Forget Yesterday

“Can we go see the sharks, Daddy? Pwetty Pwease?” Emma begged, tugging at Jack’s jeans.

Jack looked at his watch. 10am. Chicago’s biggest aquarium, Shedd, would definitely be open by now, right?

“Sure, squirt. If that’s what you want,” Jack nodded, smiling at his daughter.

Emma squealed and ran back upstairs, most likely to put on her favourite shoes. Jack bit his bottom lip, glancing down at his cellphone. He still hadn’t told Alex about Emma, despite them having gone on 8 dates in total now. It was now a Friday, the 19th of December, the day after Rian's birthday and the last weekend before Christmas, meaning Jack only had Monday and Tuesday in work before he had two weeks off to celebrate (although Emma was already off for her Winter break). He was hoping to celebrate with Alex, but he knew that Charlotte had said Emma wanted to see him too – maybe if he invited Alex along today to meet his daughter, then they could all spend Christmas together! Maybe if he called Alex now…

“Ready, Daddy! Sharks sharks sharks!” Emma chanted, running down the stairs.

…or maybe he’d call later.

“No running, Emma! You don’t want to fall and not be able to go out because you’re hurt, do you?” Jack frowned.

Emma pouted, and shook her head.

“No, I don’t. I’m sorry Daddy, I won’t run down the stairs again,” Emma said softly.

“That’s better. Let’s get our coats and go see the sharks, yeah?” Jack smiled.

Emma immediately grinned and nodded. Jack immediately knew he’d be in for a long day.

*

Jack had been dragged around Shedd Aquarium for over 3 hours now, looking at otters, an octopus, whales, penguins, lizards, rays and a whole assortment of fish. Jack was glad his daughter wasn’t all that into dolls and horses and flowers and stuff he didn’t know much about, but as much as he supported her love of the marine world, there was only so much he could see. Right now they were on their way to the shark exhibit, but – as Emma had happily informed him – there was still sea jellies, dolphins, seat turtles and frogfishes to see. Yay. Not.

“Daddy, did you know that Blacktip Reef sharks are common in the coral reefs and lagoons of the Indo-Pacific?” Emma asked cheerfully, pointing through the glass.

Jack frowned. He really did have a strange daughter.

“No, I didn’t know that, sweetheart,” he replied.

“Yuh huh, they can grow to 6 feet long and weigh around 30 pounds. And even though they prefer shallow inshore waters, blacktips startle easily and tend to stay clear of humans,” Emma grinned.

“That’s very interesting,”

“I know! Can I go ask the lady worker some more questions?” Emma asked hopefully, pointing across the room.

Jack followed her point, seeing a smiling woman in the Aquarium’s uniform, standing at the side of the glass screen.

“Yes, that’s fine. Do you want me to come with you?” Jack asked.

“No thanks,” Emma beamed.

Before he could reply, she’d skipped away. Jack sighed. At least the exhibit wasn’t too busy and he could watch her from here. Jack couldn’t hear what Emma said when she reached the woman, but the woman looked over at him, smiling but with a questioning look. Jack just nodded his consent for them to talk, and smiled back. He might as well let his daughter grow confidence on her own, right? Even if he was only a few metres away. He could indulge her love for aquatic animals, even just for a few hours.

“DADDY! A BABY SHARK’S GOING TO BE BORN THIS MONTH! WE HAVE TO COME BACK!”

Jack forced a smile. Okay, maybe more than a few hours. Whatever made Emma happy.

*

“Alright squirt, when we get inside you have to go wash your hands before dinner, okay?” Jack said firmly, grimacing slightly at the sticky candy stains on his daughter’s fingers.

He knew that stop for gas and candy was a bad idea.

“Yes, Daddy!” Emma giggled, unclipping her seatbelt.

Jack smiled as she got out the car onto the sidewalk, before getting out himself and heading to the trunk of his Mercedes, grabbing the bag of soft toys Emma had persuaded him to buy from the Aquarium’s gift shop.

“Daddy, who’s the man on our steps?” Emma asked loudly.

Jack froze, before spinning around. No. Oh shit no. Alex! The younger man had his eyes wide in shock, jaw dropped slightly, and Jack just wanted to cry. No, this wasn’t how Alex was meant to find out! Fuck!

“J-Jack?” Alex choked.

“Alex, please, I can explain,” Jack whimpered.

Alex just shook his head.

“I-I just came over to see if you wanted to grab some dinner together but...but I’ve got to go,” Alex mumbled.

Jack just watched as Alex walked quickly away from the house, and down the street, not looking back once. Oh, so that’s what heartbreak feels like. Fuck. Why…Why did it hurt so much to watch Alex leave?

“Did the Awex man run away because of me daddy?” Emma said quietly, looking up at her dad with wide eyes.

Jack immediately shook his head. He didn’t want his daughter feeling the guilt he felt right now.

“No, sweetheart, he ran because of me,” Jack sighed.

Because he hadn’t told Alex the truth.

“Oh okay,” Emma mumbled.

Silence.

“I didn’t want him to run away, because he was pretty,” Emma told him.

Jack smiled weakly.

“Yes, he is pretty, but I don’t think he’s coming back,” Jack said.

“Is that why you’re sad, Daddy? Is he a special friend?” Emma frowned.

“I thought he was,” Jack sighed.

“If he’s special then he’ll come back daddy, that’s how these things work,” Emma said simply.

Jack’s heart broke a little more at how much she really didn’t understand.

“I hope so,” he murmured.

He really did. Because if Alex didn’t come back, he wasn’t sure how he’d cope over losing someone so important this time.