I Can't Not Love You

[Jack]

I had forgotten how wild everyone on the bus could get when the boys from The Maine were around. After talking to fans for a while after the show, both bands had headed back to our bus to celebrate the first night of the tour. Colussy and Rian had gone to the store to buy the alcohol, since Flyzik had forgotten to supply the bus with it. I had immediately popped open a drink, hoping to drink my frustrations out.

I had completely forgotten about the kind of stuff that Alex likes to goof around about on stage. I froze up when he kissed me on the corner of the lips and just ended up faking a smile for the crowd and playing around. It was just for show, anyway. Danny had tried to talk to me after we came off stage, obviously realizing that I was slightly upset over Alex kissing me. I had just pushed past him to walk away and go shower.

There was nothing to talk about – Alex just saw us as friends, and it would never be anything more than that. Why should I make myself even more upset by talking to Danny about it?

I was definitely drunk by now, but I was kind of angry because the alcohol hadn’t helped to lighten my mood at all. I was still upset. I had been goofing around with the others, but now I was just leaning against the counter watching. John O’Callaghan and Garrett Nickelsen were jumping around with Alex and Vinny, dancing to some song I couldn’t recognize. Pat Kirch, Kennedy Brock, Rian, Evan, and Grieco were standing at the very front of the bus, talking. Jared Monaco, Zack, Jeff, Flyzik, and Colussy were sitting in the back lounge, talking and laughing.

And here I was, standing at the outskirt of the group. I probably looked like such a grouch right now.

“Jack, you alright?” I turned around and saw that Danny had walked up to me.

“I’m fine, Danny,” I sighed.

“You don’t look like you are. C’mon, I know you’re at least a little bit bothered by what happened.”

“Danny, I’m fine,” I snapped, scowling at him.

Danny frowned, “Jack, you can’t keep your feelings bottled up for your whole life. It’s eventually going to hurt you.”

“Better me than everyone else,” I muttered, setting my cup down on the counter.

“Jack, don’t say that,” he sighed. “If you just-”

“You know what? I’m just going to go to bed. I’m tired,” I interrupted.

I pushed past him, ignoring his protests as I walked back to the bunks. I tugged my jeans off before crawling into my bunk. Unfortunately, I could still hear everyone loud and clear. It was almost one in the morning, so hopefully they would shut up soon. I knew that Flyzik would be out there soon to kick everyone else off the bus.

I ended up falling asleep, despite the noise, but I was suddenly woken up by someone crawling into my bunk. The bus was quiet now – it must be late. I immediately freaked out, trying to push the person out of the bunk. I was met with a whine of protest.

“Jack, don’t,” I heard Alex whine, and I stopped panicking.

“Alex, what the fuck are you doing?” I grumbled, yawning.

Alex managed to crawl into my bunk successfully, pushing me toward the wall. “Vinny’s asleep in my bunk. I didn’t feel like kicking him out,” he said tiredly, voice slightly slurred, lying beside me on my pillow. He was only in his boxers and a t-shirt, like me.

“You couldn’t have taken his bunk or slept on a couch?” I complained, pulling my blankets closer to me.

“It’s cold! I wanna sleep here,” Alex said stubbornly, pulling part of my blankets over him. He curled onto his side, his bare legs against mine.

“Fine,” I mumbled, rolling onto my side. “Just don’t rape me.”

--------------------

I woke up to the sound of light snoring in my ear and was scared for a moment, until I remembered that Alex had crawled into my bunk. His arms were wrapped around me and we were in a spooning position. I wiggled out of his arms and my eyes widened as I realized that I had a boner. God dammit, Alex. I shook Alex by the arm in an attempt to wake him up.

“Alex, get out of my bunk!” I insisted. Alex grunted in protest.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, burying his face in my pillow.

“Get up!” I pushed him and his eyes shot open as he slid out of the bunk, getting stuck in the curtain for a second before he rolled out onto the floor.

“Jack!” he yelled, rubbing his head as he stood up. “I already had a headache – you made it worse!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten drunk and climbed in bed with me, where you knew I was going to push you out,” I grumbled, climbing out of my bunk and heading to the bathroom. I had to take care of my morning wood and pee.

I went into the front of the bus after I finished in the bathroom and saw that Zack, Rian, Alex and Flyzik were all up front. “What time is it?” I questioned, searching through the fridge for something to eat for breakfast.

“It’s about eleven am. The rest of the crew is in the venue, setting things up,” Flyzik replied, not looking up from his laptop.

“What were you guys doing in the same bunk?” Zack questioned, smirking at us.

“I don’t even remember,” Alex groaned, rubbing one of his temples as he pulled a poptart out of the toaster.

I rolled my eyes, “Vinny fell asleep in Alex’s bunk, so drunken Alex thought it would be better to sleep with me than sleep in Vinny’s bunk.”

“Well, I’m sure you were warmer than Vinny’s bunk,” Rian chuckled.

“Whatever,” I grumbled. “Flyzik, I’m eating these pizza rolls for breakfast.”

“Gross,” Flyzik wrinkled his nose. “You’re gonna have pizza breath before it’s even noon.”

“They taste like heaven,” I protested, opening the freezer to pull the bag out.

“I like pizza breath,” Alex shrugged, and I felt my face flush slightly. I reached for the plate on the counter, but Alex pulled it away from me with a grin. “Nope. This one is mine,” he claimed, walking over to sit across from Flyzik.

“Asshole.” I shook my head, reaching for another plate and dumping some pizza rolls onto it.

“We don’t have any interviews today, do we?” Rian asked, looking up at the whiteboard that Matt likes to use. It was completely blank.

“Oh, shit. I didn’t write anything on that yet,” Matt said, standing up to do so. “No, there aren’t any interviews for a few more days. Today is just a show and then a drive to Albany tonight.”

Alex’s head shot up, looking at me, “You know what a free afternoon means, Jack?”

“Nintendo 64 games all day long?” I asked, laughing when he grinned.

“Hell yeah!”