Forget Yesterday

Jack didn’t know how much longer he could deal with feeling so crappy. He hadn’t been able to call Alex yet. He’d tried calling him, oh yes, but he only got halfway through dialling the familiar number before he chickened out. Yes, he was a coward. But he was still miserable and he didn’t know what to do about that.

Had he left it too late? Had he lost Alex for good? No, Vinny would’ve told him if he hadn’t got a chance left. Jack knew he needed to do something but he didn’t know what.

It was only a week after the cake incident, as Jack was now referring to it in his head, that everything changed. And it all changed because of Emma.

It was one evening, just after Jack had got back from work and picked Emma up from his neighbour, that Emma burst into tears as soon as he closed the front door. Jack immediately panicked, never having been good with crying, and her heartfelt sobs just made it that much worse.

“Emma? Baby? What’s wrong sweetheart?” Jack asked desperately, crouching down to her level.

“Everything’s wrong! Everything!” Emma hiccupped.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? I can make it right! Everything will be alright,” Jack said, trying to soothe her with his hands on her shoulders.

“No Daddy! No!” Emma yelled.

Jack flinched slightly, stunned by her anger.

“What?” he frowned.

“Everything’s not going to be alright! Everything’s wrong! Awex isn’t here!” Emma said, batting away his hands.

Jack inhaled sharply, eyes wide. Shit.

“Awex made us both happy so why can’t we be happy again?” Emma wailed.

A lump rose in Jack’s throat, his eyes stinging with tears. Why did her words always cut right to his core?

“Because Alex hurt me, Emma, that’s why,” Jack managed to choke.

“Did he hit you?” Emma demanded.

What?

“No but…”

“Is he with another man?” Emma interrupted.

Jack sighed. Technically…no.

“Well, no but…”

“Did he leave the country?” Emma interrupted again.

“No but…”

“No buts Daddy! I want Awex!” Emma demanded.

“Emma, it doesn’t work like that,” Jack said sadly.

Emma narrowed her eyes at Jack, her hands on her hips, surprising him slightly.

“Yes it does! I don’t want you, I want Awex! I’m not talking to you until Awex is back!” Emma said firmly.

And with a stamp of her foot, she ran upstairs. Jack’s jaw dropped when she slammed her bedroom door, before he whimpered. What the hell was he meant to do now?

He only knew one person he could call.

“Jello Jackalope!”

Vinny.

“I don’t know what to do, Vin. Emma hates me. She won’t stop crying and she hates me!” Jack whined.

“Woah, slow down, Emma’s what?”

Jack explained everything to Vinny. How Emma had started crying, how she demanded Alex, and how she’d stormed away.

“Damn, Jack, you’re going to have a shitty time when she’s a teenager if she’s acting like this now,” Vinny chuckled.

What the hell? This isn’t funny!

“Vinny, I’m serious! I don’t know what to do!” Jack exasperated.

“I think it’s pretty fucking obvious what you need to do,” Vinny said simply.

Damn it. Alex.

“I can’t,”

“You’re going to have to,”

“But…”

“Just grow a pair and call him, okay? This isn’t just about you anymore, Jack. It’s about Emma too,” Vinny said firmly.

Jack groaned when Vinny hung up the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fuck. Vinny was right. Emma wasn’t going to calm down until Alex was here. But how could he call Alex now? Would Alex even come over for Emma? Or would he say no out of spite?

Fuck.

After a little more hesitation, Jack took the coward’s way out. He sent a text.

‘Emma Emergency. Need you’

It was pathetic and it was cold, but Jack didn’t know what else to do. He just hoped it worked.

And it took Alex a full 20 minutes to ring the doorbell.

“Jack? What’s wrong with Emma?” Alex asked, sounding slightly out of breath, his eyes filled with worry.

A lump rose in Jack’s throat as he let Alex in the house and shut the door. Of course Alex would still be as caring as ever. Of course he hadn’t changed. Of course he still adored Jack’s daughter even after everything that had happened between them.

“She won’t stop crying because…because you’re not here,” Jack mumbled.

The worry in Alex’s eyes turned to anger.

“That’s what you called me over for? This isn’t an emergency, this is you not being able to deal with your own daughter,” Alex snapped.

Jack flinched slightly but didn’t back down.

“She said she’s not talking to me until you’re back,” Jack said softly.

“I think you deserve that, don’t you?” Alex retorted, hands on hips.

“I’ve tried calling! I’ve tried dialling your number but I just can’t! I’m still hurt, Alex. I can’t get the image of you and your ex out of my head and it’s driving me crazy!” Jack exasperated.

Alex’s anger faded a little, Alex biting his bottom lip.

“I didn’t kiss him,”

“I know,”

Alex sighed, running his hand over his hair.

“Where is she?” Alex asked, not looking into Jack’s eyes.

“In her bedroom,” Jack said.

His hand reached out for Alex, but Alex had already started walking up the stairs. Swallowing heavily to control his emotions, Jack walked up behind his boyfriend. Ex boyfriend? Hiatus boyfriend? Shit, he didn’t even know what they were anymore.

Jack caught up with Alex just as he knocked on Emma’s door and opened it.

“Emma? Emma it’s Alex,” Alex said softly.

Emma lifted her head from her pillow, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks tear-streaked. When she saw Alex her eyes went wide and she launched off her bed, running over to Alex. Alex whimpered as she clung onto his leg, her little hands bunching into his jeans.

“Hey, ssh, it’s going to be okay,” Alex soothed, stroking over her hair.

Jack just watched helplessly as his daughter cried into Alex’s leg, his heart breaking a little at the sadness in Alex’s face.

“No it’s not Awex! You’re not here anymore! Daddy’s sad and you’re sad and I’m sad! It’s not okay!” Emma wailed.

Jack choked a sob, his feet automatically taking him over to Alex’s side, the younger man seeming to collapse a little when Jack placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Lex…”

“No, Jack, don’t,”

“But…”

“Jack, please,” Alex whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

The tears that had been building in Jack’s eyes spilled down his cheeks, his hand shaky on Alex’s shoulders.

“Alex, I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry,”

“Jack, I…”

“Don’t shut me out, Alex. I know I’ve been such an ass to you, such an idiot for not believing you, and I’m sorry. I miss you. And I love you,” Jack said softly.

Those last three words seemed to cut into Alex, his body sinking into Jack like a stone. Jack immediately put his arms around Alex, holding him tightly, desperate for this not to be the last time he could do this. Alex wouldn’t come here and then leave again, would he?

“I love you so much,” Jack murmured, kissing the top of Alex’s head.

Alex whimpered.

“I love you too,” Alex whispered.

Jack’s stomach flipped. So this wasn’t the end? He still had a chance.

“Please don’t leave us again Awex,” Emma said softly.

Jack had almost forgotten she was there. Alex smiled sadly up to him, before looking down at the young girl.

“I promise, I’m not going anywhere. Not if you don’t want me to,”

But Alex wasn’t saying that last part to Emma. He was saying it to Jack.

Jack shook his head desperately, desperate to tell Alex that he didn’t want him to ever go anywhere again. Alex smiled, his eyes filling with tears.

“I want you here, always,” Jack mumbled, his hand cupping Alex’s face.

Alex just nodded, before burying his head in the crook of Jack’s neck, as if trying to get as close as possible.

“I love you, Lex,” Jack said again.

Jack didn’t think he’d be able to stop saying this now.

“Love you too,” Alex murmured into his skin.

Everything could only get better from here, right?