Status: Finished

Golden Slumbers


Till had to sleep over last night. I'm so angry at his father I want to hit something. I was walking home from seeing my mom, lost in thought, when I saw someone sitting on the swings at the park.
The curve of his back, his hair, was familiar. I walked closer and saw his shoulders were shaking. He turned, and I realized it was Till. His face was tearstained. I sped up. "Till!"

He tumbled off the swings and ran for me, hugging my waist as he cried. "Till, what happened?" He sobbed something about his dad. I needed him to calm down, so I took his hand and brought him back to my house.
When he finally calmed down he explained about his dad. I felt so angry, that someone would treat his kid like that. Stupid son of a bitch. I couldn't really think of what to say. "I'm so sorry, Till. What can I do?" He smiled up at me, so beautiful my heart ached. "Kiss me?" So I did.

I think Till is going to sleep over my house again tonight. I tried mentioning his dad when we got up, but the clipped way he spoke warned me not to try. When we got to school his best friend, Ella, ran up to us.
She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Till, your dad called last night..." He shrugged her off before she could finish. "I don't want to think about my dad right now." "Okay." Ella eyed me for a second before she took Till's hand and pulled him away. I didn't want to leave him, but I had to anyway.

Till spent lunch with me. Alejo and Charlie were talking about their summer plans (surfing and road trip) and what they wanted to do at college. It made me hurt a little to think I'd be leaving them all behind.
Alejo's going to University of Connecticut, and Charlie's going to work at his uncle's hunting goods store in Maine, so at least they'll be close. Whenever I look at Till, all I can think of is how soon I'll have to leave him.

We walked home after school, cause it's sunny, and warm, and my house isn't that far away. Till was quiet and slumped beside me. I nudged him. "Till." "Yeah?" "You want to talk about it?"
He looked like he was going to shake his head, but then he spoke. "I don't hate who I am, Oli. I'm fine with being gay. I knew it even before my mom left." He paused when some kids ran past. "But?"

"But my dad isn't okay with it. He never was. I thought we got better after I lived with Ella for bit. I thought maybe he was starting to accept me a little. " Till sighed and tugged his backpack up.
"I just....he's my dad. The only family I have left. I want him to like me. I want acceptance. I just wanted him to fucking love me!"Till's hands were clenched, and his voice was rising.

People were starting to stare, but I didn't want to stop him. "I've always had to work for it! Work for everything goddamn good thing I got out of him! That's why mom left, cause she couldn't take never being enough anymore! He doesn't know how to give love! I've never been good enough. I hate him!"
We had reached my house by then, and Till threw open the door, tossing his stuff to the floor. "I hate him! I hate that bastard so fucking much!" He fell face down on the couch, so I could barely hear his next words. "Why doesn't he love me?"
his was softer, mumbled out through his tears. It was so quietly heartbroken I pitied him. "Till....What can I do?" "Can...can I stay with you? Just till school ends! Please?" I kissed his cheek and smiled, ignoring the familiar pang at the thought of school ending.
"Of course. We'll go get your stuff tomorrow after school." "My dad won't be home then." "Good." I don't want to meet Till's dad. I'm afraid I'll punch him.