I Can't Not Love You

[Jack]

“I swear to god, if I heard the word ‘Disney’ one more time today, I might go insane,” Zack muttered to me, and I laughed quietly. We had played a show yesterday night in Orlando, Florida and we had today and tomorrow off, so everyone was staying in a hotel together until tomorrow morning. Of course, since we were in Orlando, Flyzik had begged and pleaded for us to go to Disney World with him. Most of the band and crew had decided to tag along with him, including myself. We had spent most of the day there and were just now getting back to the hotel around seven o’clock. Flyzik was perfectly content now that his Disney obsession had been satisfied, but the rest of us were trying to think of something fun to do tonight. Even after spending the entire day in the heat, we weren’t very tired.

“Is there anything to do that’s actually fun?” Danny questioned as we walked into the lobby together.

Flyzik scowled, “Disney World is fun!”

“Stop saying that word!” Zack groaned, covering his ears.

“It was fun for a few hours, and then it just got creepy,” Rian said with a shrug. I laughed when Flyzik flipped him off, glancing down at my phone when I got a text.

From: Garrett
To: Jack
Pat & I found a bar on the bottom floor of the hotel. Everyone who wants to come, meet down there around 9? ;)

“Garrett just texted me and said that there’s a bar on the bottom floor of this hotel, apparently. He said to meet them down there at nine if we want to,” I spoke up.

“Yeah!” Alex nodded quickly. “I think I need some alcohol to clear out all the Disney songs and screaming children I’ve got burned into my mind.”

“Was it seriously that bad?” Flyzik whined as we all headed toward the elevators.

Evan laughed, “We’re just teasing dude. Seriously though, put the Mickey Mouse toy down. Even the kids in this lobby are starting to look a little creeped out.”

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Three hours later I was down in the hotel bar, despite how much Danny had protested beforehand. He hadn’t wanted me to come to the bar with them because of what happened with Alex and I last time we went to a bar. I had refused to stay up in me and Alex’s hotel room though. I didn’t want to sit in there alone all night, just to avoid Alex. I wanted to have fun with anyone.

After a few shots though, I had wandered away from my friends. They were getting to that annoying point of being drunk, plus most of them were just staring at girls’ boobs as they walked by or came over to talk. Boobs were no interest to me, even when I was drunk. I also didn’t want Alex to try and do anything with me like last time. He was drunk enough that he was going to do something stupid if I was around. As I was wandering around, I noticed a group of three guys at the bar counter. Two of them were holding hands. Hmm...

I walked right over to the three guys, not even nervous about approaching a group of strangers. “Hi,” I greeted.

“Uh, hi... sorry, but who are you?” one of the guys asked. He was the only one in the group with blonde hair, so he kind of stuck out among the others.

“A drunk and bored guy trying to avoid someone,” I admitted, shrugging and glancing at Alex across the bar.

One of the other guys, a skinny dark-haired guy who was holding hands with a tall darker-haired guy, looked me over for a few moments, eyes going down to my tight skinny jeans. “Are you gay?” he questioned, earning a smack on the arm from the guy he was holding hands with.

“Sean! You can’t just ask a guy in a bar if he’s gay!” the darker-haired guy exclaimed, looking up at me cautiously, probably hoping I wouldn’t beat his ass.

“I am gay, actually,” I chuckled, and Sean smirked.

“Thought so. My gaydar was going nuts. I am too, obviously,” he said, lifting up his hand that was linked with the other guy’s. “This is my boyfriend Mason, and that’s Tanner. Tanner is gay too.”

“Guilty as charged,” Tanner, the cute blonde-haired boy, smirked at me.

“Well, I’m Jack,” I introduced myself.

“Hey Jack. Why don’t you sit down with us,” Tanner offered, scooting over a seat so I could sit in between him and Sean.

“So who are you avoiding?” Sean asked.

I sighed, “My friend Alex. It’s kind of complicated.”

“More than a friend?” Mason asked knowingly.

“Sort of. I love him, but he doesn’t know about it because I don’t really want him to. And last time we were at a bar, we kind of ended up making out. He didn’t even give it a second thought though, so it made me upset,” I said. Why was I pouring my heart out to a couple of strangers at a bar?

“Aw! You poor thing!” Sean said sympathetically.

“That has to be terrible,” Tanner said. He looked up and got the bartender’s attention, holding up the glass he was drinking from. “Hey, can I get another one of these for our new friend here?”

Once I had a drink, the four of us started talking more. It was ironic how when I was drunk I could admit all this stuff to a bunch of strangers, but when I was sober I was too afraid to tell my own friends. I suppose that’s alcohol for you. We all were sitting at the bar talking for probably an hour or so, just having a good time after kind of explaining our backgrounds to each other. It was nice to get all of this off my chest to someone other than Danny.

Sean and Mason had gone off somewhere, presumably to make out or go back to their hotel room. Tanner and I were still sitting at the bar, talking. Tanner suddenly nudged me and I looked up at him. “Is that the guy you were talking about? I saw you look at him a few times,” he said, pointing at Alex. Alex was now sitting with John down from us at the bar counter.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“You’re right, he is hot,” Tanner mused.

“Hey!” I frowned and he laughed at the jealous look on my face.

“Don’t get so jealous,” he chuckled.

An idea popped into my head as he spoke, and I smirked slightly. “Hey, speaking of jealous... would you be interested in helping me make Alex a little jealous?”

“What’re you suggesting?” Tanner questioned, taking another sip of his drink.

“Well, maybe if I’m making out with you or something, Alex will notice and get jealous,” I said, cheeks burning slightly. Did I really just suggest that?

Tanner grinned, “Sure, sounds good to me.”

“Really? You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, sure. As long as he isn’t going to beat me up or something, I’m fine with it,” he laughed, glancing over at Alex. Alex just happened to be glancing around, and a look of recognition came across his face as he noticed me.

“He saw me. I think he’s coming over here,” I said, seeing him stand up.

“It’s now or never then. You sure you wanna do this?” Tanner asked cautiously. I nodded and he smirked. “Alright, good. Let’s make him jealous.”

Tanner got off his bar stool to get closer to me, leaning forward to press his lips against mine firmly. I kissed him back, pulling him closer so he was right up against me. We were both drunk, so within half a minute I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss and making it hotter. Fuck, this guy was a good kisser. It wasn’t anything like Alex’s kiss though.

I don’t know how long we were making out like that, but I heard a familiar laugh as Alex said, “Hey, Jack! Way to go, bro!”

I broke away from Tanner, cheeks flushed, and looked up at Alex. He just grinned, giving me a thumbs up before going back to John. I let out a growl in complaint, putting my head in my hands as I leaned back against the counter. Tanner laughed softly, “That backfired.”

“Obviously.” We were silent for a few more moments, just sitting there.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re a really good kisser,” Tanner spoke up, and I laughed.

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I headed upstairs a little while later, after exchanging phone numbers with Tanner. I was tired and just ready to go to bed. I stumbled out of the elevator drunkenly and sleepily, looking around to try and find my room. Alex and I were sharing a hotel room, as usual. I finally spotted our room and dug the keycard out of my pocket, dropping it as I went to put it in the door. I paused as I picked it up, hearing noises coming from in the room. I could hear muffled moans and grunts coming from inside. Was Alex jerking off or something?

I hesitated, unsure if I should go in. My head spun again though, and I decided I really needed to just go in and lie down. I slid the keycard into the door and opened it quietly, not wanting to startle Alex. I walked inside but before I even shut the door, my eyes widened in shock. The moans and groans weren’t just coming from Alex. They were coming from Alex and John O’Callaghan.

They were fucking. Oh my god. Alex and John were having full-on sex in our hotel room, right in front of me. Holy shit.

I snapped out of my shock as Alex moaned out John’s name, feeling upset and sick to my stomach. I yanked the door back open numbly, shutting it behind me quietly as I tried to hold back the wave of tears.