Catch Up With Fate

“I can’t believe how many people are here!” I said to Viktor, almost falling into him when someone tried to pass by. “Did you do this?”

“It was a spontaneous idea,” he shrugged. “Just wanted to show you how many people care about you and are going to miss you.” I had to hand it to him, he didn’t even blink as he said that, looking straight into my eyes. Swallowing harshly I only maintained eye contact for a moment before I had to look away.

There were so many people here and it seemed like more were turning up every 10 minutes. Each member of the band with their girlfriends, Adam’s sister, Niklas and Elina, Corey, Kaner, Brent and Dana, Sharpie and Abby, Duncan and Kelly-Rae, John Scott and his wife Danielle, Troy and Carmen, another few people from college... As much as I was stunned that the apartment could hold so many people, I was even more surprised that they were even there.

Viktor grabbed my arm when I turned to leave and gave me another meaningful look. I knew what he was trying to do, show me that Jon was right, that there were a ton of people here that mattered. I had no words, so all I could do was to squeeze his hand and go to where Diane had waved me over to her.

“So,” she said, taking a sip of the beer that had come from somewhere. Someone seemed to have taken care of drinks and snacks, my guess was that Viktor had sent someone to the store with a couple dollar bills, because all that stuff had definitely not been at the apartment earlier.

“So what?”

Before she could clarify, two people entered the room that I had not expected to see at all. You could feel the atmosphere change for a moment, but when I made no move and Viktor acted completely normal around CC and Jon, everyone went back to whatever they had been doing.

“That’s your sister? Jesus, you two look alike,” Diane chuckled.

“Why does everyone say that? We don’t!” I groaned.

“Whatever you say. You know that Hayden’s practically dying right now, right? In one room with so many Blackhawks?”

I just shrugged and stole Viktor’s full bottle of beer as he walked by. When he gave me a look, I replied with a cheeky grin as I took a sip.

“You two make me sick,” Diane sighed. “No, actually, you make me sick. He has clearly just had the misfortune to fall in love with a heartless woman.”

“Excuse me?!” I almost choked on the beer.

“The fuck, Tasha? What the fuck are you doing? You see all these people here? It's cause they fucking love you. Are you really so damn blind you can't see that? And don't even get me started on loverboy. He fucking adores you and you're treating him like shit, leaving him behind, just like that? You’re a fucking idiot if you do that and you deserve every ounce of heartbreak and misery in Germany.”

I just gaped at her with my mouth slightly open and my eyes wide. So far I’d gotten to know Diane as a straight forward, outspoken young woman, but I’d never expected her to speak up like this. “But-“

“So what if your sister picked her boyfriend over you? Screw her, the world doesn’t revolve around her. If she doesn’t want you around, it’s her loss, not yours. Don’t let her fuck things over for you. You’ve got your own shit going on, the band, your friends. You don’t need her around to be you, you just gotta pull your head outta your ass and see everyone else that’s around to support you. You’re Tasha, not ‘CC’s sister’. Be yourself and enjoy life while you've got the chance.”

Before I could even say something, Dillon came over.

“That facial expression is my cue, looks like Miss Diane has had one of her sucker punches. Excuse us,” he said and steered his girlfriend away.

What was with it today? Wasn’t Valentine’s Day supposed to be a loving, joyful, peaceful day? Apparently not, people seemed to just love telling me off. It wasn’t much of a Valentine’s Day anyway with me leaving tomorrow and so many people around. If I had thought of it, I would have done something nice for Viktor.

“You okay?” He appeared by my side and lightly placed his giant hand on the small of my back.

“Uhm, I guess...?” I offered slowly.

“Tasha!” Turning my head I found Kaner, who’d called my name. He was waving me over and with Viktor hot on my heels I went there.

“What do you want?” I asked with crossed arms. Who knew what kinds of things he would come up with now.

“An explanation,” he told me. “Why him?” Patrick pointed his beer bottle at Viktor. “I mean, you’re obviously into blondes with blue eyes and a scoring touch, so why not me?”

I let out a small laugh, relieved that the explanation wasn’t about me leaving. “Well, let me see,” I started and handed my bottle to Viktor so I could count on my fingers.

“First off: not American.” Everyone laughed. “Not short. Not obnoxious. Not a man whore.” That one got more laughter and some oooh’s, but Pat took it with a smile. “Has manners. Bilingual. Swedish... what else? Oh, yes, went to college...”

“Guess you’re outta luck, buddy,” Sharpie laughed. “Good on you, Staly.”

I turned my head to give Viktor a smile, but for once he didn’t smile back, he just looked at me. Then I realized that I had just stated eight very good reasons, with many more going unnamed, of why Viktor was a great guy for me. Eight good reasons not to leave him.

Surprisingly everyone filed out at a semi-decent time, leaving behind a very messy apartment. Viktor helped straighten up most of it and I offered to do the vacuuming and mopping tomorrow.

“Did you like it?” he asked, accepting the plate I handed him, and started to dry it off.

“A lot,” I nodded. “Thanks so much, it was a great idea.”

He looked at me and I knew the unspoken question stood in the air, of whether this was enough to make me change my mind. I said nothing and like earlier in the day, that spoke volumes without a single world, but not in the way that Viktor clearly expected, judging from the way his face fell. I wanted to hug and kiss the shit out of him for organizing this, but I couldn’t. I kidded myself with reasoning that I was elbows deep in the dish water, he definitely wouldn’t have cared about that.

“Remember how I said I brought you something from the road?” he asked me when we were finished and every plate and glass was back in place, clean. “Never got around giving it to you.”

He disappeared to his room for a moment and came back with a big gift bag in his arms. “Here.”

“Viktor,” I said slowly, I couldn’t believe he was still giving me a present despite everything.

“I saw it and, uh, I guess it’s pretty cheesy, but I thought it could be for when I’m gone and you need someone to hug... guess it still fits now,” he explained sheepishly as I pulled a blue-grey stuffed baby seal from the bag.

“Oh my God,” I cooed, immediately hugging the plush animal to my chest. Viktor let out a laugh. “It’s adorable, thank you so much!” I threw my free arm around his neck and kissed him. There was some wistfulness in the kiss and that brought me back to the bottom of things pretty quickly. Just looking into his eyes when we pulled away, filled with sadness and longing, made me tear up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as a tear ran down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb and remained silent.

Ever since lunch, since Jon’s speech and especially since Diane’s, I knew deep down what the right thing to do was. I’d needed this evening to realize it, I needed to see these people and the painful feeling of having to say goodbye to them. To make me realize what was very dominant and clear in my heart now as I looked at him.

Without a word I turned away and went to my room, to the pile my bags formed in the corner, to the backpack that was my carry-on bag. In it there was a folder that contained my passport, my visa and student information. And my ticket.

I took it out and took a few deep breaths, just looking at it for a moment. For once I was going to let my heart win over my stubborn, stubborn head.

Viktor stood in the same spot as I had left him in, only that his shoulders had dropped even more and he really looked like he was about to cry. I hated myself for causing that. Wordlessly I stepped in front of him. I picked up his right hand, placed my ticket in it, closed his hand and let go. The actions spoke what I couldn’t quite find the words to say.

His eyes looked lighter now, but he was visibly unsure of what exactly this meant and what he was supposed to do now. So I took a deep breath and spoke.

“I don’t care what you do with it, rip it up, burn it, give it to someone else, frame it to remind me to never be this stupid again... whatever. Just take it away,” I said and he started to grin.

With every passing moment his grin widened and eventually even I had to laugh. Viktor took the ticket, ripped it in two and put it into his back pocket for now. Then he grabbed the seal I was somehow still holding, threw it to the side and picked me right up from the ground, into a big kiss. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, but kissed him back with everything I had. It wasn’t until I could taste the salt that I noticed I was crying.

“I’m sorry,” I told him again in a raspy voice, but he just smiled. “You didn't deserve for me to put you through that. You’ve been completely wonderful to me and I go and-“

“Tasha, just shut up,” he grinned and kissed me again.