He'll Never Know

Having to see James everyday at school was a little awkward, but he didn't bring it up, so it calmed be down a bit.

Fifteen days came to pass and it was now time for third period; music theory.

It wasn't an actual class for me, Gary, and Aaron, because we already knew all this stuff from being band members, so we used it as a practice time.

I followed my daily routine; walked into the locker room, got my euphonium and music, and went back into the bandroom to take a seat. But instead of taking a seat, I saw Aaron and Gary near the piano, so I decided to join in on their conversation.

We talked about the usual, until James came into the conversation.

"You should ask him out," Aaron said while nodding his head and giving me a somewhat weird grin.

"We've been over this," I said, "it's never going to happen."

"You don't know that," Aaron said.

"But he's so little, and I'm too big for him," I said in a cute voice.

Gary then backed away from the piano. "Hannah, you're the same size."

"Thank you," I said, flattered, "but he's too good for me."

Gary and Aaron both surround me.

"Look, just ask him to the movies." Gary looked me in the eyes.

I stood there frozen for a moment. Why are they thinking that I could be good enough for someone like James? How is that even possible? My heart was beginning to race and my stomach was full of butterflies.

"You do it or I will," Aaron said, smiling.

"NO, please-" The next thing I knew, tears were flowing from my eyes. "don't," I said, barely whispering. I was smiling, but my emotions were so built up at that point that I didn't even notice I was really crying.

Aaron's eyes got wide at the sight of my tears. "I'm sorry Hannah, I really won't."

"Good," I whispered, shaking, whiping the tears from my eyes. Aaron Gary are both looking at me.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," I said smiling, shaking my head, tears still coming.

Gary just stared at me with sad eyes saying, "don't cry."

I walked to the locker room in the pitch dark and began to try to stop my tears.

After I felt like I was calmed down, I went back into the bandroom over to where my euphonium was laying, and I picked it up & began to set my music upon the stand.

Aaron takes a seat beside of me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's okay," I said smiling, my eyes still red.

I began to look over some music, so Aaron went into the back room.

Gary slowly came over to me, resting his elbows on the music stand. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I said.

He slowly began to walk into the back room too, but before he turned the corner, he stopped & looked at me.

"Why?" He asked. "Why won't you just ask him?"

"I'm scared," I said carefully, trying not to cry again.

"But if you want him to be yours, you have to try," Gary said, moving a little closer.

"I don't have a chance, he's too good for me," I said, swallowing deeply.

"Let me ask you this," he stepped a little closer, "what if you let him slip away? What if he could be yours right now, but you won't take the chance?"

I paused, staring at him, my eyes getting watery again. He never took his eyes off of me. He slowly dropped his head and said with a sad tone, "okay." He slowly turned the corner to the back room.

I then sat my euphonium on my lap & stared at the wall. "I have to try, I have to. I'm going to."

For the first time ever, I could see it. Maybe it WAS possible. Maybe this perfect human being could somehow want to be with me. That moment goes down as the first time in history that I've ever had confidence in anything to do with myself. Maybe Gary and Aaron were right. Maybe I should give it a shot before I let him slip away.

I had made up my mind. I was going to try everything in my power to make him mine. I smiled as I whiped the last tear from my cheek & began to pray.