You Play My Heart Like Your Guitar

Mina woke up with a start, the same nightmare that haunted her every night seemed to have come with a vengeance. Thoughts so horrid, so bitter that she felt the aching in her heart almost unbearable; she swallowed convulsively and squeezed her eyes shut.
The memories of her clothing caked in blood, the wailing of her adoptive mother Loretta Giovani as she glanced at her husband then at her in the back seat. Her doe brown eyes had held such pain and horror and…sorrow before they forever closed and Mina remember shouting and begging for her to wake up.

Mina opened her eyes and found that she had bit her lip so hard that she tasted the bitter ironic taste of blood; she all but jumped out of bed and shuddered at the cold. She thought of her encounter with those boys yesterday and how horrible that turned out, Mina was convinced Rian would never speak to her…ever again.

Mina ran a frustrated hand through her hair, she glanced at her empty and lonely apartment, she wondered what a home felt like, she’s never known and she might never know. Feeling pathetic and despondent, Emilia thought it might be a good idea to get out of this apartment that seemed to bring every bad memory back to life.

Mina got ready and looked at herself in the mirror as a dangerous thought popped into her mind…What if she went in search of her real mother…? Surely the birth certificate she had would say something, because if she could just…just ask why she gave her up maybe…maybe then she could move on right? Mina stuffed some confidential papers in her bag and took a deep breath as she got out of her house.

Doubts assaulted her, what if she found out something really bad about her mother or worst comes to worst her mother would greet her with open arms, then what would happen? Would all those days she spent at the orphanage window dreaming her mother was a duchess from a faraway land that had to give her up because she became pregnant by her forbidden lover…what a dumb childhood fantasy, Mina thought bitterly.

As she walked…yes walked she still had a degree of anxiety in a car, even if she now was able to force herself in a taxi and be okay with it, but being in a car just made her stomach flop. Mina worried the hem of her shirt and bit her lip, she breathed heavily and cold sweat started breaking out. She came closer and closer to the Orphanage and she recognised the streets she had spent the most part of her teenage years wandering aimlessly.

Her breath hitched when she was at the doors, she pushed them open and adjusted to the dimness of the room, that’s one thing she had always loathed about this place…the sadness of it, no amount of coloured drawings or canvases of finger painting lit the place up…it was silent…eerie even.

“Can I help you love?” An elderly woman asked and Mina’s eyes snapped to hers, Mina’s eyes widen in recognition and she bit her lip.
“Hello Mrs. Dantwood” Mina said in a tiny voice and the woman’s eyes enlarged and her mouth hung open.
“Emilia? Emilia Stanford?” Mrs. Dantwood asked shocked and Emilia flinched at her old last name ‘Stanford’ once she was adopted, she changed her last name to her adoptive parents…the Giovanni’s.
“Yes…it’s me” Mina said timidly and the old lady who used to look after her as a child embraced her warmly, Mina flushed and wrapped her arms around Mrs. Dantwood.
“How have you been love? How’s your family…?” Mrs. Dantwood smiled and Mina winced,
“They passed away 3 years ago…” Mina looked down uncomfortable from the pity pooling out of Mrs. Dantwood’s eyes.

“Oh…I’m sorry love”
“It’s fine Mrs. Dantwood…”
“Oh call me Kelly sweetie” Mrs Dantwood…well Kelly said, Mina opened her mouth to reply but she saw little kids running around and her heart squeezed at the sight of them.
“What can I help you with Emilia?”
“I...I want to find my birth mother…do you know where I could start Mrs…um Kelly” Mina asked and Kelly pursed her lips and went to a cabinet, she opened it and searched for a while, she then pulled out a large folder.

“This is all your information…Emilia, but it won’t be easy…my nephew Rolf is an investigator, you can go to him”
“Oh when can I possibly meet him…?” Mina asked nervously.
“Well I could call him now if you’d like” Mina nodded and Kelly went to do that, Mina looked around and saw a little boy sitting down on the piano stool looking at the keys sadly. Mina walked up to him and smiled a charming smile that made the little boy blush.

“Hello what’s your name?” She cooed and he bit his lip while pushing his glasses back up on his face, this little boy was adorable!
“Harley…and-and yours…?” He asked shyly, going a darker shade of red,
“Well it’s lovely to meet you Harley I’m Mina” She grinned and shook his small hand; he had to be about 6 years old.

“Nice to me-meet you too…” He mumbled looking down at the piano keys once again.
“Do you know how to play?” She whispered to him and he shook his head, Mina felt a nagging feeling in her heart that she should teach him.
“Emilia sweetie, can I talk to you?” Kelly came back and she looked at Harley and smiled at him.
“It was nice to meet you Harley” She ruffled his raven hair playfully and he gave her a cute little smile but he turned serious.

“May I have a hug…Miss Mina? We don’t get them often…” Harley said in a meek little voice and Mina felt tears well up in her eyes, she opened her arms and Harley hugged her tightly as though this was the last hug he’d ever get, Mina felt tears drip down her face and she breathed heavily.
“I’ll come back okay Harley? I promise” Mina tipped his chin up to see his little green eyes that was slightly hidden behind his glasses tear up.

“Please don’t promise me, promises…They’re too easily broken…” He said and she choked up.
“No mine they’re not” she felt so attached to this little boy! She kissed the top of his head and waved at him and joined Kelly, she took a second to compose herself and not break down though she was almost at breaking point.

“Harley is a sweet boy” She heard Kelly say and she looked up and nodded,
“My nephew can see you tomorrow if you’d like love” Kelly said and Mina nodded not trusting her voice, she felt the tears still roll in her eyes, because in a way Harley reminded her of herself at that age. Mina drew in a shaky breath and felt herself shaking,
“Are you okay? I know its hard being back here Emilia” Kelly said placing a hand on her arm.
“I…just- just…” She started but was at lost for words.

“May I come back please?” Mina choked out and Kelly looked up surprised,
“Really?”
“Please…I would like to help around here” Mina whispered and Kelly hugged her, Mina sobbed and then stopped when Harley walked by, she waved at him and he gave her a timid smile.
“I better get going…I’ll come back soon though” Mina smiled tearfully and before she breaks down crying she hurried out of the door and ran straight into someone. She looked up as tears spilled out of her eyes and was shocked to see the hazel ones looking back down at her…Zack.