Boondock Saints

The grey sky stretched endlessly above the graveyard, the wind blew gently but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything, just numbed with pain. The dark shades covered my eyes so no one could see the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. Everyone that my brother and I knew was standing behind me, even Wiley. My black dress stretched to my knee caps and had thin straps. No one could see my figure because I had my jacket on.

As soon as the sky rumbled I looked up and began to feel gentle raindrops on my face. I slowly approached the grave that said 'Here Lies Patrick Shawn Ol'malley. Loving Son and Brother.' Under that was a littlle prayer with a small cross carved into the stone. I lifted his crucifix necklace off my neck and drapped it around his grave stone. No matter how many deep breathes I took, I couldn't stop myself from crying. All that I held in for 5 long years finally came out.

I leaned down and kissed the stone. Connor and Murphy came up from behind me, got on their knees and began to pray. I took the red roses from Connor and went to the grave next to Patrick's. My mom's grave. I placed the roses in front of her stone and croutched down.
"Happy birthday Mom, I love you." I spoke quietly.

My trembling lips just barely touched her stone before I stood up and went to my dad's. They were all gone, I was the last one of my family. My heart beat was something I couldn't feel because my chest gave off this numbing sensation that echoed. There was this feeling deep inside my stomach as if someone had taken a bite out of it.
I removed my shades and wiped away my tears.

"I promised you I would never cry at your funeral. . .Hell I didn't even get to go to your funeral." My voice went ragged as I chuckled in an upsetting way. I began to sob so I held my breathe and burried my face in the palms of my hands. "And I'm so, so, so sorry." I tried speaking more but my voice died out.

I had so much to tell them but they were long gone. So far away. How could I let them know how much I loved them and how lost I was without them? I couldn't. I placed my shades back over my eyes as the light rain turned to a down pour. Wiley walked up to me in a slow manner.

"Jessica, I'm so sorry for your loss."

Wiley was brief but when I didn't reply he stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Well, if there's something you need, I'm here for you." He turned and walked away.

Murphy and Connor walked up to me, fixing their coats. I looked up at them, still lost in my world of numbness.

"Come on, let's go. Rocco's already in the car." Connor gently stirred me in the direction to his car.

I felt like a zombie. Even when I sat beside Rocco, I couldn't make myself talk. A loud rumble came from the sky and grabbed my attention. I looked into the cloudy sky and imagined Patrick breathing in my arms. A place where he would stay awake for ever, deep in my mind. The same went with my mom and dad. For just a split of a second I saw all of us in the old livingroom wrestling around and laughing. I could see mom clearly, standing behind the couch laughing and telling us to calm down before one of us got hurt. My hand dug into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out my brothers' pack of cigarettes. I lit it up, rolled down the window a bit and took a deep breath.

"Hey, Jessie, why don't you come stay with me? All 3 of you guys can conme and stay as long as you'd like." Rocco proposed.

"No, I'm staying there. Connor and Murphy can stay with you if they want. Or if you want you can come stay with me. Eitherway, I don't care." I replied.

"Well, I guess it's up to you guys." Rocco replied.

"We're staying with her." Connor noted.

As soon as I walked in the house I took off my heels and jacket and began to sweep up all the broken glass. Connor and Murphy were cleaning up all the blood for me. I was about half way through when I fell to my knees, broom still in my hands. I breathed heavily and watched my tear drops drip on the floor. My hands clentched onto the broomstick as I silently vowed to make Yuri and his scum men pay.

I felt warm arms wrap around mine and a muscular chest press up against my back.

"It's okay Jessie, I'm here for you. It's okay." Connor whispered in my ear before he gently gave me a kiss on the cheek.