Status: Oneshot- dedicated tomy lovely readers of Suffering Alone In Silence
Cry Tough
Cry Tough
Those moments of magic, they were our alone
in a secret far from home
what I'd give just to see your smile
what I'd give for you to make that magic happen again
where I was your one and only
and I was your soul, the very air you breathe.
But it was magic made out of whiskey and desire
It was love, salvation and purity
Five Months Ago
I no longer recognise you, the alcohol has taken you from me. Night after night I watch you waste your life away with the hope of finding salvation at the bottom of the bottle. What we once had was beautiful, but now it is dry.
"Baby, come to bed," you slur at me, a drunken smile upon your pasty face.
The alcohol gives you this look, like your a china doll. The alcohol makes you look sick, your skin almost translucent. It pains me to look at you now. How I wish that I could turn back time.
For I can't find the right words anymore
and I'm losing all feelings in my mind
and I no longer can focus on the bad
because you are still everything good in this world
and now I'm thinking that I've stopped breathing
Three Months Ago
"Baby I love you and I am so sorry," You whisper down the phone line.
I sigh, but cannot bring myself to hate you, you dumb fool. I always wondered what you were thinking standing on the ledge of our apartment builing, right up there on the rooftop. Did you think you could fly? I bet at the time you thought you could. I am forever in debt to my neihbour who raised the alarm.
The young girl, just happened to look up, and was terrified beyond belief. I bring her coffee every few days, just so thankful that we talked and she knew how in love we were-are.
I sigh down the phone and tell you that I miss you at home, in my bed. I also remind you that I am visiting the next day. They say that you always work harder after seeing me. They tell me that you are on track for being out of that treatment facility within the thirty days that they admitted you for.
Now I am thinking that we've got forever
but time is just so short
it will never be enough to put my world back on its axis
beautilful fool
You've given me a fever where you are the cause
and my cure.
I'd sell my soul just to feel you close to me at night.
your body pressed tight against mine.
One Month Ago
i took you home sober. My beautiful lover was back. Your eyes sparkled with a new life, your hand in mine as I drove us home, back to our home.
We spent the night in the same bed. No longer would I sleep in the spare room, no longer would I hear you vomiting noisily into the toilet and no longer would I have to watch as you sobbed about how bad you thought you were. Baby you were just lost.
I remember the day we slept together for the first time in nearly a year. You had gone out and made a special effort to set the mood. You cooked home made pizza's, with the special dough that you make, and how we shared a bottle of sparkling water under the stars on top of our apartment building. Before it got too cold, you wrapped me in your arms and kissed me with so much passion and love I thought I could die.
Back inside our little apartment, and inside our room- it was now our room again, and I still can't get over how special that is to me. We shared the most intimate of touches, the most sensual of kisses, and the most embarrassing undressing I think we've ever experienced. It was so beautiful that as you entered me I could have cried of happiness.
You were back, more beautiful than ever before, and you showed me something that night that never had I ever seen in my life.
Even to this day I still don't understand your rebirth.
Our legs entangled beneath the sheets
a tangled mess of limbs and skin; bone and muscle
asleep or awake, your kisses on my arms,
a lullaby and a whispered secret,
under the cover of darkness,
memories had been made
Present Day
We lay watching a movie, just taking in each other. We've gone back to our lives, the break having done wonders to everyone. We're all excited and eager to get back out and show the world our rebirth.
Your brother is still weary of our comeback, and although he won't admit it out loud, he's scared, he doesn't want to see you go back to what you were.
Back up on that stage you are a new person, no longer a stumbling fool, wasting away. These kids have embraced you and supported you and they consider your rebirth a miracle, that only the most devine of god could have created.
They all ask you how you feel, how you did it. 'How did this affect the work you produced?' they ask.
Your reply is always the same. Its a knowing smile followed by 'if it weren't for these people sitting by me today I never could of done it'
We all nod in agreement, because it's a mask. They are to never know that I had to make the most heartbreaking of decisions to send you to that clinic. We are not proud people, but it was the right thing to do.
Another day, another place, another person, but it is still the same question 'How did this affect the work you produced?'
I sit there and smile, knowing what the answer will be. First the knowing smile, yes that still emerges, but I am floored by what follows, and I know the rest of us are all just as surprised. Even the person who asked the question.
'faith'
On the radio the DJ plays our song
I sit here wishing that I wasn't wasting my time
listening to this song that just reminds me of you
and intead dreaming of you, while you lay beside me
a hand on my heart.
"And I'll have you know that you could only be reborn if you have given everything you knew to be right; up. Rebirth is all about taking what you know and destroying it in order to be stronger.
But you must never mistake resistance for rejection"
in a secret far from home
what I'd give just to see your smile
what I'd give for you to make that magic happen again
where I was your one and only
and I was your soul, the very air you breathe.
But it was magic made out of whiskey and desire
It was love, salvation and purity
Five Months Ago
I no longer recognise you, the alcohol has taken you from me. Night after night I watch you waste your life away with the hope of finding salvation at the bottom of the bottle. What we once had was beautiful, but now it is dry.
"Baby, come to bed," you slur at me, a drunken smile upon your pasty face.
The alcohol gives you this look, like your a china doll. The alcohol makes you look sick, your skin almost translucent. It pains me to look at you now. How I wish that I could turn back time.
For I can't find the right words anymore
and I'm losing all feelings in my mind
and I no longer can focus on the bad
because you are still everything good in this world
and now I'm thinking that I've stopped breathing
Three Months Ago
"Baby I love you and I am so sorry," You whisper down the phone line.
I sigh, but cannot bring myself to hate you, you dumb fool. I always wondered what you were thinking standing on the ledge of our apartment builing, right up there on the rooftop. Did you think you could fly? I bet at the time you thought you could. I am forever in debt to my neihbour who raised the alarm.
The young girl, just happened to look up, and was terrified beyond belief. I bring her coffee every few days, just so thankful that we talked and she knew how in love we were-are.
I sigh down the phone and tell you that I miss you at home, in my bed. I also remind you that I am visiting the next day. They say that you always work harder after seeing me. They tell me that you are on track for being out of that treatment facility within the thirty days that they admitted you for.
Now I am thinking that we've got forever
but time is just so short
it will never be enough to put my world back on its axis
beautilful fool
You've given me a fever where you are the cause
and my cure.
I'd sell my soul just to feel you close to me at night.
your body pressed tight against mine.
One Month Ago
i took you home sober. My beautiful lover was back. Your eyes sparkled with a new life, your hand in mine as I drove us home, back to our home.
We spent the night in the same bed. No longer would I sleep in the spare room, no longer would I hear you vomiting noisily into the toilet and no longer would I have to watch as you sobbed about how bad you thought you were. Baby you were just lost.
I remember the day we slept together for the first time in nearly a year. You had gone out and made a special effort to set the mood. You cooked home made pizza's, with the special dough that you make, and how we shared a bottle of sparkling water under the stars on top of our apartment building. Before it got too cold, you wrapped me in your arms and kissed me with so much passion and love I thought I could die.
Back inside our little apartment, and inside our room- it was now our room again, and I still can't get over how special that is to me. We shared the most intimate of touches, the most sensual of kisses, and the most embarrassing undressing I think we've ever experienced. It was so beautiful that as you entered me I could have cried of happiness.
You were back, more beautiful than ever before, and you showed me something that night that never had I ever seen in my life.
Even to this day I still don't understand your rebirth.
Our legs entangled beneath the sheets
a tangled mess of limbs and skin; bone and muscle
asleep or awake, your kisses on my arms,
a lullaby and a whispered secret,
under the cover of darkness,
memories had been made
Present Day
We lay watching a movie, just taking in each other. We've gone back to our lives, the break having done wonders to everyone. We're all excited and eager to get back out and show the world our rebirth.
Your brother is still weary of our comeback, and although he won't admit it out loud, he's scared, he doesn't want to see you go back to what you were.
Back up on that stage you are a new person, no longer a stumbling fool, wasting away. These kids have embraced you and supported you and they consider your rebirth a miracle, that only the most devine of god could have created.
They all ask you how you feel, how you did it. 'How did this affect the work you produced?' they ask.
Your reply is always the same. Its a knowing smile followed by 'if it weren't for these people sitting by me today I never could of done it'
We all nod in agreement, because it's a mask. They are to never know that I had to make the most heartbreaking of decisions to send you to that clinic. We are not proud people, but it was the right thing to do.
Another day, another place, another person, but it is still the same question 'How did this affect the work you produced?'
I sit there and smile, knowing what the answer will be. First the knowing smile, yes that still emerges, but I am floored by what follows, and I know the rest of us are all just as surprised. Even the person who asked the question.
'faith'
On the radio the DJ plays our song
I sit here wishing that I wasn't wasting my time
listening to this song that just reminds me of you
and intead dreaming of you, while you lay beside me
a hand on my heart.
"And I'll have you know that you could only be reborn if you have given everything you knew to be right; up. Rebirth is all about taking what you know and destroying it in order to be stronger.
But you must never mistake resistance for rejection"