Forget Yesterday

“Hey Jack, it’s me. Alex. Please can you call me? I really need to talk to you,”

BEEP.

“Hey Jack, it’s me again. I know you must hate me right now but please, we need to talk about this. Please don’t leave me like this. I love you?”

BEEP.

“It’s me again Jack. Alex, in case you’ve forgotten. I get it, you’re angry but you don’t have to be such a dick!”

BEEP.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you a dick. I didn’t mean it. I just miss you so much! Please call me?”

BEEP.

“Jack, I love you. Please, can we talk this out? I don’t love Danny, I love you! Please! You’ve got to believe me! That night was all him, not me! I only want you, please call me!”

BEEP.

“Hi Jack, it’s Alex. Again. I’ve figured out that you’re not going to call me now, so I’ll stop calling you. At least, I’ll try. It’s just hard not talking to you every day like we did before. So please, call me? I can’t do this without you. I need you, Jack. I love you,”

BEEP.

May had been a miserable month for Alex. If he hadn’t seen Danny at the beginning of the fucking month, then it wouldn’t have been miserable but he did and there was nothing he could do about it. Jack still wasn’t speaking to him. Even after he sent that delicious looking cake to his house. Vinny said Jack wanted to talk but where was he? Where was the man that Alex didn’t even know if he could call his boyfriend any more?

Where was Jack?

Alex was too nervous to go into the building next door, Jack’s workplace, on his lunch breaks. He didn’t want the humiliation of the secretaries turning him away because Jack didn’t want to see him. No, he couldn’t put himself through that. It was bad enough that Jack was refusing to return his phone calls, let alone if he refused to see him in person. What the hell was Alex meant to do? Was he meant to keep trying despite every wall that Jack had put up? Or was he meant to give in, give up his relationship through his own stupid naïve mistake?

He just didn’t know any more, and it was making him a mess.

Take today for example. The first weekend in June, the first weekend that Zack had called Alex and Rian over to his house to start planning his wedding. Yeah, that was what Alex needed right now, to plan a wedding. To hear about and to see two people so in love, even if it is one of his best friends. He’d mostly sat in silence so far, nodding glumly or grunting his answers to Zack’s questions. Alex felt bad, honestly he did, but there was nothing on Earth that would cheer him up right now other than Jack talking to him. Nothing.

“Okay, so I’m going to get the other table cloth samples from my room – there’s just so many to choose from!” Zack said excitedly.

As soon as Zack was out the room, Rian turned to Alex and punched him hard in the arm, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Dude! Oww!” Alex whined, clutching the sore spot.

“Snap out of your funk, Lex, seriously,” Rian hissed.

“You know why,” Alex sighed.

“Yeah, I do. And yeah I completely understand it. But please, can’t you just act happy?” Rian retorted, rolling his eyes.

“How can I act happy when I’ve lost the one person I could see myself having a future with like Zack does with Matt?” Alex muttered.

A little dramatic, sure, but it was the truth. Alex had honestly thought he and Jack had something good and strong and lasting. Clearly he was wrong.

Rian frowned, his face losing it’s anger, making Alex feel a little better.

“I know you love him, Lex, everybody does. But Jack is being stubborn right now and trying to deal with what happened in his own way,” Rian said.

“How do you know that?” Alex asked.

“Because Vinny told me. And Vinny also told me that Jack hasn’t given up on you two yet, so please…can you try to be happy for Zack’s sake? He’s freaking out about his wedding enough as it is, he doesn’t need your crazy ass and all it’s drama too,” Rian said softly, squeezing Alex’s shoulder.

Alex inhaled sharply. Jack hadn’t given up on them?

“Please, Lex?” Rian prompted.

Alex smiled wryly and nodded. He could do that for Zack. Especially if Jack still thought they had a chance.

“I can try,” Alex said.

“That’s all I ask. Zack’s gone to get table cloth samples because he can’t decide which would go best with his colour scheme,” Rian said.

“He has a colour scheme?” Alex frowned.

Whoops. Maybe he really hadn’t been paying attention.

Rian rolled his eyes and passed Alex a thick notebook, filled with sticky tabs and pieces of paper sticking out and sequins.

“This is Zack’s plan so far. Read it. Quickly,” Rian mused.

Alex’s eyes went wide but he nodded. He could do this. He could pretend. Maybe this would be a good distraction from waiting for Jack’s call.

Jack would call him, right?