Hate Amongst the Labels

Kev's POV

"My fucked up life?" I ask.

"That's true. I have never heard of the background of the infamous jock, Kev. How come?" Danielle gave me a patronizing smirk.

"Well, it's because I've never given it. No one really knows my history except me and the people who are a part of it." When I said that last part my eyes immediately slid to Tish. She, of course, knew she was a small part of my history and had her eyes glued to the floor. Even though that small part of history that includes her, has been kept closer than any of the other memories I hold.

"Well do ya' wanna share or what?" Taylor says plopping her bitch ass back down on the bed.

"What makes you think I wanna share my memories with a mega-bitch, a momma's boy, an emo-freak, and a pregnant slut?" I said without thinking, mentally shooting myself as I pointed to each of them as I said the words.

"It's good to know you'll always be a self-centered jerk Kev." Tish says as she continues to stare at the floor. Those words just sliced through me like a fucking knife. I feel like she just ripped my heart out with her teeth, ran it over with a truck, and stuck it in a blender on "obliterate". Then, it felt like she buried it 6 feet under this very stage we're sitting on as I had to watch her get up and walk away from me. All over again. I don't know why those little words have so much of an impact on me, but they do. No one meets eyes, no one says a word for about a whole 3 minutes before I get up to go follow her.

"Tish?" I call softly as I pull back a large, black stage curtain covered in dust.

"Go away." I hear her muffled voice say.

"Not until I can talk to you."

"I said go away! I don't want to talk to you anyways!!" She howls, but we're both far away enough that everyone else can't hear us but I don't care if they can anyways.

"Tish, I'm real sorry you know I didn't mean it."

There's a long pause before she says: "You wouldn't have said it, if you didn't mean it."

"Tish, please don't do this! let me explain." I begged. I was still looking around for her but I couldn't seem to find her back here. It was too dark. Why am I such an asshole?!

"Don't beg, Kev. You know I can't stand it when you do that." She says simply.

"Just, please I need to talk to you!" I finally find where her voice is coming from. The girl's bathrom.

"What buisness do you have with a pregnant slut?" She hisses from the other side of the door. I push the door open and peek in to see her sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall opposite the door.

"I don't have any buisness with a pregnant slut, but I do have unfinished buisness with someone else."

She looks up at me with sad eyes.

"I believe that buisness was finished." She mumbles. I walk over to her and slide down the wall next to her. My arm brushes hers, and she shifts away uncomfortably. I sigh. Why is it I feel so much for her, but she can't even stand to be in the same room with me?

"Tish, don't do that to me." I look her in the eyes and scoot closer. I can feel her body from her hip up to her shoulder. She doesn't move this time but I can tell she's tense.

"What do you want?" She asks, refusing to even give me eye contact.

"You know I didn't mean that Tish. I was just being stupid. I don't think before I say things; they just come out." I say as I mess with a loose string on my shirt.

She doesn't answer for several seconds, and I just can't stand it.

"Why do you hate me so much Tish?"

Her eyes immediately flash to my face, as if she's shocked I said that.

"I don't...hate you." She almost whispers.

"Then why did you leave me?" I say bluntly. I'm gunna have to say this is the closest I've ever come in my entire life to crying, and there have been many other opportunities.

"I told you this Kev, I found someone else. Someone better for me." I almost believed her...but when she looked away and tried to hide her face, I knew it was a lie.

"Don't hide from me Tish..." I said grabbing one of her wrists trying to pry her hand from her face, but stopped short noticing a single tear slide down her cheek. My eyes widened and I let my hand drop, as did she.

"What's wrong?" I asked warily. All men knew what tears meant: Not good.

"Nothing. I'm fine." She murmured.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her. I don't care if she's uncomfortable or not, she can deal with it. She sniffled and eventually relaxed against my embrace. She rested her head on my shoulder and I layed my cheek on her hair. Her hair smelled faintly of strawberries and vanilla.

After about 10 minutes of silence I dropped my arms and sighed. She and I locked eyes and softly smiled. Immediately my man-ness took over, and I began to lean into her. Our lips were mere inches apart when she muttered in a silky tone: "I'm sorry, Kevin. It's just not right. I can't do that to you."

Then she ripped her gaze from mine and leaned away. I was completely astonished. Do what?!

I'm sure my face was in a mask of confusion.

"It wouldn't be right between us again." She stated simply and began to stand up.

"Wait!" I tried to get her to sit back down, but she just walked to the door. She hesitated, and turned to me to say something else.

"Kev. I just want you to grasp this, so we can get over this. I'm not going to hold you back any longer, I want you to go out and live your life with someone that isn't going to be bringing you down all the time. I've moved on. I think it would be....I wanna say healthy? If you moved on too." I saw a trace of what was supposed to be a smile on her lips, but I couldn't get my mouth to form words. Instead, I just stared dumbly as she pushed open the door and walked out.

I sat there numbly for what seemed like forever. The whole scene swam through my mind much like someone had set me on mute and slow-motion. I desperately tried to think of some way I could've made her take me back in those 20 minutes I was talking to her, but nothing seemed to come to mind. Maybe I should just let her go. She's obviously done with me. She sounded like she was done with me a long time ago, but I wouldn't let myself think that.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally got my body to connect back to my mind and I walked out it seemed as though nothing had changed outside of the bathroom. Everyone was still sitting in the circle chatting away happily, tish included, as if the whole thing tish and me thing had never even occurred. Maybe it was for the best.

"Do you wanna tell us your story now that you've judged and labeled us all?" Danielle asks me with an expectant look on her face.

"Uhm, yea sorry. I guess so." I say kinda wishing they would've just dropped it. I walk over to an empty spot in the circle and sit down inbetween Danielle and Devin.

"Well, it kinda starts when I was 7. My parents got divorced, and since I wasn't old enough yet to choose who I wanted to live with, I spent the weekends with my dad and weekdays with my mom. My dad was so depressed, I guess you could say, from the divorce he started drinking. Alot. Only on the weekends of course though, like he told me before "I'm not going to lose my job over that bitch you call your mother." Plus, he didn't think his drinking was out of control like I knew it was. The night of my 12th Birthday, which happened to be a saturday, I was waiting for my dad to come home from work but he never showed early enough to celebrate it so I went to bed a depressed, pissed off kid. When my dad did finally decide to come home it was about 4 in the morning and he smelled horribly of alcohol and he was totally shitfaced drunk. When I tried to explain to him that I was fucking pissed he missed my birthday he told me I was lying and locked my in my room all day Sunday. When I finally went to my mom's house I tried, once again, to explain this to my mom but she told me my dad didn't drink and I shouldn't lie to her. It's all pretty much a pattern after that. My dad's become abusive, my mom is just as bitchy as ever, and they don't even know me. I pretty much threw my whole life into sports, girls, drugs, alcohol. I became more distant from my dad and I haven't seen him in...-I think for a minute- 3 years about." I finish with.

Everyone's silent. I inwardly laugh.

"Pretty fucked up, eh?" I ask.

"Damn right that's fucked up." Taylor is the first one to speak.

"Wow, Can I honestly say I'm not the least bit shocked for some reason?" Danielle laughs a little.

"Yea, well life goes on." I put my hands behind my head and lay down on my back on the cold floor of the stage. I wish I could go on. Why am I so stuck on Tish of all girls? I could have anyone in this entire school, and yet I choose Tish..