Hearts So Pure

With my finger, I made a circle around the rim of my coffee. Josh smiled, “Come on! You gotta be kidding me! How can you not like Fight Club?” I giggled. “Seen it too many times, I guess.” I said. Josh gave me a fake sigh. “You can never see that movie too many times.” We both laughed. Josh and I had been talking in the coffee place for a while. He told me he was on break, and I don’t know… he was really funny. We talked about New York and music and movies. He was really cool, and I was glad to be out of the house. “So,” he said, trailing off. “What are you doing tonight?” I bit my lip. “I don’t know..” I said. “The boys don’t have a show, so I’ll probably just stay in.” “On a Friday!” He said. “Noo that’s not acceptable. Listen there’s this band playing at some venue tonight a couple blocks from here. I heard they’re good. You should come with me.” And she smiled. I smiled back, unsure of his intentions. “Sure..” I said, still uncertain. “Great,” he said, smiling wide. “You stay with Kenny and them, right? I’ll pick you up around 8.” I nodded, and he stood up, straightening his name tag. “I gotta get back to work,” he said. “I’ll see you later.” “Yeah,” I said, and I watched him walk behind the counter, putting an apron on and looking under the counter for something. I looked at my phone. It was 1 PM. I walked out and back to the house.

When I got back, Janice was gone, and so were Nicole and John. Pat was sitting on the couch, a laptop in his lap. “Hey..” he said, not looking up from his computer. “Hey,” I called back. “What’s up?” And I sat next to him, looking down the hallway. Garrett’s door was closed, but I could hear the TV droning on from behind it. “I don’t know…” Pat said, and I saw him scroll through videos on YouTube. I sighed, and looked around. Jared was in the kitchen reading a frozen pizza box for instructions, and Kennedy was reading another one. Bored, I flicked the TV on and waited till seven.

At six, I started getting ready. My hair had been in a messy bun all day, so I took it down and straightened it. I picked out some black jeans from my suitcase, and I had a white blazer over a pink shirt. I applied my makeup carefully, making sure it was perfect. When I was done, I walked out of the bathroom. Garrett had been walking through the hall, towards his room. He stopped when he saw me. He looked at me up and down, and for a second I thought there must be something on my face. “Y-You…” and he cleared his throat. Ahem. “You look nice, Leah,” he said. I pursed my lips, and looked at the ground nervously. “You going out?” he said, and he sounded just as uncomfortable as I felt. “Mhmm,” I nodded. “Cool,” he said, still looking at me wide-eyed. Then he walked to his room, shutting the door slowly. I heard the doorbell ring, and Kennedy answered it. “Josh!” I heard him say. “What’s up, man!” I walked into the living room, and I saw Josh at the front door. “Hey, Kenny,” he said. He moved his head to the side and saw me behind Kennedy. “Leah!” he said, smiling. “You ready?” I nodded, walking past Kenny. Pat called from the couch, still in the same spot as he was in hours ago, “You leaving?” I nodded back to him. “Yeah, I’ll be back later.” Pat nodded, and soon he was engrossed in his computer screen again. I closed the door behind me and followed Josh down the steps. He opened the back door to his car, letting me in. I got in and noticed someone in the passengers seat. The boy turned around, offering me his hand, “I’m Eric,” he said, smiling. He had short brown hair, and was wearing a blue cardigan. When he smiled I saw his teeth, perfect and white. “I’m Leah,” I said, shaking his hand. Josh opened the door and got in the front seat. He turned around, saying “Leah, this is my boyfriend, Eric.” A little shocked, I swallowed hard. I nodded at Eric, still smiling. We drove to the venue in silence, and when we got there things loosened up a little. I was glad he was gay, it took a lot of pressure off me. We bought our tickets and walked inside. Eric bought us all drinks, and began telling me about the band that was playing. “They’re really good,” I heard him say in his deep voice. He honestly was gorgeous, and if he wasn’t gay I’m sure girls would be all over him. Hell, I could see some girls behind us staring at him wildly already. He didn’t seem to notice, though, as he took a gulp of his beer and licked his lips. “They’re up,” he said, nodding to the stage. Josh and I followed him into the crowd, and soon the band began playing. They were alright… nothing like the boys. But the crowd was into them, and I had fun.

After the show, Josh drove me home. We stopped in front of the house and he said from the driver’s seat, “I’ll walk you in,” and I smiled. We got out of the car and he followed me up the steps. When we were right at the door, he kissed me on the cheek. “I had a nice time with you, Leah,” he said, smiling at me. “Me too,” I said. “We should all hang out again sometime,” he said, looking at the car. “Eric would love that.” I nodded, “That sounds cool.” “Great,” he said. “Well, I’ll see you, Leah,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. Then he walked down the steps and I watched him go, back into the car and he took a seat right next to Eric. I walked inside and closed the door quietly. I was midnight. I could hear laughter coming from the back, everyone was probably hanging out outside. I walked over to the back door, and slowly opened it. I saw everyone seated around a bonfire someone had made, beers in hand. Nicole was sitting in John’s lap, and Pat was sitting on the floor, closer to the fire. Kennedy and Jared were in mid laughter, and I looked at Garrett. He was leaning back in his chair, looking at me. Jared turned around. “Leah!” he said. “Grab a beer, sit down.” I smiled, and walked over to them, taking an empty seat next to Kennedy. “How was it?” Kenny said to me, speaking about the concert. I looked over at Garrett, he was still looking at me. “It was good,” I said. “Yeah,” Kennedy nodded, taking a sip from his beer. “Josh is a good guy.” Garrett shot up, “You went out with Josh tonight?” He said. “The one who works at that coffee place?” I nodded, and tried to act normal, but I could feel my stomach starting to turn. Garrett sat back, trying to seem uninterested. “Cool..” he said, and soon everyone was talking about something else, how Kennedy almost burned the house down today with his frozen pizza.

When it got really late, we all started heading off to bed. John and Nicole said they’d stay outside, they weren’t tired yet. Pat walked off to the recliner in the living room, falling asleep instantly. Jared found a spot on the couch, and Garrett walked over to his room. Kennedy turned to me. “You can sleep in my room if you want..” he said. I bit my lip, this was uncomfortable for both of us. “Are you sure?” I said to him. “I don’t wanna-” but he cut me off. “It’s cool Leah.” he said. “But Pat kinda left his drum set in my room. My bed isn’t small, but if you slept in there we’d have to sleep together. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything..” I nodded, “Oh no that’s fine.” Kennedy sighed, relieved. “Cool,” he said. And we walked off to his room. I grabbed some basketball shorts and a tank top from my suitcase and changed in the bathroom, and when I got back, Kennedy was already in bed, his back to me, facing the wall. I laid down next to him, and I could feel his body heat. “Listen..” I said in the dark. “I’m really sorry, Kenny.” Kennedy whispered back, “It’s okay, Leah, really…” and his voice trailed off. He was falling asleep. He was still facing the wall, his back still to me. “No it’s not,” I said, “I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything.. You know it was just hard after all this time and.. I don’t know. you’re a good person, Kennedy. You really are. And one day you’ll find someone who deserves you, I promise.” It was quiet, and I waited for his response. Then I heard him snore. Wow, I thought. Typical. A smirk formed on my face as I turned on my side, falling asleep.

The next morning I was the first one up. I walked to the kitchen and started some coffee. Then I grabbed yesterday’s paper from the counter and sat down at the table, looking for the comics. Soon, Garrett strolled in, still in his pajamas. His hair was messier than I’d ever seen it, and his shirt was wrinkled. He walked over to the coffee pot, checking if it was done. When he saw that it wasn’t, he came and sat across from me. I didn’t look up from the paper. “So you and Josh..” he said. Still not looking up, I said. “Stop.” Garrett chuckled. “I’m not jealous,” he said. “That’s a lie,” I said flatly. Garrett leaned back in his chair. “Maybe a little..” he said, and I looked up at him. He had that stupid half smile on his face. “I knew it,” I said. And Kennedy and John walked in, making noise and rattling dishes. Garrett never took his eyes off me, even as Kennedy and John sat down, pouring themselves some cereal. I looked back at him, that stupid smirk never left his face.