Re-Imprint

I didn’t know how long I ran, or how far I went. Vaugely I remembered some tall buildings and jostling people. When I stopped I was in a large park, full of children and people walking their dogs. I plopped down onto a bench beside a tree and sighed.

Very few people even glanced at me. And when they did, it was either with confusion or fear. I probably looked odd sitting there, in my cut-off jean shorts and t-shirt. From what I knew about Seattle weather, it was oddly cold for October. Winter months rarely went below thirty degrees, and yet it was already that chilly.

The park was large, with picnic tables, paths, a small playground, and some tennis courts across the street. There was a sign that read ‘Magnolia Park’ and nodded. Bella had said something about the neighborhood we had moved into. It was the part of Seattle called Magnolia and covered with more green forests and isolated from the rest of the city. The only way to get to the rest of Seattle was by three bridges.

When I thought about it, it made more sense. Less people, less chance for suspicions. That sick feeling of dread washed over me again. I was worried about what this change would mean for all of us. Nessie was still growing at incredible rate, but it had slowed down since the Volturi had visited nine months ago. We could pass her off as being seven, or eight now. Though her body had slowed down, her mind was increasing even faster than before. She understood nearly everything around her, and what she couldn’t fully grasp, she questioned. It terrified me how smart she had become.

I stood up from the bench, suddenly not wanting to be in one place. My skin felt like it crawling, trying to climb off of me. I walked down a trail through the park, stepping neatly around people. Their voices were overly loud to my sensitive ears, one of the heightened abilities I had never quite gotten used to. The laughter of children caught my attention and I looked over to the huge jungle gym in the center of the small playground.

It immediately made me think of Nessie. Instead of the usual pang of sadness I felt when he wasn’t with me, I felt a hollow ache. Like she had left me and was gone. Panic welled up in me, closing my throat, and I choked on a noise of horror. I made to turn away and start back to the house, but froze in my steps.

The first thought that went through my head was that she was way too bundled up for the weather. Sure, it was cold, but she had on layers and layers of clothing. She was sitting on the swings, her head down cast as she pushed her feet through the woodchips. I sucked in a breath; sure the people around me could hear the furious pounding of my heart.

It hit me hard, and this time, it was completely different. It wasn’t soft, warm or peaceful. This was harsh, breath-taking, and nearly painful. I felt like I had been slapped, stripped down raw. This hurt, but at the same time I felt a deep ache in me, in my soul. I stared at her, desperately trying to hear her heartbeat amidst all those around her, but nothing came. The breath in my body left in a loud woosh.

Was I re-imprinting?
I recoiled backwards as if struck and stumbled into someone. I thought I had mumbled a ‘sorry’ but couldn’t be sure. My feet took me back along the path, even as I wanted to rush forward. I wanted to shake the chains on her swing, to scream Look at me! just so I could know the color of her eyes. And I wanted to know so badly that it was painful. All I could see was the paleness of her skin and blue puffy coat. Even her hair was hidden under a fuzzy hat. I tried to listen for her heartbeat again, but it was obscured by laughing kids and barking dogs. Or maybe she didn’t have one.

Who was she? How could she do this? A searing hate like I had never known flowed through my veins, mixing with the deep longing I felt to know her. To know her smile, the scent of her hair, the way she moved and how she thought. But I never wanted to talk to her, never wanted her pale face to ever fill my gaze again. I hated and wanted her.

I felt disgusted and sick. I turned to move even farther away while every instinct in my body was screaming to go back to her. There was a part of me telling to run run run , maybe it was my head or my heart, but I listened. I ran, bumping into people who yelled angrily as I sped by and into the woods.

My clothing ripped away from my body, the change coming as I leapt through the air. I let my brain go over to the wolf, letting it fill my senses. This time when I ran, nothing stopped me. I ran all the way to Forks. I didn’t even realize I cried the whole time.