Hearts So Pure

For lunch, we all went for Mexican food at some Mexican place Jared had heard of. It sounded great, so we stuffed ourselves into a couple of cabs and were on our way.

We got in and it smelled like beans and chile. We took a seat at a round booth and started ordering drinks. Most of the boys got tequila, but Pat got Coke (he was seriously the most precious thing). Nicole and I ordered water. The waiter walked off and the door at the front of the restaurant swung open, and I watched as Josh walked in, Eric entering behind him. Kenny noticed too, and he called out, “Josh! Hey!”

Josh turned to us, and he smiled wide. “Hey guys!” he said, and they both walked towards us.

“What’s up?” Kennedy said, smiling at both of them.

“Just out for some lunch,” Eric answered, and I knew that Kennedy knew them both.

“Yeah us too,” Kenny said, and Josh turned to me. I stood up and hugged him, “Hey, Leah,” he said, his voice soft.

“Hey,” I said, “It’s nice to see you.”

He nodded, “Yeah. Hey me and Eric are going out again tonight. I think it would be cool if you came?”

I smiled at him, and I could feel Garrett staring at Josh. “Yeah,” I said to both Josh and Eric. “That sounds great.”

They nodded, and said their goodbyes. Soon they walked off to the other end of the restaurant, taking seats at a small table.

Kennedy smiled and said to me, “It’s cool that you’re making friends here, Leah. I wouldn’t want you to have to put up with only us all summer.”

We all laughed and soon the conversation drifted off to something else. We all ordered big plates of things like enchiladas and burritos, and I waved to Josh and Eric as we walked out.

“I’ll pick you up around 8!” Josh called out, and I nodded. I looked back at Garrett, and he was giving Josh a dirty look. Josh didn’t seen to notice, and soon he and Eric were engrossed in conversation again.

Back at the house, we all sat down to watch a movie Jared had picked out. It was some old, tacky zombie movie, but the boys were all over it. They watched in silence (something that was rare) as zombies took over the TV screen. It was actually pretty funny to see them so focused on something for once.

When the movie was over, I looked at my phone. I needed to start getting ready. I got up and walked to the shower, taking some clothes to change into.

When I felt the warm water on my skin, I knew that I wanted to stay in the shower for a long time. And hey, I had something like 2 whole hours to get ready, so why rush?

I leaned against the cold tile on the walls, relaxing. I must have stayed in the shower for a whole half an hour. I got out, stepping onto the tile with bare feet and wrapping a blue towel around me.

The door swung open, and Garrett walked in. He saw me and gasped. “Shit!” he said, turning around. But when he turned, the door swung shut, it had caught his shirt.

Garrett struggled to get his shirt free, while saying “Leah, I’m sorry! Fuck. I didn’t know you were in here. I thought you’d be out already. Shit, I’m sorry.”

His words came out fast, and I dropped my towel, out of pure shock. “Shit!” I said, diving to the ground for it.

Garrett got his shirt free and turned around, “I’m really-” he started to say, and he saw me trying to pick up the towel.

“Oh God. This is bad,” he said.

I managed to wrap the towel around me, and I was covered up again. Garrett was facing the wall again, his hands rubbing his head in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, Leah,” he said nervously.

I wanted to be angry, or embarrassed, and at some level I was, but honestly it was just really funny watching him there, struggling for words and rubbing his scalp nervously.

I started to giggle, unable to control myself. Garrett turned around slowly, hesitating, wanting to make sure I was covered up again before he looked. “Damn,” he said, starting to laugh, too.

“That was terrible,” he said. “I’m sorry,” and he had trouble getting the last word out, he was laughing so hard. I had a firm grip on my towel, and I said, “It’s okay. I took too long anyway. Sorry about that.”

He waved his hand, turning around and reaching for the door. “No I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you drop your towel…” he said.

I felt the embarrassment start to come back, wondering how much he’d seen. He’d seen me fully naked before, but that was last year. It was different now, us being “friends” and all.

“Yeah…” I said softly.

Garrett opened the door and walked out. “Have a nice time tonight with Josh,” he said, looking at me over his shoulder. I nodded, biting my lip.

He closed the door and I heard him open the door to his room, and a couple seconds later I heard it close again.

I sat down on the toilet seat in my towel and let out a loud sigh. “Shit..” I said to myself. I brushed my hair out of my face and got up, changing into my clothes for tonight.

When I got to this club with Josh and Eric, the music was loud, and I could barely hear anything else. We had been there for a while, dancing and drinking. We all had a nice time, and I told them I needed to use the restroom before we left. They nodded, and waited for me while I walked off.

When I got inside, I saw Janice at the mirror, fluffing her wavy brown hair in the mirror and making an “O” with her lips. She saw me walk in, and scoffed at me.

I rolled my eyes, and walked over to an empty stall. Before I could walk in, though, she said, “You know, he’s too good for you.”

I turned around. “Excuse me?” I said, and I could feel the anger in my red hot cheeks.

“Garrett. He’s too good for you. He told me about you. You’re a dirty skank.” she said, her last two words jutting out sharply.

I clenched my jaw and watched her, still fluffing her hair like we were talking about anything but this. “If he’s too good for anyone, it’s you.” I said. “And you don’t know what happened between us. And that’s just what it was. Between us,” I said, walking towards her. “Me and Garrett. Not you, you’re just some washed out groupie,” I said, and she turned to me, wide-eyed.

Before she could say anything I walked out. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I could feel my confidence fade away. I started to choke up, knowing that Garrett had spoken to her about me.

I found Eric and Josh, and they were immediately concerned. “Oh my God, Leah,” Eric said softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, and wiped my face. “Can we just go?”

Josh frowned, taking my hand. “Yeah, honey, let’s go.”

We walked to his car and got in. Once I sat down though, I let it all out. I began sobbing violently, and my shoulders started shaking. Eric sat in the back with me while Josh drove. “Tell us what happened,” he said softly.

I sniffed, and looked up at him, wiping away my tears. “Garrett’s been seeing this girl,” I said. “I saw her in the bathroom, and she said awful things about me, and-” and I started to cry again, collapsing against the door of the car.

Eric brought me to his chest, and started to rub my hair. “It’s okay, sweetie,” he said, and I dug my face into his chest.

We drove up to John’s house, and Josh offered to walk me in. By that time, I had calmed down a little. “No, I’m fine,” I said.

“I’m really sorry about ruining your night, guys,” I said, looking at both of them.

Josh turned around from the back seat, and Eric placed his hand on my shoulder. “Honey you didn’t ruin our night. That bitch is the one who ruined anything,”

We all laughed nervously, then I told them goodnight. I walked up to the door, still a little shaken up. The tears had dried on my face, and I was only sniffing occasionally. I opened the door slowly, knowing everyone was probably asleep. When I walked in, I saw the light on in the kitchen.

At the sound of the door, Garrett walked out of the kitchen and saw me. “Leah,” he said, and I closed the door.

“Hey,” I said weakly, and turned, starting to walk towards the hallway. But Garrett walked over to me, stopping me.

“Have you been crying?” he said.

I could feel the tears starting to bubble up again, and I bit my lip, holding my face down. My hair spilled over my face, covering it.

With one soft hand, Garrett pushed my hair away. “You’ve been crying,” he said gently.

Then he grabbed my shoulders. “It was Josh, wasn’t it?” he said, his tone different. I shook my head, and said “No,” but my voice broke, and I could feel tears falling down my cheeks again.

“What did he do to you, Leah?” he said, staring hard at me. “Tell me, I swear to God I’ll-“

But I looked up, cutting him off, saying, “Garrett, it wasn’t Josh. Josh is gay. I’m not seeing Josh.”

Garrett’s mouth opened a tiny bit, reflecting his confusion. His brows furrowed. “Oh..” he said, and looked down. Then, as if he suddenly remembered that I was ever upset, he put his hands back on my shoulders, saying sharply, “Then who was it?”

I swallowed hard, and looked at him. His face showed a feeling of urgency, of concern. Somewhere deep down, I was glad he still cared. And I knew that if something terrible with any boy ever did happen, he would jump at the chance to protect me.

“Janice,” I whispered, and his hands dropped from my shoulders.

“Janice?” he repeated, confused.

“She called me a skank.” I said. “She said that I wasn’t good enough for you. That I didn’t deserve you, Garrett she-” but he cut me off.

“Wow,” he said, and for a second I was worried he didn’t believe me.

“What a bitch,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said, and I chuckled nervously. “She’s a bitch.”

Garrett turned back to me, and placed one hand on my hip. “I’m sorry, Leah. I didn’t think she would do something like that.” he said.

“Yeah she said that you told her all about me,” I said, and I could feel the tears begin to swell up once again. “That I didn’t deserve you,” I said, almost a whisper.

Garrett brought his arms around me, pulling me close. I hugged him back. He whispered in my ear, “That’s not true, Leah. If anything, I’m not good enough for you,” he said, and I laughed.

“That’s a lie,” I said, very quietly.

Garrett pulled away, but his hands were still at my hips. “No,” he said, whispering. He was looking into my eyes with a feeling I couldn’t quite label.

“I’m not,” he whispered again, even softer than before. His hands fell from my waist, and he looked down at the ground.

I felt myself tearing up again, but this time it wasn’t because of Janice. I stepped forward, closing the gap between us. I kissed him lightly on the cheek.

He looked up, clearly surprised. I didn’t say anything, I just returned his stare. Then I felt something change, be it the air or whatever, and he leaned forward, placing his lips on mine.

He kissed me like that, in front of the door, for God knows how long. His kisses were soft and familiar, something I would always find intoxicating. His hands traveled up and down my back, and after a while he pulled away.

Our foreheads were leaning against each other’s, and he whispered, looking down at the ground, “Sleep in my room tonight.”

I licked my lips nervously. I didn’t know where “we” stood. I didn’t know what this meant. I didn’t know if he’d stop any second and tell me that we were just “friends.”

But I knew one thing, I would never be able to resist him. Even when I had every reason to hate him, he could just flash that million dollar smile of his and my heart would melt. I smiled back at him, whispering, “Okay,”

He took my hand, and led me to his bedroom.

I hoped things would change after tonight. I know that his concern proved one thing, he still cared. If I didn’t believe it before, I believed it now. And maybe, if things went perfectly, things could be like before.