The Caregiver Conundrum

"Sheldon! Leonard! One of you please let me in!" I called and pounded on the door in front of me. I had to raise my voice just to be heard of the wailing infant in my arms. I lived two doors down from Sheldon and Leonard and after getting hired at the university, i had been integrated into their little group. I had tried Penny first - she would probably better at dealing with a child - but she wasn't home. So instead I was trying for Sheldon and Leonard.

It felt like an eternity had passed, but Sheldon finally opened the door. He cast a mildly irritated, but otherwise apathetic look at baby Steph. "Who does that infant belong to and why did you bring it here?"

"My sister, Allison, asked me to babysit for her. I thought it'd be fine, but then it started screaming and I don't know how to make it stop!" My explanation came out sounding rushed and desperate. It probably wouldn't have if it had been Leonard who answered the door - he had a bit of a thing for me and overall he is easily persuaded. However, Sheldon is . . . well, he's Sheldon. And even though I get along with him best out of the group, I was still terrified he would turn me away as long as Stephanie was with me.

"Why did you bring it here?" he repeated.

"Can you please help me?" I asked and gave him my best set of puppy eyes.

He sighed and unwillingly stepped aside. I rushed in before he could change his mind.

"Have you fed it?"

"Twice."

"Has it had a bowel movement? Perhaps you should try cleaning it," he suggested, wrinkling his nose as he caught a wiff of her.

My eyes went wide and I tried to pass her to him. "No way, I don't do diapers. You do it."

"I think not," he retorted. "I don't even want to know how much bacteria that child is carrying."

"But you said you'd help me!"

"I said no such thing. I simply let you into the apartment."

I huffed and shifted the baby as my arms started getting tired. "Where's Leonard?"

"Out with Wolowitz and Koothrappali."

"Of course," I sighed and allowed the diaper bag to fall from my shoulder, hitting the floor with an audible thump. I grabbed one of the blankets Allison had packed and spread it on the floor and then gently laid Stephanie down on top of it.

"You're not going to change her in here!"

"You're bathroom gets too cold for me to lay her down in there," I snapped at him. If he wasn't going to help me, I wasn't going to bend to his neurosis. "Besides, I put a blanket down, so it's not hurting anything."

I could feel him glaring at me, but forgot all about that as soon as I undid the snaps on the legs of the sleeper Stephanie was wearing. I hadn't even touched the diaper yet and already a strong wave of smells hit me. I turned my face slightly away and used the excuse of getting out wipes and a fresh diaper to buy myself time before pulling off the soiled one.

I went about removing it and wiping her off as quickly as possible. Although it was hard to concentrate because as soon as she realized she was naked she started screaming louder. And then louder still when she felt the cold of the baby wipe. "I thought babies liked being naked," I grumbled.

I went to grab the diaper rash cream but found Sheldon already holding it out for me. Maybe this trip wasn't entirely useless after all.

As soon as I finished with the diaper change and finished redressing her, I was expecting her to stop crying. And while she did quiet down some, the tears continued to flow and I was beginning to feel helpless again.

"Are you sure she's not hungry?" Sheldon asked.

"Positive."

"Well does she need medical attention?"

"No, she was fine until Allison left."

"Well then I don't see what the problem is." He shrugged and gave her a look as if he were disappointed. "How can such a small child be so difficult to please? Honestly."

"Maybe you should hold her," I suggested.

"What good would that do? Besides, she's related to you. You hold her."

"I've been holding her, Sheldon."

"Then why should it work for me to hold her?"

"Sheldon, please?"

"Fine," he said. "But I don't think it will work." He leaned down and picked her up, holding her so that she was laying on his chest, her cheek resting near his shoulder.

While she continued making small noises, slowly the tears stopped and she brought up one tiny fist to stick in her mouth.

"Oh my gosh, it actually worked," I gasped, feeling deliriously happy as a silence settled in the room.

"Well, that's odd," Sheldon commented, raising one eyebrow. "It appears that the child has taking a liking too me. Normally children aren't influenced by individuals with high IQs, but obviously she has sensed and become attracted to my intelligence. Fascinating."

"You're IQ has nothing to do with it," I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well obviously it does, that's the only possible explanation for why she likes me better."

I was about to tell him that she probably just wanted to be held now that she'd been changed (funny how obvious it became after she stopped crying) but I knew it wouldn't change his opinion. So I just let it go and the three of us settled on the couch. Sheldon sat in his spot on the end, Stephanie now sound asleep on his chest, and I sat next to him and we settled in to begin a Star Trek marathon.