My Darling, My Dear
Introduction
I think the worst part about it; is that you don't know what's real and what's fake anymore; you lose your grip on reality. You keeping telling yourself, "He didn't leave. He's still here." But you truly know, he's gone. You just don't have enough strength to believe it. So you sit there, and cry. You sit there, and it's hard to believe that, even though you have SO many people who care about you; you feel so alone. How can you feel so alone in a world with almost 7 billion people? It's simple... you just don't care anymore. About anything. Because the only person you really had, you only true friend, that you could tell EVERY secret to, that wouldn't ever judge you... is gone. Who do you go to? Who do you tell your problems to? What do you do? Nothing. Because there's nothing you can do. Yes, you have other people, but now you're scared. You're scared to date, to even get close to anyone again. Because that pain... You don't ever want to go through so much pain again. So you enclose yourself; you act okay for a week or so... but you aren't. Because you don't want people to care, because the only person you want to care is gone. So you become distant, and feel guilty for not telling people stuff anymore.. for not being there for them. And then, you give up. You start to not talk as much, to not vent as much.... And due to that, your anger and pain builds up; it controls you, and you breakdown.... And sadly, that is only the beginning.