Thinking Of You

The next day, John was walking down the road with me, our fingers linked together. We stopped at an empty park, and he turned and kissed me. I smiled through the kiss, breaking it up, then turned and ran to the slide. I climbed up the steps, then laid down in it. I slid down, head first, and John grabbed my hands and pulled me out onto the mulch. I giggled, looking up at him, then stood and ran over to the swings. He sat next to me, then pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in between his lips before lighting it and taking a puff. I stared at him for a second before sighing and looking down.

"Krysten...?" I heard someone say, and John and I looked up to see Pat and Garrett staring at us, their skateboards in their hands. My mouth dropped, and I glanced over at John before standing up.

"What are you doing here with him?" Pat asked in a whisper once I was standing in front of them.
"Um... I..." I stuttered, then John walked up and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck a couple times. He glared up at Garrett, keeping his lips pressed on my collar bone. I jabbed my elbow in his chest, making him get off me, then looked into Garrett's eyes.
"I thought..." he said quietly. I could see the pain in his eyes. It killed me inside.
"I, um... John and I..."
"I get it... It's okay. Uh... See you at school." Garrett said, then threw his board down, and was gone.
"Pat..." I said, looking at him, and he shook his head.
"Whatever. Do what you want." he mumbled, then threw his board down as well, following Garrett.

I turned to John, balled up my fist and hit in in the chest.
"Why did you do that?! They're never gonna talk to me again!"
"I don't see the big deal..."
"They're in all my classes! Who am I gonna talk to?!"
"You're a sophomore?"
"Yes!"
"Oh... I'm a junior... So... Good luck with that."
"John, that wasn't fucking funny, you dick!" I yelled, pushing him.
"Krys, calm down."
"No. Did you see Garrett?!"
"Do you love him?!" he finally yelled back, searching my eyes.
"I don't know!"
"Do you love me?" he asked. I didn't answer. He sighed, then pulled my chin up and kissed me.
"I love you." he said, and I rolled my eyes.
"I can't believe you."

***

That night, I walked inside, and went upstairs to my room where Kennedy was waiting with a bat.
"What are you doing?" I asked, and his eyes narrowed.
"John O'Callaghan. Why him, Krysten? He's just gonna hurt you."
"I know, Kennedy, I don't need you telling me."
"Then why are you dating him?"
"I don't know..."
"What happened to that Garrett kid? He seemed like he liked you. And you can't tell me you don't like him."
"This isn't any of your business."
"I'm your big brother, it is my business if I'm gonna have to kick someone's ass!"
"He said he would change for me."
"And you believe him?"
"...Yes."
"Break up with him."
"No."
"Do it while you can. You're just gonna get hurt in the long run."
"I can't."
"Then I'm not gonna be there when you fall. You're on your own." Kennedy said, looking away from my eyes. He threw the bat down, then turned and walked out.

I laid down on my bed and stared up at my ceiling, before running my hands down my face.