Coming Home to You

I smirk as I watch Jimmy walking past me, still limping slightly from his ass-kicking. He turns his face into Epona's stall angrily, where she's waiting for me to finish mucking out the others. She snorts, as if to say 'whatever' and Jimmy grumbles harsh things under his breath. I swat his arm playfully.

"Be nice."

"To that thing? I don't think so," he grimaces.

I sigh, shaking my head as I continue working, letting Jimmy take a pure black mare out to the pasture.

"You're too adorable to not be loved," I assure Epona, who nods her head up and down.

Suddenly, my phone rings in my pocket, scaring Epona a bit. I stroke her mane gently, trying to soothe her while I pull out my phone. No one else is in the barn working with me, so I decide to take Zack's call.

"What?"

"What ever happened to hello?"

"I'm working, babe."

Zack sighs. "Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice again." I can hear the pout in his now.

"What do you have for me?"

"Well, I talked with the director about it and said you needed more time. She wasn't happy, but she's giving you the power to call it. Which in my books says that you're a lucky bastard. Once you feel everything's settled down there and they aren't suspicious anymore, you can say when we raid the supply depots. Kay?"

I smile. "That's perfect. You're wonderful baby."

"I know I am. Now, tell me that you love me."

I sigh, rolling my eyes. "Seriously? Come on," I chuckle.

"Um, yeah. I deserve it. I'm like your call boy around here. They make fun of me for it," he hisses the last part through gritted teeth.

I can't help but laugh. "Alright, thanks baby. I love you."

"Yay! Love you too, sweet cheeks." He hangs up.

I stare at my phone, scoffing in disbelief. Sweet cheeks? That's new.

"Girlfriend?" Johnny walks in with a smile on his face.

I can feel myself heating up about a hundred degrees. "Um, no. Not really."

Johnny raises one eyebrow. "Boyfriend? I didn't pin you as the type, but I can see it now. You just keep it low key, huh? Don't worry, Jimmy and I are together, don't feel too bad about it around here."

"He's not my boyfriend-" I insist before Matt walks out of the office. "Fuck."

"Boyfriend," Matt says shortly, holding a cup of coffee as he walks out of the barn.

I run my hands through my hair, trying to see how this was not a set-up. "Oh come on Matt, you can't be fucking-" I growl, cutting my sentence short to follow him.

I leave Johnny back in the barn as I follow Matt, gripping his shoulder angrily to spin him around to me. "Did we not just have this conversation the other night?" I spit venomously.

"Yep. I never said I believed you though."

I throw my arms up in the air, unsure of whether I want to hit him or pull out all of my hair.

"Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm so sick and tired of your stupid games, okay? Just- don't go beating around the bush! I actually thought we were somewhat closer to actually being able to be around each other without killing ourselves."

"Well guess what-?"

"Guess what yourself, Matt," I hiss, "I think you don't know what to do, or how to act around me anymore, so you're putting both of us through this mixed emotions shit."

Matt's face goes a beet red. An angry beet red. And he comes at me faster than I could ever anticipate, his fist flying straight into my face. It connects just above my left eye, sending me flat on my ass. Matt is on me again in a flat second, straddling my waist and gripping my shirt tightly. "I'll show you mixed emotions," he growls, raising his fist once more. I wince, turning my head away. But he never comes.

"Matt!" His weight is yanked off of me, and when I open my eyes again, Jimmy is holding him back. Johnny holds his hand out to me, and I take it gratefully, hauling myself back up again. "Stop it!"

"You can fucking suck my dick, Haner!" Matt snarls towards me.

"You wish I would!" I fire back.

This gets him pissed enough to break free from Jimmy and plow right through Johnny to get to me again. This time he full on body slams me to the ground, even though I prepared myself for him. The wind is knocked out of me, and for a second, I can't get it back.

I can feel my nose being smashed in, and the blood starting to flow back into my windpipe. I gasp, and Matt is ripped off of me a second time.

"Shit man, you alright?" Johnny asks in a worried tone, eying my bloody nose as Jimmy leads Matt away.

I nod, feeling the blood pouring down the edge of my mouth and past my chin. I try wiping it away, but it's no use. "I'll be right back," I run back to the house.

The one thing I was thankful for on this ranch was that my room had an en-suit bathroom. Only my parents and both Matt's and my rooms had them. About half a roll of toilet paper later, the bleeding finally slows to a stop, and I'm just washing the dried blood off my face when I notice odd indents relative to where Matt punched me. I take a closer look, furrowing my eyebrows in curiosity. A ring? Was he wearing a ring to cause them? I hadn't noticed him wearing one the whole time I've been here. I frown, taking one last look at the oddly patterned lines before heading back outside to finish working.



I feel like we're back at square one a week later since Matt hasn't said so much as a single word to me after I hinted to the fact that he missed my skills in the sack. I'm just getting off of the phone with Zack later on in the night after trying to convince him for ten minutes that I have nothing new on the case when Jimmy opens the door on me. I feel pretty bad actually, because with my track record I should have a substantial amount of info on these criminals now. I wonder if the boss knows why I'm biding my time. I know Zack is getting pretty tired hearing I have nothing new every time he calls.

"Don't you know how to knock?" I comment. "I could've been having phone sex."

Jimmy snorts, trying not to laugh. "So you do have a boyfriend, Matt's right, and you're lying?"

I roll my eyes. "It was a joke."

"I know. Matt's just being... hard-headed. Wanna come down for a few beers? We're all just gonna cut loose tonight. We deserve it," Jimmy says with a smile. "He's in a good mood if you want to, you know, talk to him," he urges.

"As in piss drunk good mood?" I ask, knowing not to bother trying to get through to him if that's the case.

Though Jimmy shakes his head. "He's only on his first beer, unless he's a serious lightweight, which I think both of us know he isn't."

I smile, following Jimmy out of my room to head downstairs. I grab a bottle of beer for myself from the fridge and search for Matt. Johnny seems to notice this as he puts an arm around Jimmy's waist. "He's outside alone," He takes a swig from his own bottle.

I nod, heading out the door. The cool night air brushes up around my exposed arms, causing me to shudder a bit.

"You just missed the- oh, it's you." Matt turns back to leaning on the pasture fence, staring at the darkening navy blue sky, watching the last of the bright reds and pinks fade.

"The sunset," I finish. "I know."

"I thought you were Jimmy," Matt mutters, still staring out to the open space.

I open my beer on the wooden fence quietly, taking a sip before I lean on the posts as well next to Matt.

"Jimmy said you were in a good mood tonight. I thought I'd come out to chat."

"I was, until you showed up," Matt grumbles unhappily, drinking his beer.

I guess I put too much of my weight onto one of the posts, but there's a faint cracking sound, and the post bends under the pressure. "We need to replace the fence, Matt," I frown, wiggling the post next to it to find that it's loose in the ground as well as rotting.

Matt nods. "I know. There's just no time when the animals need you."

"Look, I came out here to talk." I finally breathe.

"We are talking."

"I came to apologize. I'm sorry about last week."

Matt frowns. "I like it better when we talk about the animals, or the ranch."

"I know," I say. "Because they aren't topics that we're trying to avoid."

Matt gets this look across his face, like I stabbed him in the gut. "You were right about the investigation here," he offers.

"I don't want to talk about the investigation. I want to talk about you and me. We need to get it out of the way." I move so that I'm standing right next to Matt, our folded arms on the fence almost touching.

"That's the problem," Matt growls. "You talk about it like it's a problem we can solve, or just forget about easily. I'm sorry Brian, but you can't solve a fucked up relationship like a math problem or a case."

"I'm not saying that we can," I defend. "I'm just saying that we need to talk about it."

"And what the hell is there left to talk about, Brian?"

"I want to fix it!"

"And there you go again with the fixable problem!" Matt shouts, getting angry and frustrated. "God- you know what? Going into the FBI was a good choice for you. God forbid you actually stayed and something fucked up along the way for us then. Then I wouldn't have been able to count down the days until you left again."

"So that's what you're doing?" I stare at him in disbelief. "You're twiddling your thumbs until I'm gone?"

"Yep. The truth hurts, doesn't it princess?"

"So this is what the angry barrier against me is all about? You hiding your emotions from me so that I can't see what's going on on the inside? Well, newsflash, buddy," I poke his chest harshly. "I can see everything."

Matt stares at me furiously for a second, before reaching one of his hands to the other.

"What are you doing?" I ask as something finally slips from his finger.

Matt smirks humorlessly before throwing something shiny onto the ground at me. "Bet you didn't see that coming, did you?" He mutters before walking away, leaving me to find the object and pick it up.

I pick the ring up, recognizing it instantly. I look back up at his retreating figure before looking back down at the ring in astonishment. It's the promise ring I gave him ages ago. That must explain the odd indents in my head left over from when he punched me. I can't believe he still wore this. I stand outside next to the fence a while longer, staring at the ring until I can't see it anymore with the darkness.

I miss the nights out here, when they were actually pitch black, not lit up with city lights. As soon as the first star appears, I jog back to the house, knowing I'm not finished with Matt yet.

"What the fuck?" He startles, pulling the dirty white shirt he was taking off back over his chest.

"I'm not done talking," I say quickly. "Not until you get the idea of what this," I hold the ring up for his eyes to catch, "means."

I cross the room in one easy stride, Matt backing against his bed. "What the hell are you-"

I cut him off, not by saying anything, but pressing my mouth up against his. Matt shuts up immediately as I wind my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to my body. As soon as I close my eyes stars explode in front of them, and all I want is for the moment to never end. I haven't had him in so long. I almost forgot what it was like. To be like this with him.

My lips move against his slowly, but feverishly, anxiously trying to get his to respond. I let out a pleasured sigh as my heart skips a beat when he wraps his arms around my waist, finally kissing me back.

I don't want it to end, but I have something to prove. And Matt needs to get it. I pull away from him, breathing heavily, still holding the ring in one hand. Longing clouds over his eyes as they search mine before he leans in to me again. I know I shouldn't, but I allow him to kiss me once more. When I pull away again, Matt gives off a frustrated sigh, starting to pace.

"Why the hell do you keep pulling away?" He rasps angrily.

"Because I needed to get your attention somehow. So you can understand one way or another."

Matt narrows his eyes. "Understand what, Brian? How much it fucking hurt when you packed your shit up and left? How broken my heart was? Well guess what? I understand all of that shit. It's you who doesn't get it. Now get out. I'm tired."

I sigh, not knowing any other way to get through his thick skull. He needs to stop wallowing in his own self pity for me to get anywhere. "What about this?" I finger the ring in front of him.

"Keep it. I don't need it anymore."