Hesitating and Suffocating

Cally sat up slowly, the doctor sawing the cast off her ankle and her arm, both of which had been shattered when the truck’s grill hit her left side. Of course, there was some scarring, but the doctors had been surprised. The scarring was minimal. But Cally refused to look in a mirror. She was afraid too.

During the accident and its aftermath, Cally was basically a vegetable. In a coma for three days, she awoke suddenly and with a demand for french fries and barbecue sauce, but she had no memory of the past six months. The last thing she remembered was Howie, her ex-fiance, dumping her for some dentist tempe. And oddly, she wasn’t hurt over it. She remembered the hurt, but didn’t feel it.

Of course, her best friends from England, Gemma and Henry, had filled her in. On John, on the past few months of turmoil and how much she loved John. The name, John O’Callaghan, had stuck in Cally’s brain through it all, and that was what caused her silence. If he was so happy with her, if he loved her so much, where was he? She was hurt, and the pain was like nothing else she remembered, and nothing hurt as much.

“There you go, Cally. You should be moved back home in few weeks, okay, love?” Dr. White said, her attending doctor now that the apparent crisis was over. They weren’t sure if she would remember, but they were sure of one thing. She was lucky to have survived.

Gemma squeezed Cally’s newly freed hand. “What do you think, baby girl? We’ll be going home soon. Well, you’ll be going home and I’ll be mooching off you!” Gemma was always excited to spend time with Cally, but this time was different. She cried a lot when Cally slept, and called John a few times, trying to make him come back.

No one knew where he was or why he left, and no one knew where any of the guys were. People assumed they were touring, but John was there when Cally got hurt, he held her tight until she was taken away, and he just .. walked away.

That made Gemma’s blood boil. “I guess so,” Cally murmured quietly, shrugging a little. Her hair had lost its luminescence, and she began to tug at the ends. “I guess it’ll be a nice change from this dreary place,” She said quietly, looking at the bare room, filled with fading flower arrangements and beige. Tons and tons of beige. Cally looked into Gemma’s deep green eyes that almost mirrored her own.

“Cally, I know it’s hard but you’re going to be okay, with or without him,” Gemma said, reading the girl’s mind. She scowled. Gemma was right, that Cally was thinking of John and the lack of memories she had for him, but that empty feeling that he wasn’t here.

“Okay,” She murmured, tugging on her hair again, looking at its fading blonde and wondering how many changes she would have to make before she was finally happy with this outcome.