Under the Giant Oak

What the hell just happened? Like seriously, what the fucking hell? I just had sex with Ronnie. SEX with RONNIE! What is happening to me?

I seem to be in that phase where my own actions confused even me. I didn't regret it though. Of all the emotions running through my messed up brain, regret was not one. I don't know if that should scare me or not.

"What are you thinking about?" Ronnie asked. We hadn't bothered to get out of bed yet. We weren't touching though. He was on one side, and I was on the other.

"Stuff." I mumbled in reply. The ceiling was an interesting color of off white when the light from the window hits it just right.

"You regret it already?" He asked with hurt clear in his voice, and I'm sure if I looked, it would be written on his face.

"My mother used to say to never regret something you enjoyed." I mumbled again. I didn't want to give him a straight answer because that would prove my nauseating love for him, but I didn't want to make it seem like what he says is true. It wasn't, and I wasn't about to make it seem like it was.

"So, what now?" He asked quietly. I could see him look up to the ceiling same as me. His hands were behind his head, and he was seemingly staring at nothing.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, everything as basically been up to you up to this point. I've done everything I can to make you see that this is where you are supposed to be, so whatever is next, is your call." He explained.

"When does the three months end?" I asked not missing a beat. I heard him take a sharp breath and then he sighed.

"Around two weeks from now." He nearly whispered. I nodded my head and sat up trying to cover my still naked body as much as I could. I slipped the boxers that were on the floor beside me on and stretched up.

"You know, if I'm going to be living here, you are going to need a lot more color in this room. My old place was less boring than this." I stated looking around. There was a pause.

"You aren't leaving?" He asked quickly and quietly.

"Not unless you kick me out." I shrugged looking over him. He was leaning on one of his elbows with his hair set askew and a look of confusion over his face, but you could still see the hope in his eyes.

"If this is one of your stupid little jokes, than this is cruel and so not funny." He said sternly. I chuckled.

"You honestly think I'm that soulless?" I said sitting on the foot of the bed facing him.

"You're serious?" He asked.

"You know I could just leave now, if that's what you want."

"No! You aren't going anywhere." He said pulling me into his arms quickly. I laughed and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"You aren't going anywhere." He whispered again.

"Nowhere." I said reassuring his thoughts.

It was about time I admitted that I was going to stay. I probably would have known this three weeks ago, but I was too damn stubborn to admit anything about feelings at all. I do love him. I see that now, and he is worth all these sacrifices I'm about to make. I don't know why I feel this way, or even how I started thinking this way. But, it was nice, and I like it. The look on his face made it all worth it. Even though, this dream was going to have to end eventually.

I wanted to savor this moment, this embrace, this feeling of love. It was different, but it was the good different. I felt like I could be like this forever, and that if I got anymore like one of those stupid romance stories, I was going to kill myself. This was the person I never thought I would be.

"Is everyone decent?!" Someone yelled from the other side of the door. It was Patrick, so naturally he was going to make sure we weren't having sex right now. He was almost as squeamish as Monte around things like that, but he wouldn't go around screaming 'My eyes! My eyes!'

"Decent enough!" Ronnie yelled back. I was pretty much covering his bare chest with my own, so he had nothing to worry about.

"Whatever. Dinner is ready, if you guys want some food to eat. Though you seemed to have a fill today." He said. I could feel my face heat up.

"We'll be down in a bit." Ronnie replied. Patrick nodded curtly and left the room.

"Come on. We need to shower and get dressed." He said pushing me off of his lap.

"I know. I know. I'll go." I said getting up. He grabbed my hand before I could walk off.

"You know, it'll go quicker if we take one together." He smirked. Wow, tell a guy you won't leave him, and he automatically expects a constant supply of sex. Not that I was complaining.