Awake and Unafraid

SHIT. Holy motherfucking shit. I had kissed her! And gotten hard? Damn myself to hell, dearest God! My soul was alive. I've never felt this way before. Kaitlyn manipulatively shooed the others away, off to Starbucks. She embraced me, my body all too aware of her presence. All too aware. I was in love with her! She's only Sixteen!

Alas, although unmentioned, her mom was twelve years younger than her dad. NO! I must push this out of my head! I'm twenty-fucking-seven!! Oh, but I needed her so badly. I now desired her. Wanted her. She kissed my neck, and I shivered. Oh how I needed to kiss her, my lips were fucking on fire!

"Gerarddd." She moaned, the pleasure it gave me was unholy. Why couldn't two people who liked each other, not be together? Age duh. I was eleven years older than her, despite her parents' fate. Oh but I loved her. How fragile she was, how loving, innocent and sweet. Innocent. The word pained me. For I was so guilty.

"Gee, I have a confession to make. I mean a real confession, something you must know, something I haven't even told Taylor." Damn, It must be real, if she didn't tell Taylor, sometimes I think those two share the same birthmother.
"I'm not really Sixteen." Not what I wanted to hear. Was she fourteen? No. Fifteen? Perhaps.
"How old are you then?" I asked, biting my lip. Her hands found the sweet spot on my back.
"Seventeen and a half." Kaitlyn smirked! Oh what excellent news!!

I replied to this news by kissing her passionately, the urge I had fulfilled. I laughed in pleasure, moaned in esctacy, and placed her skillfully in my arms, as not to break her. We were laughing so hard, it wasn't even about anything funny. I bit her, the gentle noise she made, sent me laughing like I was on drugs.

"Gerard Way." Kaitlyn said, in her most mothering voice. "You haven't been doing drugs, have you?"
"No, but I did have a FEW of Frankie's Skittles."
"Naughty, Naughty, we shant be having any more of those, young man."
"Yes mother." I joked, she patted me on the head like a dog.
"Good boy." I siezed her hand and kissed it. She skillfully twisted in my lap, so that she was now out of my grasp. Her mask of pleasure was thinly laced with apprehension. What she said now utterly confused me.

"Kiss me in your Black Parade uniform."
"Why?" I asked, befuddled.
"I want to see if it's any different."
"As you wish."

I walked over to my suitcase, and pulled out the jacket, as I already had black jeans and a tee on. She surprised me by grabbing me rather animalistically, and gazed at me wildly. She was stronger than I thought. The look of pure love was imminent. I dove in and kissed her hungrily, like she was food, and I haven't eaten in days. She moaned, tipping her head back. I found her ticklish spot on the small of her back and she shivered.

"Shant this be incest?" She said in the same mothering tone.
"It's too damn good for incest." I moaned, breathing heavily. She pressed harder on my lips, and I wanted every bit of her. I ran my fingers through her hair.
"So. Is it any different with the jacket on?" I asked her. Kate tossled my hair, her freedom in her eyes.
"I don't know, I haven't had enough time to tell." She replied, mischeviously. I continued that lingering kiss, ever so deeply. She hit my sweet spot on my back, and I got hard again. I fought it, ever so much. She could tell I was uncomfortable. Kate pulled away.

"It isn't different. Clothes don't make the man, if you care for him so deeply."
"True." I was fighting my instinct and she sensed it, by the twinge in my mouth, as it looked like I tasted something sour. Luckily, my body calmed down. But I wasn't going to risk my hurting her. I know she felt my growing. She smiled.

"Let's watch TV." She suggested. I didn't care, and as long as my time was spent with her. I turned the channel to FX, and The Excorcist was on. I had seen the movie so many times, I had lost interest within the first few minutes. I spent my time, looking into her steely blue eyes with a look of love. Within seconds, she caught my loving gaze, and returned it, my hazel eyes, the picture of affection, and ever-growing love.

"Gerard."
I noticed she was crying. Why was she crying? Had I hurt her? At the sight of her tears, my eyes glowed with concern. She looked so happy, and so loving, yet there was true nervousness in her gaze.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes springing tears as well, thinking that I had hurt her in any way. I loved her too much for that.
"Nothing." Kaitlyn smiled, contrasting her tears. I gently brushed the tears away. I gave her a look that said: I will always care for you, please tell me what's wrong.
I put my palm to her soft cheek. She stroked it gently. We went back to watching the love in each other's eyes. She intoxicated me, with an air so vibrant, I didn't know what it was.
She whispered something, and I respectively lowered the volume down to listen to her sweet voice.

"I love you." She said. My heart swelled with a feeling so foreign to me, I didn't know what it was. I had an amazing epiphany, and realized it was TRUE love. Love untouchable by the hands of conflict. Everlasting affection.

"I love you too." I replied. She placed her head on my chest. She was so gentle, and caring. So pure. So innocent, yet so intimate. I settled in for the greatest most soft kiss of my life. She gently leaned into my lips, her hands on my lower back, mine on her neck. I parted my lips, letting her tongue enter and caress mine in a slow, erotic dance. The purity, yet esctacy, in her touch, set my skin on fire.

"I'm tired. I'm going to doze off for a bit." Her words surprised me.
"On one condition: I want to be a pillow."
She slapped me playfully, then yawned. I captured her exhaling with my mouth. I lied down, my arms around her waist, her head on my chest. Before she fell asleep in my arms for a second time, she asked me.

"Are we Demolition Lovers now?"
"Of course!" I held her hand. "Your hand's in mine, I'm staring into your icy blues, and since you are graduating this year, early, We could definately take to the highway!"
She smiled, looking lovingly into my eyes. I returned her gaze.

"I love you, Kate." I said to her.
"I love you Gee."

Snore. I was asleep. And I had no dreams, they were in my arms. That's where I always want them to be.

****************************************************************************************************

When I woke up, I called the guys and Brian if we could take a six month reprieve from touring, for summer vacation. It was the last day at Kate's school, so I thought of it. The boys, tired of touring, all agreed. I asked Kate's mom if we could take her to Jersey. She said yes, as long as she got to see her grandmother up there as well. I agreed. We were finally, taking to the highway.

I meant this. Forever.
{Excuse the Lyric puns! :)}