that thing so hard, Tasha!” Dillon jumped on me in a hug when we were back in the backstage room.

“You practiced it,” I accused breathlessly.

“Yup,” Hayden beamed, not in the least bit looking sorry. “Knew you’d do it.”

“I hate you,” I pouted, but then celebrated with them, enjoying the rush of adrenaline. Everyone was in a really good mood, obviously, and it was just a great atmosphere to be in. We took a few well deserved minutes to enjoy the moment.

“Are we packing up later?” I asked and, after the guys confirmed that, followed Dillon who was marching off to find Diane and the rest. Just for fun I jumped on Adam’s back, who was walking in front of me. Surprisingly he reached for my knees immediately and didn’t complain at all, he only laughed as he regained his balance.

“Tasha’s drinks are on us,” Dillon declared with a grin over his shoulder aimed at me. I was pretty sure that either way I wouldn’t have been paying for my drinks, but this was really nice of them.

“Thanks guys!” I said loudly, waving from Adam’s back still. When we reached the door to the crowd he had to let me down, but it had been fun while it lasted. “Thanks,” I yelled into his ear.

“Welcome, princess,” he yelled back with a grin and took my wrist to pull me where they had spotted our friends. Diane was an explosive ball of excitement, she screamed my ear off, obviously well on her way to buzzed. Some other friends of the guys also congratulated me and told me how well I’d done. My cheeks already hurt from smiling so much and ‘thanks!’ kind of lost its meaning through overuse. All while I was trying to find Viktor and the rest.

“I didn’t know you were this good!” a familiar voice said from behind then and I turned around to see Corey smile at me.

“Corey! Hi! I didn’t know you’d be here!” I beamed and threw my arms around his neck in a hug, which in hindsight may have been a little overenthusiastic given our situation, but I was hyper so I didn’t think about it at all.

“Came with the others,” he nodded and now I could also see the Swedes approaching. “Great show, you guys really killed it. Didn’t know you were in a band to be honest...”

“She’s only been in the band for about a week,” Viktor explained with a proud grin and gave me a squeeze.

”I told you, you’d be great! And you did the song!” he grinned at me, the Swedish easy to understand for its shortness.

“I know,” I shrugged and also greeted Niklas and Elina, who like always looked very fashionable and well put together. Next to her it was usually impossible to look great unless you were a fashionista as well. As I tended not to be, I usually looked a little plain Jane-ish next to her, like right now, although I had dressed up for the show.

“The guys practiced ‘Rolling in the Deep’ secretly,” I told Viktor.

“I know,” he grinned and made a face when I slapped at his massive upper arm.

“Just wait till you get home,” I joked.

“Here, drink something,” Diane appeared out of thin air and pressed some drink into my hand. I sniffed it and made a face. “You had two of those two weeks ago and you said you liked them, drink, girl,” she grinned and disappeared.

“Hello, reason for my hangover on Vik’s birthday,” I joked to the group and carefully took a sip as they laughed. “Yup, very hello.”

“Maybe I should take that away,” Viktor pointed out.

“No, I’ll have this and then you’ll help me to only have soft drinks for the rest of the night,” I shook my head and took another sip. “Kind of reminds me of Doc Brown, I could get drunk just off the smell!”

“Back to the Future is great,” Corey smiled.

“Very.”

.

It was a little hard to stick with my people throughout the course of the night, there were a on of people that wanted to talk to me (and them, Blackhawks, hello?) and also a lot of guys that wanted to buy me a drink. I also ran into a few people from the other bands, most of whom told me ‘good show’ and I them. One guy was pretty rude though, which was especially annoying because he was in the band that won the contest.

It felt like one of those elimination sections of a casting show on TV, how we stood in a huddle and I was squeezing both Hayden’s and Dillon’s hands. When they announced the other band had won the spot, everyone around us offered sympathy and proclaimed we’d been better. It certainly was disappointing because we’d put so much work into it the last week. I felt really bad for the guys, because it hit them harder than me, I’d only been in the band for a week. Maybe, for a little, I also feared that it was my fault in part, because I’d been nervous and took so long to be in(to) the show onstage. I’d never seen or heard them before, so I didn’t know the difference, but I couldn’t help but wonder.

“I’m so sorry,” I told Hayden, frowning.

“It’s not your fault, Tasha, don’t worry,” he assured me sweetly. “I mean... I don’t know what they did to win this. If your ‘Rolling in the Deep’ couldn’t convince them, I don’t know what could. They probably paid them or whatever,” he shrugged.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere else,” Jay suggested. “Tash, you in?”

“I don’t know, do you want to go home?” I turned to Viktor, who obviously was my ride.

“If you want to stick around, we will,” he told me.

“Where are we going?” I asked Jay and Dillon cheered.

“My uncle’s bar, obviously,” he declared and dragged Diane with him to the backstage door where their instruments still were.

“I’ll meet you outside?” Viktor nodded and sent me off.

“What’s the deal with all the hockey people?” Jamison asked once we were in the room we had been assigned. Each band had been given their own room, down the hallway I could see the other unsuccessful group also packing up. “Are they coming?”

“Probably,” I shrugged. He let out a dissatisfied grunt and turned to his stick case.

“They’re her friends, Jamison,” Jayden pointed out. “If they want to come with, it’s totally fine.” I wasn’t sure whom he was telling this to, I was also confused why Jay was suddenly so grumpy about it.

“What’s going on?” I asked slowly.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Hayden tried to assure me, but I wasn’t buying it. Nevertheless I couldn’t really say any more because I didn’t know what was up. When we came out and the instruments had been loaded into Adam’s Mom’s van, we split up into the respective vehicles.

Dillon’s uncle’s bar was a lot more my type of thing than the club/venue we had just been at. They had a stage, too, and the big space in the middle allowed for a nice crowd in front of it, but it was a lot warmer and cosier than the other place. We got a table in a corner and were immediately treated to drinks when ‘Uncle Davis’ sent over a waitress. Despite Jamison’s grumpiness my ‘hockey people’ fit in quite well, conversing with everyone and not making a big deal about themselves at all.

I sat contently between Hayden and Viktor and enjoyed winding down with people that I got along with well. It was a bit of a challenge to keep it on the down low with Viktor, although not much had happened between us. Maybe it was just the alcohol in me or more probably just him being his usual charming self that had me want to look at him a lot (not to say I was staring) and I also had this very big urge to hold his hand. I felt a little silly for all that, but I couldn’t help it. Maybe that was my own fault, for telling him he couldn’t kiss me just yet? Guess the walls I had tried to build up were crumbling majorly, now that I had decided to let him in.

One time Viktor put his hand on my knee for a few moments and that really got my butterflies going. His face was a picture of innocence when I looked at him, but it had definitely been intentional. Maybe he knew the effect he had on me too well... By the time we went home, I really needed to go to bed and sleep this off.