Hesitating and Suffocating

Cally stood on the edge of the stage, helping set up the speakers. Kennedy, who was sitting on top of one she had already set up, was only there to protect her from John. Everyone knew about their rooftop fight, about Cally’s plan to go to Spain. And no one had the balls to ask her about it. “Cally?” Kennedy said, slowly, his lips hardly working as she turned around, her black hair hitting her in the face. “Did you know you used to sing to us? When we were still awake, and it was time for us to get some sleep? You would sing us lullabies and-”

Cally smiled, cutting him off. “Yeah, I know,” She said, and smiled. “Garrett told me. They were the lullabies from when I was a kid. I hardly remember them now.” She frowned, and went back to plugging in the speakers and testing them on her bright white laptop, a new addition to her life.

“Are you really going to go to Spain?” Kennedy blurted, and Cally sighed, not looking up from the screen as she chewed on her lip.

“I don’t know, Kennedy. I can’t stay here. That much is clear. I don’t even remember him, but John still hurts. Being here, and knowing that my lack of knowledge and memory is really scary, and Kennedy ... I need to start over. I can’t do this forever, and I’m breaking-” And she was cut off.

Kennedy had jumped down from the speakers and walked over, looking her in the eyes and cutting her off with a kiss. Cally could hardly process what was going on, but she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself into him, feeling safe in his arms.

Kennedy pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?” She shook her head, scared and thrilled at the same time. “Since the first time I met you.” He gently tapped her chest. “The same Cally is still in there somewhere, and this Cally is a lot like her, even if you don’t think so.” He gently kissed her forehead, and smiled at her.

“You’re going to kiss me, and then leave?” Cally said, regaining her confidence and smiling at Kennedy, who smirked and rolled his eyes, chuckling.

“No, I’m going to go change for the show, after which we’re going out to dinner. Just the two of us.” He walked away, and shouted over his shoulder. “Look sexy!” He yelled, and Cally rolled her eyes.

“I always do!” She yelled back, and laughed slowly as she went back to tuning the speakers, chewing on her lips in the way that Cally only could.
- - - - -
Cally stood in the tattoo parlor, having escaped the venue to “grab lunch and clear her thoughts”, when in reality, she was crossing something off her bucket list. She quietly thanked her lucky stars she had written the damn thing down before she got hurt. She was angry, too.

When she got in her accident, the doctors had to remove her three tattoos because they were damaged from the accident and from the burns and cuts on her skin. The cuts and burns had healed, but the tattoos were all gone.

She missed them, not knowing what they were, but they had meant something. That she was sure of.

“What do you want?” The man grumbled, looking hungover on the early Sunday morning. Cally smiled, lifting up her right bicep on the inside, and tracing it with her fingers, scared.

“‘We’ve all been degraded, we’ve all been the greatest’.” She said, smirking.