Status: Finished
Golden Slumbers
Bullies
Oli
Till didn’t sit with us today, and I actually missed him. Alejo and Charlie are cool too, but Till likes to talk and I like to listen to him. He’s interesting. But I saw him later and now I’m freaking out about what else he might know.
He caught me in Math, a class where we don’t talk a lot. He’s told me he has a hard time with Math and needs to focus. But he sat behind me today, in one of the seats in the back. Part way through class I could feel his breath on my neck. It made my skin tingle.
“Oli, I want to talk to you.”I nodded and felt his lips accidentally brush my ear. His mouth is very soft. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded again and heard him take a breath. “In freshmen year...were you bullied?” I tensed up, curling my hands into fists.
I try not to think of that year, when I lost all my friends, got beaten up all the time, had every single thing I did picked on. People would follow me home, threatening to hurt me. They tossed me around the locker room and stole my school work. I tried to kill myself eventually, took a knife to my wrists. My mom found me on my bed in a puddle of blood. Her face after that keeps me alive. I know now that I’m all she has, that losing me would destroy her, and I’ll never hurt my mom like that again.
After that year I hardened myself, left everyone behind but Alejo and Charlie. In sophomore year some guys tried to bully me again, but I found them on the way home, held a knife to one of the boys’ throats, and promised I would cut them all up if they bothered me again, if anyone bothered me again. Then I broke his arm, left him crying on the ground. I guess they didn’t rat me out, because I know that should’ve gotten me arrested, but by then I was too desperate to care. No one’s bothered me since then.
The scars on my wrists are fading, and I thought I’d left that all behind. I couldn’t even tell Till yes without getting too angry, so I just nodded. Till put a hand on my shoulder, leaning his forehead against my neck. “I’m so sorry.” I just nodded again. The touch of his skin on mine was comforting.
“Is that why you’re so down lately? Are they bullying you again?” His voice was protective, which made me smile. “No.” “What is it then? You’re telling me later.” I was about to refuse when the teacher barked at us to stop. I managed to leave school without Till catching me, but now I’m at home, worrying about how he found that out, and what else he knows.
On a side note, Ms. G, I’ve kinda told you a lot in this notebook, especially this part. You seem like a pretty cool teacher, so would you mind not telling anyone about the time I held a knife to a guy’s throat? I’ll never do it again, and to be honest the memory probably scares me more than it scares them. I was so desperate I would’ve done anything to save myself, and I got crazy. So...please don’t get me arrested?
Till didn’t sit with us today, and I actually missed him. Alejo and Charlie are cool too, but Till likes to talk and I like to listen to him. He’s interesting. But I saw him later and now I’m freaking out about what else he might know.
He caught me in Math, a class where we don’t talk a lot. He’s told me he has a hard time with Math and needs to focus. But he sat behind me today, in one of the seats in the back. Part way through class I could feel his breath on my neck. It made my skin tingle.
“Oli, I want to talk to you.”I nodded and felt his lips accidentally brush my ear. His mouth is very soft. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded again and heard him take a breath. “In freshmen year...were you bullied?” I tensed up, curling my hands into fists.
I try not to think of that year, when I lost all my friends, got beaten up all the time, had every single thing I did picked on. People would follow me home, threatening to hurt me. They tossed me around the locker room and stole my school work. I tried to kill myself eventually, took a knife to my wrists. My mom found me on my bed in a puddle of blood. Her face after that keeps me alive. I know now that I’m all she has, that losing me would destroy her, and I’ll never hurt my mom like that again.
After that year I hardened myself, left everyone behind but Alejo and Charlie. In sophomore year some guys tried to bully me again, but I found them on the way home, held a knife to one of the boys’ throats, and promised I would cut them all up if they bothered me again, if anyone bothered me again. Then I broke his arm, left him crying on the ground. I guess they didn’t rat me out, because I know that should’ve gotten me arrested, but by then I was too desperate to care. No one’s bothered me since then.
The scars on my wrists are fading, and I thought I’d left that all behind. I couldn’t even tell Till yes without getting too angry, so I just nodded. Till put a hand on my shoulder, leaning his forehead against my neck. “I’m so sorry.” I just nodded again. The touch of his skin on mine was comforting.
“Is that why you’re so down lately? Are they bullying you again?” His voice was protective, which made me smile. “No.” “What is it then? You’re telling me later.” I was about to refuse when the teacher barked at us to stop. I managed to leave school without Till catching me, but now I’m at home, worrying about how he found that out, and what else he knows.
On a side note, Ms. G, I’ve kinda told you a lot in this notebook, especially this part. You seem like a pretty cool teacher, so would you mind not telling anyone about the time I held a knife to a guy’s throat? I’ll never do it again, and to be honest the memory probably scares me more than it scares them. I was so desperate I would’ve done anything to save myself, and I got crazy. So...please don’t get me arrested?