Sequel: If We Ever Meet Again ›
Status: Active!
Catch Up With Fate
VI
Friday was a short day for me in terms of class and usually I would have worked, but Mrs. Schu had asked me to take a full day shift on Saturday instead which I’d agreed to. It filled a weekend day without plans (and without Viktor, away game in Nashville), but it left me with an empty Friday afternoon and night. It was crazy how much time was suddenly unfilled because I didn’t do things with my sister and just hung out with her. At the old apartment we’d always found something to fill our time with. There’d always been something to do, otherwise we’d made something up.
At the moment there was no ‘we’. Sad, but true. That was my realization that afternoon. I had no idea how long it would be until there would be a ‘we’ again. Not for a while probably. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one that was pissed.
In the middle of my reverie the front door opened and Viktor was back from wherever he’d been. Sitting on the couch and staring holes into the air had impaired my quick reflexes and he definitely saw me wipe off my cheeks. Shit.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Seeing girls cry always sends guys into a frenzy and Viktor was no different. With two big steps he was by the couch with a worried expression on his face.
“I don’t...” want to talk about it, I finished in my mind but just shook my head. He looked helpless like he wanted to do something but didn’t know what. “She hates me,” I blurted unintentionally. No one had to tell him who ‘she’ was, he knew.
“She doesn’t,” he was quick to deny and sat down next to me. “She doesn’t hate you, Tasha.” I shook my head. She probably did and I couldn’t really blame her. I would hate selfish me, too. “Did she say that?” he asked fearfully. If she had, this... thing would have reached proportions... huge, much bigger than expected, much, much bigger.
“No, but I could tell. I saw her in the cafeteria today, first she glared daggers at me then she acted like I wasn’t there. She completely ignored me.”
Viktor said nothing, probably didn’t know what to say and went for the option where he most likely couldn’t get in trouble by saying the wrong thing. Smart boy. “But that doesn’t mean she hates you,” he said finally. I shrugged.
“I miss her,” I admitted and felt the liquid gather in my eyes. “I didn’t think it would be like this,” I whispered. All I wanted was for her to be well and happy and I couldn’t stand the thought that I was the one that was hurting her now.
“No one did,” Viktor said softly.
“Do you think I’m being selfish? That I’m being a brat?” I asked and looked at him.
“You’re hurt and you need time to figure it out and get over it. Some people need some distance to do that. It’s better for you to take that distance now than to pretend you’re fine,” he answered cryptically. Did taking that time and distance for myself make me selfish though?
I swallowed down the tears and blinked a few times. Selfish or not, this situation wasn’t going to just go away, even if I moved right back into the old apartment. The damage was done.
“I guess,” I said and stood up. “I gotta do my homework.” It was an escape and we both knew it. Before I could fully turn away, Viktor had taken a hold of my wrist lightly.
“It’ll be okay,” he said with a squeeze of my hand.
“How do you know?” No one could know the final outcome of this, yet he sounded so sure.
“You love each other.”
We did. I loved my sister so much. This time I wasn’t able to keep my tears contained, they quickly rolled down my cheeks before I could do anything. I tried to turn away, spare him the sight or maybe just hide myself but he wouldn’t let me. He took me by the shoulders and looked at me, but for only a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. Faintly I was reminded of the unprompted hug Marc had given me in New York, how he’d smelled, how I’d felt better... But I didn’t want to think of that. New York was mostly a bad memory now, even if the redhead wasn’t to blame for that. This was different, too. Viktor was different, he smelled different, felt different, obviously. But also, he was my friend. I had no idea what Marc was.
I tried my best not to cry into Viktor’s chest and leave wet spots of mascara and tears on him, but with crying it’s always ‘once you start, you can’t stop’. The hug only made it worse, too. Every now and then he rubbed my back a little but otherwise he just stood there hugging me. He didn’t say anything and while I had hated the silence before, now I didn’t.
The hug was long, really long, but I didn’t know how long exactly it was. It could have been an hour or a few minutes that felt like hours. What I did know was that I probably owed him a new shirt and that I felt a lot better. Sometimes a hug is more helpful than any words could be.
“Sorry about that,” I sniffled when I’d finally calmed down. I was embarrassed that I had just collapsed like this, I hadn’t meant to involve him in this.
“Do you feel better?” he asked, letting go of me slowly.
“A lot, thank you,” I nodded sheepishly.
“Good,” he smiled lightly.
I really did have some homework to do, which was crazy because it was the first freakin’ week of the semester, but I didn’t really get much done. It wasn’t that my mind went off track so much, that I was still thinking of my sister all the time when I was supposed to be reading and summing up. It was more like I was reading but nothing stuck in my memory. Reading the same sentence five times still let it seem unfamiliar and illogical as it had been the first time. Maybe my head was telling me it was full and empty at the same time. Deciding to take a nap I put my study stuff on the floor and closed my eyes. It was the first time I didn’t have trouble falling asleep.
Saturday morning I woke up and had no recollection of the previous night, disoriented from the first deep and restful sleep in more than a week. I was in my bed like I remembered having been to read the text for class, but I was under the covers, my hoodie was on the chair in the corner which I didn’t remember. Everything was quiet in the apartment as far as I could hear which made sense: Viktor was in Nashville and would return sometime tonight. It wasn’t early, but it wasn’t late either, 9am. I had to be at work by noon just in time for the lunch rush hour, oh joy.
With no one there to disturb me or tell me to get a move on, I stayed in bed for another while and only rolled out in time to grab some food and get changed for work. On the kitchen counter I found Viktor’s car keys as promised. I didn’t think he would really let me drive his car, guys were supposed to be finicky with that! But alas, there were the keys and papers, allowing me to stall going to work for another little while, because going by car was faster than going by bus.
.
Working the lunch hour was almost never fun. A lot of people in the restaurant and a lot of people in the bakery wanting their lunch always made for a crowded, tense, rushed environment. Today I was at the restaurant but it usually didn’t make a difference. The worst was when there were customers with such thick accents that I had trouble understanding them. If they were tourists, they usually were understanding about it and we worked it out with our hands and feet so to speak. If they were American though, say with the infamous Southern Drawl or something similar, I was in trouble. I’d gotten a lot better but today was just not my lucky day regarding that.
“I swear to God, if I hear one more ‘y’all’ today, I will snap,” I told Mrs. Schu who only chuckled and gave me a secret wink of understanding.
“There’s a German family, just came in,” she told me then and laughed when my face lit up. “I put them in your section, viel Spaß.” (have fun)
The smile on my face was not at all forced as I made my way over to said table. I loved meeting German tourists and Mrs. Schu never minded if I chatted with them a little longer than need be. Any chance to speak my mother tongue was great, I spoke it very rarely by now.
“Hallo, mein Name ist Natascha, ich darf Sie heute bedienen,” (Hello, my name is Natascha, I may serve you today [this is a common German phrase, no equivalent in English]) I greeted the family of four, Mom, Dad, a boy of maybe 12 and a girl of 14 or 15 years. Especially the kids perked up at hearing I spoke their language.
Taking the family’s order was easy now and I found out they were from Kiel, a city in the very North of Germany. Christmas break was long over so I wondered how they were taking a family vacation in the middle of the school year. When I brought their drinks and took their lunch order, I found out that they actually lived a little outside Chicago, had moved for Dad’s new job. That explained the kids’ perking up with the German, maybe they were as desperate for some familiarity as me. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to leave behind Germany at 12 and 14, such defining stages of personal development. Hopefully the kids would do well and come to love Illinois just like I had over the last few months.
After lunch there came the natural pre-dinner slump then things picked back up for dinner of course. A full shift, especially late in the evening usually left me questioning why I was even doing this. Then I got my tips and pay check and I knew why.
For the second time that week Mrs. Schu sent me home with stuff from the bakery, this time with bread and a leftover piece of Black Forest cake, my favorite cake. This time the goods made it to Viktor’s apartment, eating cake and driving just wasn’t a very good idea. In the end it was so much more enjoyable to eat the cake in peace and not scarf it down. With my belly full of cake I crawled into bed and dropped dead, I didn’t even hear Viktor get in later.
.
“Oh my God, she lives!” Viktor let the front door fall closed behind him and unwrapped himself from his coat and other winter essentials.
“Bleh, I guess,” I shrugged and turned off the TV. “Congrats on the goal, Vik.”
He gave me a small smile despite his goal his team had lost, but they would get a chance to redeem themselves tonight. “Thanks.”
“What’s for game day lunch usually?” I wanted to know then.
“Pasta and meat,” came the typical man answer. I chuckled and rolled off the couch. “You gonna cook?”
I laughed at his hopeful expression. “Sure, I haven’t eaten yet.” He looked like he was mentally chanting ‘yes!’ or ‘score!’.
“Thanks.”
I nodded and disappeared into the kitchen to prepare lunch.
.
“Ugh, I don’t wannaaaa,” I whined when my phone just kept on buzzing right through lunch.
“Don’t wanna what?” Viktor asked curiously.
“Couple college friends are watching the game at Dillon’s and having drinks at his uncle’s bar afterwards. Won’t get off my case to join them,” I explained with a sigh.
“If you don’t want to watch the game, meet them after,” he suggested.
“They’re just gonna get drunk afterwards, tomorrow’s no class,” I sighed and poked at my pasta.
“How come?”
“Martin Luther King Day,” I told him. “Also tus cumpleaños, Mr. Stalberg.”
Viktor grinned. “I didn’t forget, but thanks.”
I let out a laugh. “What do you have planned? Want me to bake you a cake with 30 candles or something?”
“30? Really?” He raised his eyebrows but wasn’t offended in the least. “No practice tomorrow and no game until Saturday so we’re going out tomorrow night. Other than that no plans. Probably dinner with whoever wants to go. If you don’t have to work, you can come. If you want.”
“No work but I don’t know,” I said slowly. Viktor nodded in understanding and I felt bad, because it was his birthday and that should be reason enough to suck it up. “Do you want me to come?”
He looked up. “Of course,” he said like it wasn’t even a question to him. “But you don’t have to, I know it’s difficult and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Tasha.”
“I’ll be there,” I simply said and I would be. I wasn’t going to let C.A. ruin Viktor’s birthday. If Viktor wanted me there, I was going to be there.
My phone buzzing ripped through the short silence and he laughed. “Go out with your friends, Tasha, have some fun for once.”
“Are you calling me boring?!” I exaggeratedly gasped. “How dare you!”
“I didn’t say any of that, that was all your own interpretation,” he told me and disappeared to his room for pregame nap after he had put his dishes into the sink.
“You should have become a lawyer,” I joked.
“Nah, I’d have to wear suits even more than I already do,” he shook his head.
“Look good on you though,” I blurted and was glad he couldn’t see me blush. Damn.
“Thanks,” he chuckled. “I’ll be up in 2 hours.”
“I wish I’d get paid for making a nap part of my job routine, too,” I pouted.
“And here I thought teachers just slept all day in class?”
“You!” I grabbed the dish towel and unsuccessfully tried to throw it at him. It didn’t get very far.
“Glad you’re not a baseball or basketball player, Tash,” were Viktor’s quick parting words, before his bedroom door shielded him from a real attack.
“I’m glad, too,” I mumbled to myself, thinking of the German motto ‘Sport ist Mord’: sport is murder.
At the moment there was no ‘we’. Sad, but true. That was my realization that afternoon. I had no idea how long it would be until there would be a ‘we’ again. Not for a while probably. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one that was pissed.
In the middle of my reverie the front door opened and Viktor was back from wherever he’d been. Sitting on the couch and staring holes into the air had impaired my quick reflexes and he definitely saw me wipe off my cheeks. Shit.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Seeing girls cry always sends guys into a frenzy and Viktor was no different. With two big steps he was by the couch with a worried expression on his face.
“I don’t...” want to talk about it, I finished in my mind but just shook my head. He looked helpless like he wanted to do something but didn’t know what. “She hates me,” I blurted unintentionally. No one had to tell him who ‘she’ was, he knew.
“She doesn’t,” he was quick to deny and sat down next to me. “She doesn’t hate you, Tasha.” I shook my head. She probably did and I couldn’t really blame her. I would hate selfish me, too. “Did she say that?” he asked fearfully. If she had, this... thing would have reached proportions... huge, much bigger than expected, much, much bigger.
“No, but I could tell. I saw her in the cafeteria today, first she glared daggers at me then she acted like I wasn’t there. She completely ignored me.”
Viktor said nothing, probably didn’t know what to say and went for the option where he most likely couldn’t get in trouble by saying the wrong thing. Smart boy. “But that doesn’t mean she hates you,” he said finally. I shrugged.
“I miss her,” I admitted and felt the liquid gather in my eyes. “I didn’t think it would be like this,” I whispered. All I wanted was for her to be well and happy and I couldn’t stand the thought that I was the one that was hurting her now.
“No one did,” Viktor said softly.
“Do you think I’m being selfish? That I’m being a brat?” I asked and looked at him.
“You’re hurt and you need time to figure it out and get over it. Some people need some distance to do that. It’s better for you to take that distance now than to pretend you’re fine,” he answered cryptically. Did taking that time and distance for myself make me selfish though?
I swallowed down the tears and blinked a few times. Selfish or not, this situation wasn’t going to just go away, even if I moved right back into the old apartment. The damage was done.
“I guess,” I said and stood up. “I gotta do my homework.” It was an escape and we both knew it. Before I could fully turn away, Viktor had taken a hold of my wrist lightly.
“It’ll be okay,” he said with a squeeze of my hand.
“How do you know?” No one could know the final outcome of this, yet he sounded so sure.
“You love each other.”
We did. I loved my sister so much. This time I wasn’t able to keep my tears contained, they quickly rolled down my cheeks before I could do anything. I tried to turn away, spare him the sight or maybe just hide myself but he wouldn’t let me. He took me by the shoulders and looked at me, but for only a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. Faintly I was reminded of the unprompted hug Marc had given me in New York, how he’d smelled, how I’d felt better... But I didn’t want to think of that. New York was mostly a bad memory now, even if the redhead wasn’t to blame for that. This was different, too. Viktor was different, he smelled different, felt different, obviously. But also, he was my friend. I had no idea what Marc was.
I tried my best not to cry into Viktor’s chest and leave wet spots of mascara and tears on him, but with crying it’s always ‘once you start, you can’t stop’. The hug only made it worse, too. Every now and then he rubbed my back a little but otherwise he just stood there hugging me. He didn’t say anything and while I had hated the silence before, now I didn’t.
The hug was long, really long, but I didn’t know how long exactly it was. It could have been an hour or a few minutes that felt like hours. What I did know was that I probably owed him a new shirt and that I felt a lot better. Sometimes a hug is more helpful than any words could be.
“Sorry about that,” I sniffled when I’d finally calmed down. I was embarrassed that I had just collapsed like this, I hadn’t meant to involve him in this.
“Do you feel better?” he asked, letting go of me slowly.
“A lot, thank you,” I nodded sheepishly.
“Good,” he smiled lightly.
I really did have some homework to do, which was crazy because it was the first freakin’ week of the semester, but I didn’t really get much done. It wasn’t that my mind went off track so much, that I was still thinking of my sister all the time when I was supposed to be reading and summing up. It was more like I was reading but nothing stuck in my memory. Reading the same sentence five times still let it seem unfamiliar and illogical as it had been the first time. Maybe my head was telling me it was full and empty at the same time. Deciding to take a nap I put my study stuff on the floor and closed my eyes. It was the first time I didn’t have trouble falling asleep.
Saturday morning I woke up and had no recollection of the previous night, disoriented from the first deep and restful sleep in more than a week. I was in my bed like I remembered having been to read the text for class, but I was under the covers, my hoodie was on the chair in the corner which I didn’t remember. Everything was quiet in the apartment as far as I could hear which made sense: Viktor was in Nashville and would return sometime tonight. It wasn’t early, but it wasn’t late either, 9am. I had to be at work by noon just in time for the lunch rush hour, oh joy.
With no one there to disturb me or tell me to get a move on, I stayed in bed for another while and only rolled out in time to grab some food and get changed for work. On the kitchen counter I found Viktor’s car keys as promised. I didn’t think he would really let me drive his car, guys were supposed to be finicky with that! But alas, there were the keys and papers, allowing me to stall going to work for another little while, because going by car was faster than going by bus.
.
Working the lunch hour was almost never fun. A lot of people in the restaurant and a lot of people in the bakery wanting their lunch always made for a crowded, tense, rushed environment. Today I was at the restaurant but it usually didn’t make a difference. The worst was when there were customers with such thick accents that I had trouble understanding them. If they were tourists, they usually were understanding about it and we worked it out with our hands and feet so to speak. If they were American though, say with the infamous Southern Drawl or something similar, I was in trouble. I’d gotten a lot better but today was just not my lucky day regarding that.
“I swear to God, if I hear one more ‘y’all’ today, I will snap,” I told Mrs. Schu who only chuckled and gave me a secret wink of understanding.
“There’s a German family, just came in,” she told me then and laughed when my face lit up. “I put them in your section, viel Spaß.” (have fun)
The smile on my face was not at all forced as I made my way over to said table. I loved meeting German tourists and Mrs. Schu never minded if I chatted with them a little longer than need be. Any chance to speak my mother tongue was great, I spoke it very rarely by now.
“Hallo, mein Name ist Natascha, ich darf Sie heute bedienen,” (Hello, my name is Natascha, I may serve you today [this is a common German phrase, no equivalent in English]) I greeted the family of four, Mom, Dad, a boy of maybe 12 and a girl of 14 or 15 years. Especially the kids perked up at hearing I spoke their language.
Taking the family’s order was easy now and I found out they were from Kiel, a city in the very North of Germany. Christmas break was long over so I wondered how they were taking a family vacation in the middle of the school year. When I brought their drinks and took their lunch order, I found out that they actually lived a little outside Chicago, had moved for Dad’s new job. That explained the kids’ perking up with the German, maybe they were as desperate for some familiarity as me. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to leave behind Germany at 12 and 14, such defining stages of personal development. Hopefully the kids would do well and come to love Illinois just like I had over the last few months.
After lunch there came the natural pre-dinner slump then things picked back up for dinner of course. A full shift, especially late in the evening usually left me questioning why I was even doing this. Then I got my tips and pay check and I knew why.
For the second time that week Mrs. Schu sent me home with stuff from the bakery, this time with bread and a leftover piece of Black Forest cake, my favorite cake. This time the goods made it to Viktor’s apartment, eating cake and driving just wasn’t a very good idea. In the end it was so much more enjoyable to eat the cake in peace and not scarf it down. With my belly full of cake I crawled into bed and dropped dead, I didn’t even hear Viktor get in later.
.
“Oh my God, she lives!” Viktor let the front door fall closed behind him and unwrapped himself from his coat and other winter essentials.
“Bleh, I guess,” I shrugged and turned off the TV. “Congrats on the goal, Vik.”
He gave me a small smile despite his goal his team had lost, but they would get a chance to redeem themselves tonight. “Thanks.”
“What’s for game day lunch usually?” I wanted to know then.
“Pasta and meat,” came the typical man answer. I chuckled and rolled off the couch. “You gonna cook?”
I laughed at his hopeful expression. “Sure, I haven’t eaten yet.” He looked like he was mentally chanting ‘yes!’ or ‘score!’.
“Thanks.”
I nodded and disappeared into the kitchen to prepare lunch.
.
“Ugh, I don’t wannaaaa,” I whined when my phone just kept on buzzing right through lunch.
“Don’t wanna what?” Viktor asked curiously.
“Couple college friends are watching the game at Dillon’s and having drinks at his uncle’s bar afterwards. Won’t get off my case to join them,” I explained with a sigh.
“If you don’t want to watch the game, meet them after,” he suggested.
“They’re just gonna get drunk afterwards, tomorrow’s no class,” I sighed and poked at my pasta.
“How come?”
“Martin Luther King Day,” I told him. “Also tus cumpleaños, Mr. Stalberg.”
Viktor grinned. “I didn’t forget, but thanks.”
I let out a laugh. “What do you have planned? Want me to bake you a cake with 30 candles or something?”
“30? Really?” He raised his eyebrows but wasn’t offended in the least. “No practice tomorrow and no game until Saturday so we’re going out tomorrow night. Other than that no plans. Probably dinner with whoever wants to go. If you don’t have to work, you can come. If you want.”
“No work but I don’t know,” I said slowly. Viktor nodded in understanding and I felt bad, because it was his birthday and that should be reason enough to suck it up. “Do you want me to come?”
He looked up. “Of course,” he said like it wasn’t even a question to him. “But you don’t have to, I know it’s difficult and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Tasha.”
“I’ll be there,” I simply said and I would be. I wasn’t going to let C.A. ruin Viktor’s birthday. If Viktor wanted me there, I was going to be there.
My phone buzzing ripped through the short silence and he laughed. “Go out with your friends, Tasha, have some fun for once.”
“Are you calling me boring?!” I exaggeratedly gasped. “How dare you!”
“I didn’t say any of that, that was all your own interpretation,” he told me and disappeared to his room for pregame nap after he had put his dishes into the sink.
“You should have become a lawyer,” I joked.
“Nah, I’d have to wear suits even more than I already do,” he shook his head.
“Look good on you though,” I blurted and was glad he couldn’t see me blush. Damn.
“Thanks,” he chuckled. “I’ll be up in 2 hours.”
“I wish I’d get paid for making a nap part of my job routine, too,” I pouted.
“And here I thought teachers just slept all day in class?”
“You!” I grabbed the dish towel and unsuccessfully tried to throw it at him. It didn’t get very far.
“Glad you’re not a baseball or basketball player, Tash,” were Viktor’s quick parting words, before his bedroom door shielded him from a real attack.
“I’m glad, too,” I mumbled to myself, thinking of the German motto ‘Sport ist Mord’: sport is murder.
