A Little More Than Convenient

|Trent Remington|
“Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!” Carmen exclaimed as I laid her Mom on the couch, “This is terrible! Really terrible!”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Carmen, she just fainted, that’s all.”
“That’s all!” she exclaimed. Then, she started running around like a psychotic three year-old. “Bad, bad, bad, bad!”
“Carmen!” I yelled, feeling a lot like her father, “She’s gonna be okay.”
“You haven’t met herrrr,” she sang, holding out the r. She flung herself to the ice maker on the refrigerator. She stuck a ziploc bag under the dispenser and filled it.
“She didn’t hit her head,” I rationalized.
“Doesn’t matter,” she replied, dashing to a drawer. She snatched a dish towel out of the drawer and said, “This’ll wake her up. Make her a glass of wine. It’s in the cupboard. And the chalices are in the cabinet above the stove.”
I shot into the kitchen, almost bumping into her. As I frantically located the wine, I assumed her mom would want white wine, so that was the one I grabbed. So as quickly as possible, I poured a glass and all but ran to the living room.
Carmen’s mom was coming to. I handed her the glass. “Thank you, dear,” she replied, taking a dainty sip.
Carmen rested the ice on her mother’s forehead. “Are you okay, Mom?”
Carmen’s mother waved her hand at her. “Darling, really, I’m fine. Please just stop fussing over me.”
“I’m just worried, Mom,” she replied, obviously exasperated.
“And I appreciate that, dear, but I’m fine, really.”
Carmen plopped down beside her. “Okay, then.” Then she patted the space beside her. I followed orders.
“Dear, you said that Trent is your husband?” she asked easily.
Carmen paused, then sighed. “Yes, Mom, he’s my husband. We’re married.”
Carmen’s mother processed this. “Well, then, why don’t you introduce us?”
“Of course,” Carmen replied, relaxing. She stood up. “Kira Sanchez, this is Trent Remington, my husband. Trent Remington, this is Kira Sanchez, my mother.”
“Charmed,” Kira said, holding out her hand. I shook it and said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Please, tell me how the two of you met. As a matter of fact, when did you meet?”
Carmen stared at me. I shrugged. “We met today. At the bank.”
Kira finished the wine within seconds of Carmen’s answer. “You just met today...and now you’re married.”
Carmen nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Why?”
Carmen looked pleadingly at me. “Love at first sight,” I offered. Carmen bit her lip.
Kira contemplated this. “Well, well, what a lovely story. But what will your father say?”
“He’s gonna have to accept it, whether he wants to or not,” Carmen said bravely.
Kira sighed. “He probably won’t like this. I’m not particularly happy. I wish you’d have waited a little longer, but if you’re happy, I can’t stand in the way of love.”
“Anyway, Mom, was there a certain reason you came over?” Carmen asked, obviously trying to change the subject.
“I came to congratulate you about Lizzie. You should see the dresses she chose. I actually took some pictures with my phone.” She pulled out her blackberry. “Look.” Carmen did.
“These are beautiful!” she exclaimed, “Trent, come see!” I ambled toward her. I’m a man, so I guess I can’t appreciate a beautiful dress. It was sleeveless and deep green, and it was really long. I suppose that’s a good thing.
“She’s decided on white-ish/silver-ish shoes, gold jewelry and red bouquets!” Kira declared, “You’re a miracle worker, Carmen!”
Carmen giggled. “All I did was rationalize it to her slowly. Hey, Mom, guess what?”
“What?”
Carmen gestured toward me. “Trent has a sister and she’s getting married the fourteenth of December.”
Kira’s mouth dropped. “That’s amazing. What a small world.” Then she surveyed the room. “Carmen, dear, are you moving?”
I nodded. “Yes, I’m moving to Trent’s apartment. It’s only logical, since his is bigger.”
“Where is it?” Kira asked, a bit nosily.
“I live in the Links,” I replied, “where you first come in from Harrisburg.”
“Oh, yes. Darren and I lived there after we got married.”
Darren’s my dad, Carmen mouthed. But really, I actually figured that.
“Anyway, Carmen, I must go. I’m having an early supper with some of the other Nestlé wives.”
Nestlé? I guess I’d have to ask Carmen later.
“Okay, Mom,” Carmen said, hugging her. “Thanks for coming by.”
“Anytime dear,” then she hugged me, which was a bit awkward, but I hugged her back. “And, it was great meeting you, Trent.”
“You, too, Kira,” I replied, hoping she didn’t want me to call her Mrs. Sanchez.
She sashayed off.
Carmen groaned. “I’m sorry.”
I smiled. “It’s fine. Just think, you’ve still got to meet my mom. No way will she be that calm.”
She shook her head. “It’s my dad I’m worried about. He may not be too pleased about this arrangement. Not that I’d tell him it’s a fake marriage, though.”
“It’d probably be best if we didn’t.”
She picked up some bags. “I have an idea. Let’s take these to your apartment, and then go out. Sort of a mini-honeymoon, only minus the honey part.” 
 “What would this include?”
“I was just thinking we could go get drunk. We could call Ross and Jessica and make one of them be our designated driver.”
I pondered it and grinned. “I like your thinking, Mrs. Remington.”
She grinned. “Come on the, pick up some bags. And, to be perfectly honest, it still feels kind of weird to be called Mrs. Remington. It’s not bad, it’s just...I don’t know.”
I nodded, taking her bag labeled, shoes. “I get it. You’ve been a Sanchez all your life, and now-”
“You know what’ll make this easier?” she interrupted.
“What?”
“I borrowed my Dad’s dolly a few days ago to move some shelves around. We can pile all the stuff on it, and I can drop it off at my parent’s later on.”
“Okay,” I replied, as she dashed off.
I gathered more bags in my hands. Carmen was definitely the most hyper woman I’d ever met...and she was my wife. I’m not sure why, but I liked the sound of it. Carmen and I. Carmen and me. Me and Carmen. Trent and Carmen. Married. Maybe I just liked the sound of being married, because now there wouldn’t be any of the awkwardness of dating, and no old ladies asking, do you have a special someone yet? Besides, it definitely seemed like Carmen and I could get along. She was nice and funny, and like I said before, hyper. Too much coffee perhaps?
“I’ve got the moves like Jagger. I’ve got the moves like Jagger. I’ve got the mo-oves like Jagger.” Carmen walked into the room with the dolly. “Start loading stuff on here!” she sang.
“Okay,” I replied, “but I have one question.”
“And what may that be?” she asked.
“Why were you singing?”
She smiled. “Because I found this!” she replied, holding out a chain around her neck. At the end of it, was a simple brown cross. It was pretty, I’ll give her that.
I dropped some bags onto the dolly. “How come it’s so important?”
She grinned. “Because, Jess made it for the two of us, and two more of our friends when we were freshman. We did this thing called “Bible Talk,” where we discussed-”
“The bible?” I offered.
She nodded. “Right.”
“You and Jess have been friends awhile, haven’t you?” I rolled the dolly out the door. She followed.
“Yep,” she replied, “for eleven years.”
“That’s a long time. Ross has been my best friend for fourteen years.”
 She chuckled. “That’s an even longer time.” Then she stopped talking and her face fell a tad bit.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, cautiously.
She sighed wanly. “Jessica wasn’t always my best friend. In grades first til’ the second semester of eighth grade, it was Lani Kipling. She and I were as close as sisters in elementary school. But when we reached fourth grade, I guess, I started to see a different side of her. She would often schedule something with me, and then just dropped me at the last minute if someone better showed up. In fifth grade, though, we started hanging out again. The same with sixth grade. That summer, it kind of changed, though. We grew apart. But in seventh grade, we patched it up again, and it lasted until, oh, I guess the first semester, which was when we started eating lunch with Jessica and her friend, Melanie. Lani and Melanie got to be good friends, and started hanging out with a girl named Miranda. Not to be cliché, but she had dyed hair and snake bites and wore the ugliest clothes in the world.” She shuddered at the memory. I couldn’t help but laugh
“Anyway, Miranda didn’t like me. You know why?”
“Why?”
“I’d like to know.”
“So, I guess Jessica and I just kind of got thrown together. But it worked, because she and I have a lot in common. She’s ten times the friend Lani was, but still, sometimes I’d like to know what I did wrong. Lani’s mom said I started stuff.”
I frowned. “Started stuff?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what I started, though.”
I chuckled. “So, do you miss Lani?”
We reached her car and she popped the trunk. “Nope, not at all. It took awhile to realize I’m better off without her, though. You know what I mean?”
“I guess,” I replied, “I’ve never really been in that situation.”
She brightened up. “I’m sorry about dumping all this on you. Here, I’ll follow you to your apartment.”
Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten that I’d drove over here.
“And, after we drop the stuff off, we can take the dolly back to my dad, and then go get hammered.”
We both laughed. “Like I said before, I like your style, Mrs. Remington.”