‹ Prequel: A New Beginning
Hearts So Pure
Whoever She Is
I looked back at Nicole. “Nicole,” I said, and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. “I don’t know if I should…” and I trailed off. But I don’t think she heard me, because she had her drink to her mouth and was downing the rest of it. With a sigh, and turned on her heel and walked to the door. I stood there and watched her greet the boys outside, hugging each one. I turned back around and looked at my own drink, half full. Fuck it, I thought, and I chugged the rest of it. This ignited some cheers from the other end of the bar, and I followed Nicole’s footsteps and walked to the door. As I swung it open, I immediately felt the warm May air. Maybe it was that, or the realization that he was finally here, in front of me. Unable to even think about facing him, I faced Pat, and said, “Hey! Pat!” He smiled at me and replied “Leah! How’ve you been?” before giving me a hug. We went on like this for a couple of minutes before I stroke up a conversation with Jared and Kenny. John, who was with Nicole, was sitting on a bench 20 feet away. Finally I turned to Garrett. “Hey,” I breathed. He gave me his signature half smile and nodded. I felt my stomach turn, and I turned back to Pat, grabbing his hand and a pen from my pocket. “Here,” I said as I wrote my number on his hand. “This is my number. Call me or something so we can all hang out?” Pat nodded, “Yeah, sure!” and I turned around, walking towards Nicole and John. I said to John, “Hey! Long time no see!” And he smiled at me. “Leaaaaah,” he said. He was already drunk, and I smiled. I turned back around to the boys under the street light. Garrett hadn’t moved, his back was turned toward me and he was looking down at his phone. Jared was taking a sip of his beer and Pat was laughing. My eyes traveled to Kennedy, and he was staring right at me. Embarrassed, I turned back to Nicole. “It’s getting late,” I said, and a few minutes later we were walking back to our room.
When we got back to our motel, Nicole and I didn’t say much about what happened tonight. I know she didn’t want to upset me, she thought it would be nice for me to see Garrett again. And I knew how much she missed John. I changed into some shorts and an oversized t shirt and plopped down on the bed. Nicole said she’d stay up for a while and I heard the TV click on. I tried to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I kept thinking about Garrett and his stupid half-assed smile. After all this time, that’s all he could give me? I must have gotten lost in thought, because I heard Nicole sneak out the front door. When it closed, I looked at my phone. It was 2 AM. We had gotten back at midnight. I looked out the window, and saw two silhouettes. One was Nicole, and the other was a tall, skinny boy. I knew who it was instantly, and I watched John bend down and kiss her on the forehead before they walked off. I sighed, and sat up. I began flipping through the channels, eager for any distraction from thoughts of Garrett. I must have fallen asleep eventually, though, because I woke up the next morning to my vibrating phone. I rolled over, and Nicole was there in her bed, pulling the covers over her head. I wonder what time she got back? I grabbed my phone, and saw a message from an unknown number. “Leah,” it read, “its pat. we’re going out for breakfast this morning. do you and nicole wanna come?”
An hour later, me and Nicole were walking to some restaurant Pat had texted me the address to. The streets of New York were busier than last night, and I almost had to cling to her arm to avoid getting separated. “So,” I said, when the crowd seemed to thin after we turned a corner. “How did it go with John?” Nicole smiled, and I saw her cheeks begin to flush. “Oh you know,” she said. “We just talked.” I smiled, remembering watching his shadow reach down and kiss hers. “Right.” I said. A couple minutes later we walked into a small restaurant that smelled like coffee and cake. I heard someone yell, “Over here!” and turned to see Pat waving us down from a table in the back of the restaurant. They were in a circular booth, and everyone made room for me and Nicole. She sat next to John, and I got the seat on the edge. Lucky me.
After catching up with everyone, and John telling us about how they’d started booking shows here and there, I realized how much I’d missed this. We laughed like old times, and for a while I even forgot it had been more than a year since we’d all been together like this. Jared told some funny stories, Pat creeped the waitress out, and John promised to teach Nicole some songs on the guitar one of these days. We got up to leave, and we all stood outside the restaurant. “You know,” Pat said. “I don’t know what you guys are doing today but I heard there’s a carnival in town. I thought it would be cool if we all went?” I looked at Nicole. We didn’t have any plans tonight, or any other night for the rest of the summer. “Yeah,” she said. “That sounds great.”
We caught the city bus and soon we were paying for tickets. Everyone wanted to go on a different ride, Nicole and John insisting they take the ferris wheel. Jared and Garrett wanted to play bumper cars, and Pat sort of walked off, exploring as he went. It was just me and Kennedy, standing there alone. “I don’t know what that things called,” he started. “But it takes you around the whole park? You’re sitting up on this bench thing in the sky..” I laughed. Bench thing in the sky, yeah. I knew what he was talking about anyway, and soon we were off.
Sitting on the bench thing in the sky, Kennedy shifted in his seat. “I’m glad you’re here, Leah,” he said. I nodded, “yeah,” I said. “me too.” Kennedy licked his lips. “I missed you a lot. We all did.” I gripped the safety bar in front of me. “Yeah,” I said. “I really missed you guys too.” Kennedy smiled, and I felt him relax. We spent the rest of the ride in silence, and I was painfully aware of the tight space, forcing our thighs to touch constantly.
We got off, and with no one we knew in sight, decided to get some cotton candy. Kennedy insisted on paying, which was good, because my wallet was starting to run dry. We got our cotton candy, and as I was turning around from the booth, I bumped my hip on the counter. My cotton candy flew forward, and I felt some of it stick to my cheek. Kennedy laughed. “You have a little…” and I laughed too. “I know,” I said, embarrassed. “Here,” Kennedy said, walking closer and closing the gap between us. “Let me..” and I felt his warm hand on my cheek. His palm cupped my face while his thumb rubbed off the cotton candy. “There,” he said, but his hand lingered on my face. His eyes traveled down to my lips, and I already knew what was coming. I moved my face, and his hand fell away. “Bumper cars,” I said. “I bet everyone is there.” Kenny nodded. “Y-yeah.”
But everyone wasn’t there. Nicole and John were M.I.A. Pat was busy chatting up the attendant, and Garrett and Jared were full on yelling and screaming “Kiss my ass!” as they violently bumped into each other. Kennedy stepped from behind me and pointed at the row of empty bumper cars. “Wanna play?” And I nodded. Soon all four of us were yelling and screaming, ramming our bumper cars into both each other and the walls.
A couple hours later, the park was closing. Nicole and John had made their way back to the group, and we were all walking together towards the entrance. Pat spoke up. “Where are you guys staying?” I honestly had no idea, I wasn’t good with streets. Nicole said something to Pat, but I didn’t catch it, I just heard the end of her sentence. “Do you guys know where that is?” We all laughed. No, not really. John spoke up then. “Well you guys can stay with us tonight, we’re staying in this house we rented for the summer. It’s not that far from here. I knew this sounded great to Nicole, so I agreed.
We walked up to the house they were staying in. It was small and inside was cluttered with beer bottles and empty pizza boxes. But it all reminded me of John’s house after a night of drinking, and it was more familiar than uncomfortable. Everyone was tired, and I asked John if I could take a shower. “Yeah,” he said. “The towels are in the closet. Oh and you can probably ask Garrett for a shirt or something, to sleep in.” I nodded, and walked over to the hallway. I found the towels, and saw a half open doorway. Garrett was sitting on a chair, leaning towards something. He was alone. I swallowed and tried to sum up some courage, and I swung the door open. “Do you think you could let me-” and he turned around. I could see what he had been doing. His laptop was open, and his webcam was propped on top of it. On the screen was a girl, whoever he had been talking to I guess. I was silent, so was Garrett. We just stared at each other. Then the girl on the screen spoke up. “Garrett? Who’s there?” But Garrett didn’t turn around, his eyes were locked with mine. Then I looked over to the screen, and I remembered who it was. It was that girl who went to his house that one time, the one he talked to on the porch. The one he wrote all those letters to. Was she his girlfriend now? “Um..” I stammered, and then I turned on my heel and walked out of there as fast as I could. I walked to the bathroom and before I closed the door I heard Garrett say, “Oh that was no one.”
When we got back to our motel, Nicole and I didn’t say much about what happened tonight. I know she didn’t want to upset me, she thought it would be nice for me to see Garrett again. And I knew how much she missed John. I changed into some shorts and an oversized t shirt and plopped down on the bed. Nicole said she’d stay up for a while and I heard the TV click on. I tried to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I kept thinking about Garrett and his stupid half-assed smile. After all this time, that’s all he could give me? I must have gotten lost in thought, because I heard Nicole sneak out the front door. When it closed, I looked at my phone. It was 2 AM. We had gotten back at midnight. I looked out the window, and saw two silhouettes. One was Nicole, and the other was a tall, skinny boy. I knew who it was instantly, and I watched John bend down and kiss her on the forehead before they walked off. I sighed, and sat up. I began flipping through the channels, eager for any distraction from thoughts of Garrett. I must have fallen asleep eventually, though, because I woke up the next morning to my vibrating phone. I rolled over, and Nicole was there in her bed, pulling the covers over her head. I wonder what time she got back? I grabbed my phone, and saw a message from an unknown number. “Leah,” it read, “its pat. we’re going out for breakfast this morning. do you and nicole wanna come?”
An hour later, me and Nicole were walking to some restaurant Pat had texted me the address to. The streets of New York were busier than last night, and I almost had to cling to her arm to avoid getting separated. “So,” I said, when the crowd seemed to thin after we turned a corner. “How did it go with John?” Nicole smiled, and I saw her cheeks begin to flush. “Oh you know,” she said. “We just talked.” I smiled, remembering watching his shadow reach down and kiss hers. “Right.” I said. A couple minutes later we walked into a small restaurant that smelled like coffee and cake. I heard someone yell, “Over here!” and turned to see Pat waving us down from a table in the back of the restaurant. They were in a circular booth, and everyone made room for me and Nicole. She sat next to John, and I got the seat on the edge. Lucky me.
After catching up with everyone, and John telling us about how they’d started booking shows here and there, I realized how much I’d missed this. We laughed like old times, and for a while I even forgot it had been more than a year since we’d all been together like this. Jared told some funny stories, Pat creeped the waitress out, and John promised to teach Nicole some songs on the guitar one of these days. We got up to leave, and we all stood outside the restaurant. “You know,” Pat said. “I don’t know what you guys are doing today but I heard there’s a carnival in town. I thought it would be cool if we all went?” I looked at Nicole. We didn’t have any plans tonight, or any other night for the rest of the summer. “Yeah,” she said. “That sounds great.”
We caught the city bus and soon we were paying for tickets. Everyone wanted to go on a different ride, Nicole and John insisting they take the ferris wheel. Jared and Garrett wanted to play bumper cars, and Pat sort of walked off, exploring as he went. It was just me and Kennedy, standing there alone. “I don’t know what that things called,” he started. “But it takes you around the whole park? You’re sitting up on this bench thing in the sky..” I laughed. Bench thing in the sky, yeah. I knew what he was talking about anyway, and soon we were off.
Sitting on the bench thing in the sky, Kennedy shifted in his seat. “I’m glad you’re here, Leah,” he said. I nodded, “yeah,” I said. “me too.” Kennedy licked his lips. “I missed you a lot. We all did.” I gripped the safety bar in front of me. “Yeah,” I said. “I really missed you guys too.” Kennedy smiled, and I felt him relax. We spent the rest of the ride in silence, and I was painfully aware of the tight space, forcing our thighs to touch constantly.
We got off, and with no one we knew in sight, decided to get some cotton candy. Kennedy insisted on paying, which was good, because my wallet was starting to run dry. We got our cotton candy, and as I was turning around from the booth, I bumped my hip on the counter. My cotton candy flew forward, and I felt some of it stick to my cheek. Kennedy laughed. “You have a little…” and I laughed too. “I know,” I said, embarrassed. “Here,” Kennedy said, walking closer and closing the gap between us. “Let me..” and I felt his warm hand on my cheek. His palm cupped my face while his thumb rubbed off the cotton candy. “There,” he said, but his hand lingered on my face. His eyes traveled down to my lips, and I already knew what was coming. I moved my face, and his hand fell away. “Bumper cars,” I said. “I bet everyone is there.” Kenny nodded. “Y-yeah.”
But everyone wasn’t there. Nicole and John were M.I.A. Pat was busy chatting up the attendant, and Garrett and Jared were full on yelling and screaming “Kiss my ass!” as they violently bumped into each other. Kennedy stepped from behind me and pointed at the row of empty bumper cars. “Wanna play?” And I nodded. Soon all four of us were yelling and screaming, ramming our bumper cars into both each other and the walls.
A couple hours later, the park was closing. Nicole and John had made their way back to the group, and we were all walking together towards the entrance. Pat spoke up. “Where are you guys staying?” I honestly had no idea, I wasn’t good with streets. Nicole said something to Pat, but I didn’t catch it, I just heard the end of her sentence. “Do you guys know where that is?” We all laughed. No, not really. John spoke up then. “Well you guys can stay with us tonight, we’re staying in this house we rented for the summer. It’s not that far from here. I knew this sounded great to Nicole, so I agreed.
We walked up to the house they were staying in. It was small and inside was cluttered with beer bottles and empty pizza boxes. But it all reminded me of John’s house after a night of drinking, and it was more familiar than uncomfortable. Everyone was tired, and I asked John if I could take a shower. “Yeah,” he said. “The towels are in the closet. Oh and you can probably ask Garrett for a shirt or something, to sleep in.” I nodded, and walked over to the hallway. I found the towels, and saw a half open doorway. Garrett was sitting on a chair, leaning towards something. He was alone. I swallowed and tried to sum up some courage, and I swung the door open. “Do you think you could let me-” and he turned around. I could see what he had been doing. His laptop was open, and his webcam was propped on top of it. On the screen was a girl, whoever he had been talking to I guess. I was silent, so was Garrett. We just stared at each other. Then the girl on the screen spoke up. “Garrett? Who’s there?” But Garrett didn’t turn around, his eyes were locked with mine. Then I looked over to the screen, and I remembered who it was. It was that girl who went to his house that one time, the one he talked to on the porch. The one he wrote all those letters to. Was she his girlfriend now? “Um..” I stammered, and then I turned on my heel and walked out of there as fast as I could. I walked to the bathroom and before I closed the door I heard Garrett say, “Oh that was no one.”