The Truth Is a Terrible Thing

The spot next to Amelia was empty when she awoke the next morning. She wasn't surprised that he had left, he most likely went back to his flat to make amends with Hanna. She put her hand on the messy spot, it had a hint of warmth, just a small reminder that he was there not to long before. She rolled onto her back with a sigh going over the events of last night. She didn't feel Josh needed to apologize, she understood that he was just in a bad mood. That's why she asked him to sleep on the couch, not because she was angry with him but for him to cool off. He needed to be alone, to think and that's what she thought she was helping him do.

She tossed herself off her bed and walked out to the bathroom to shower. She felt she needed to wash away everything from the night. As the hot water ran down her skin with it came off the guy from the bar, the pissed Max and Matt, and Josh. His words, his stares, his touch. She quickly finished up before getting ready to take on the day. She had no plans, nothing really worth doing, she figured she would see what Des was up to or Dan. She walked down the hall of her flat, leading into the living room. What she saw when she got there surprised her. Josh was sat on the sofa, drinking from a Styrofoam cup.

Amelia was completely surprised. She was positive that Josh had left to see Hanna, that he would be gone for a few days making everything okay with her. Josh was watching tv when Amelia had entered the small living area.

"Josh?" Amelia asked.

Josh turned his head to look at her before standing up. "Hey," he smiled softly. "I went to the bakery, got your favourite, I figured we could have that talk now."

Amelia couldn't help but smile at him, as he stood awkwardly in front of the sofa. She skipped over to him and sat in the empty spot on the sofa. Josh sat down next to her and handed her a Styrofoam cup that was sitting on the table. She thanked him as she took the warm cup and pulled her feet up on the sofa. "So what exactly is it that you want to talk about?" she asked.

He took a sip from his cup before answering. "I figure maybe I should give a genuine apology for last night-"

"Josh, you don't have to apologize," she cut in.

Josh shook his head, "No I do, I was angry and upset and I shouldn't have taken it out on you, you were only being a good friend and trying to help. Can you forgive me?"

Amelia smiled softly, placing a hand on his cheek. "Josh, I'll always forgive you," she said quietly.

Josh grabbed her hand in his and pulled it off his face, holding it in his lap. "Why are you always so great to me? No matter what I say or do you're always there for me."

"Everyone has to have someone to lean on. Someone to take away the extra baggage; that'll be there for you through any circumstance, through thick and thin," she shrugged. "I guess I'm just your someone."

Josh smiled brightly. "I love you, Amelia." Josh's smile grew as she giggled. His smile eventually faded after a few seconds as he pulled his hand away from hers. "Aren't you going to ask me about the fight with Hanna?" He asked.

Amelia shifted in her seat. "I thought about it and you know what? I don't want to force you into telling me anything, You'll tell me when you're ready and when you are I’ll be right here ready to listen," she stated, that was the truth. She had thought about it while she was in the shower. She didn't feel like she should force it out of him just because her curiosity got the best of her. If Josh really wanted to tell her about what happened then he would come to her and tell her when he felt like it. It could take days, months, years, but she could wait until then. She had to.

Josh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She laughed but hugged him back, putting her hands on his shoulder blades. "Thank you," he whispered into her ear.

"You're welcome," she said just as quietly.

Josh pulled away, locking eyes with Amelia. He always loved how bright her eyes always were; just the sight of them could make you feel happier. They were a bright emerald green, never dull, ever. "You don't have plans today do you?"

"No-?" she questioned, raising a thin eyebrow.

Josh stood up quickly, holding out a hand for Amelia to take. "Good, cause we're spending the day together. Get your shoes on and let’s go."

Amelia didn't question his sudden outburst; she just took his hand in hers and let him help her off the sofa. She walked quickly to the door where her shoes and hoodie were. Josh turned off the tv before joining her at the door.

They slipped through the doorway before Amelia stopped and turned back towards the door. "I should tell Gabby we're leaving," she says.

Josh laughed. "No need to, she left this morning for work."

That’s right, she works on Saturdays, Amelia thought to herself.

With a smile Josh gave Amelia his arm. She smiled back and wrapped a thin arm around his. "Shall we?" he asked her.

"We shall," Amelia said before walking beside Josh down the path and to the road. It was a little cold outside, the wind blowing slightly. She pushed herself into Josh, hoping maybe he would keep her warm. Josh smiled at her affectionate movement and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him.

"Cold?" Josh asked, raising an eyebrow.

Amelia nodded, wrapping her arms around Josh's waist underneath his oversized coat. "I should have worn a heavier jumper."

"Or not wear a vest," he smiles. "Come on, lets warm you up. How about I take you out to lunch, yeah?" Amelia nods.

The two of them walked down the street a little farther before finding a nice diner in the square. It was a cozy place, not loud like pubs or crowded like restaurants. It was a seat yourself sort of place, where the waitresses were mostly older ladies with maybe one or two younger ones. Josh led Amelia to the very back of the diner into a window seat. The back of the diner was vacant, everyone was occupying the front of the diner and by everyone the older couple near the door.

Amelia took a seat across from Josh. "Why did you have to sit so far away from everything?"

Josh slid off his coat, putting it on the back of the chair and shrugged nonchalantly. "I wanted us to be alone, so we could talk," he says taking a seat.

"Talk about what exactly?"

Josh shrugged again. "I don't know, about anything. How you're doing, how you're cooping with being so lonely all the time," he smiled.

"Bloody hell, I'm not lonely," she tells Josh. That was true too, she wasn't. She spent her days busying herself with Desiree and the lads and at night she got to fall asleep in Josh's arms. She'll admit it gets lonely when Josh was with Hanna. She knew that whilst she was lying in bed at night, cold and alone Josh was with Hanna, his arms wrapped around her like they had been on Amelia many times before. She always hoped that maybe he and Hanna didn't touch while they slept. Maybe he stayed on one side of the bed and she on the other. Who was she kidding though, they had bee dating for four years, and they were closer than he and Amelia were. "I'm content with being alone Josh. I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy. Now when I have you."

Josh smiled widely. "You're going to need to get out and date someone eventually," he choked out. Josh didn't want to see her with anybody. He couldn't imagine watching her kiss someone else, or sleep next to her nightly. He would miss spending time with her, sleeping over, watching arsenal games, and even just doing this. Sitting in an old diner, talking. Josh had this fear that Amelia would find love and forget all about him. That she would move away with her knight in shining armor and their only conversations would be a five-minute Skype session once a month. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that.

"Maybe I’ll find someone but for now I'm not that worried about a relationship," Amelia said. Josh shook his head at his friend just as the waitress came over and took their orders. After she left a comfortable silence fell between them.

"So you want to know what happened with Hanna?" Josh asked.

yes

"Depends," she says. "On if you want to tell me."

Josh shrugged. "I suppose I might as well, I mean nothing big happened. She yelled at me as soon as I walked in the door; asking me where I had been and who I was with-"

"And you told her?" she cut in.

Josh nods. "Yes, I did. I had to I mean what was I going to say? Anyways, I told her that after your party I took you home and we had sex."

Amelia's eyed widened, her mouth dropped to the floor. no she thought. no he did not"You didn't? Joshua, you prat! Did you seriously tell her we had sex?!"

He burst out into laughter at Amelia's expression. "I didn't tell her that, I just wanted to see the look on your face," he said. "I told her what happened; we went back to your flat, you opened your gift and then e went to bed. After that she said to leave and I did."

Amelia felt like Josh was holding something back, something important. There was no way she had kicked him out over something so small. Something happened that Josh wasn't telling. Something that led to something worse, otherwise Josh wouldn't have been so angry when he arrived at the pub. He wouldn't have snapped at Amelia the way he did either. "Why were you gone for so long then?"

Josh shrugged. "I went for a walk, thought I needed to calm down before I saw you."

"And look at how well that worked out," Amelia said rolling her green eyes.

Josh scoffed. "I apologized for that you know," he said. "Besides, I cooled off a lot by the time I got to you and the lads. It could have ended a lot worse."

"So clearly something else happened," she pushed. She wanted to know exactly what happened not these tidbits that he was giving. Josh had never held back a fight from her before. He would show up at her house at ungodly hours, angry and frustrated. Amelia would sit on the sofa and watch Josh pace back and forth in front of her, his hand flailing as he went off. He would tell Amelia every little detail about the fight, word for word. She would sit there and listen until he was done before she would stand up and pull him into a hug. It seemed to calm Josh instantly. He would hug her back and just stay there with her for minutes, embraced in each others arms until she pulled away. He never wanted her to pull away.

Josh's jaw tightened, he looked down at his hands thinking of something to say to her; something to change the subject so he wouldn't have to answer her question. "Oh look, lunch is coming," he quickly said as the waitress came back to the table. She handed them their plates of food before walking off. Josh began eating his food almost instantly, stuffing chips into his mouth one at a time. "So, what do you want to do after this?"

Amelia shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. "We can go shopping or see what the lads are doing."

"What are you saying? You want to go out?" he asked raising and eyebrow.

Amelia shook her head. "No. I would rather stay home and read my book than watch you get pissed. I thought maybe we could do something else. Something I'll actually enjoy. As much as I love you Josh, I don't know if I can go out anymore this week."

"You and your damn books. If you don't want to get proper fucked then what would you like to do Miss. Howell?" He asked leaning over the table.

"I could do you," she joked. Josh let out a loud laugh as he leaned back in his chair. "Invite them over and we can have a movie night or something. Ask them if their girlfriends mind, I don't want them mad at me."

"You know," Josh began, shoving a chip in his mouth. "A movie night sounds good, we haven't had one a while. Let's finish up here and then we'll call them. Then afterwords we'll talk about you wanting to do me, figure something out."

Could you be any more perfect?